A - If I'm in love. Yeah, it's actually really monogamous and boring. Well, boring to talk about, not boring to live.
B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was. My grandmother.
C - How long it's been since I've kissed. Since lunch time.
D - If I have a preference for boys or girls. Girls.
E - How many piercings I have. Zero, unless it's a bad day.
G - The last person I said 'I love you' to. Wife, I think.
H - The last person I hugged. Wife. See, I told you this was going to be boring.
I - The last time I felt jealous, and why. That's one of the seven deadly sins I never really get around to. (Yeah, sloth is first.)
J - Are you insecure. What about? Everything except my penis size, hairline, and automobile. I'm not like other boys.
K - What my full name is. It's really hard to say unless you're in front of a mirror in a dark room.
L - If I have siblings. I have a brother that's nine and a half years older.
M - If I forgive betrayal. Exverything is circumstancial.
N - Favourite animal? Birds. Birds birds birds. Corvids and parrots and also owls because who doesn't like owls?
O - Where would I like to travel Back to Italy. China. I wouldn't mind doing the Steinbeck thing and driving a big loop around the US, except I would never talk to any strangers and I don't want to travel with a dog so it would just be me drinking bourbon on the side of the road every night, and I can just do that at home. Speaking of whisky, Scotland. Iran. Uh... Barcelona would be nice to return to.
P - What kind of music I like. Whatever the hell they call the kind of music Assemblage 23 makes these days. Covers. Classical from 1800-1950. Good ol' fashioned deathrock. Synthpop. Other things recently(ish) starred on Spotify: symphonic metal, electro swing, the Red Army Choir, like three versions of "The Rains of Castamere", Lana Del Rey, Garbage, David Bowie because of course I like Bowie, Johnny Cash, Korn because I'm a basic 90s white boy, Electric Six, Laibach.
Q - Favourite flower? Agastache because it's the thing in my yard most likely to be covered in bees. I like flowers, but I'm not super into them.
R - Is cheating ever okay? Questions about absolutes are stupid because there's always some obvious but far-fetched counterexample like "I'm going to blow up a schoolbus if I don't get me summa dat dick." In general, no, don't cheat, but do make sure you've got it worked out with your significant other which celebrities you're each allowed to have sex with.
S - 2 habits. I fidget constantly. I also do that annoying emo kid hair flip from south park because I need a haircut approximately 80% of the time.
T - 3 things I love unconditionally. I guess my wife, though if she cuts my dick off or something that might be pushing it. Birds. Everything else is at least somewhat conditional.
U - Favourite time of year, and why October, because it's not wet every fucking day, it's not a million degrees, Halloween, um... mostly Halloween.
V - Big dreams? Pfft, that's been beaten out of me already.
W - If I've done something I regret very much. In general I don't regret the stupid shit I do because it's usually a learning experience. The one exception that comes to mind is really shallow.
X - 3 turn ons Hair colors not found in nature. If your hair is blue or purple or something you're basically attractive by default. Wigs don't count. Crazy is kind of a turn on for me, which is not really a good thing. I don't have an explanation for it. Wit. I value intelligence but it doesn't really impress me because pretty much all of my friends are brilliant. Wit, though, is sexy. If you've got a cunning and/or biting reply to everything I say we are de facto flirting.
Y - 3 turns offs Intelligence, a sense of humor, and a high tolerance for weirdness are all sine qua nons for spending any significant amount of time with me, so I guess lacking any of those.
My wife read this one advice column where the woman writing was complaining that her husband had had cancer or something and surviving it made him really cheerful. She was glad he survived and was happy and everything but she fell in love with a cynical asshole and my happy sunshine was driving her insane. I could not live with Ms. Happy Sunshine.