numb heartbreaker
genre: angst, fluff
reader x kang daniel [ feat. jihoon ]
word count: 3.6k
warnings: divorced parents
chapter 1 // chapter 2
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Involving yourself with someone who has had their heart broken can drive you in many directions. Involving yourself with someone who constantly broke hearts can drive you in many directions. Involving yourself with someone who’s heart has remained pure, untouched, or content can drive you in any direction. Involving yourself with someone who feels nothing in their hearts can drive you in many directions. Seeing one’s heart and it’s current state or intentions would make life easier, now wouldn’t it? That was your ability. You could see if one was the heartbreaker, the heartbroken, the untouched, or the numb. When you were 3 months old, your mother was cradling you in her arms. Her eyes were filled with love. Opening your small and developing eyes, you could see a vibrant red glowing from your mother’s chest. Her heart. It was shining with beams of bright red. You couldn’t exactly make much of it at an extremely young age, but the image of a bright color radiating from your birth giver brought a smile to your tiny lips. Noticing your small smile, your mother gasped a bit and called for your father. “Honey, she smiled.”
Time flew by and you grew up. You grew up alongside amazing people who loved and supported everything you did. Your ability to see the hearts of others also grew up with you. You began to understand the colors that shone from the hearts of people that passed by you. Red meant they were happy, they were in love, their heart had been left untouched from heart breaks. Blue meant they were always or currently heart broken. Green meant their intentions were only to break hearts. Grey meant that they have or could never feel love in their hearts. Those hearts scared you the most. Grey hearts. The dull shadow that radiated from one’s heart brought you to sadness. You didn’t want to believe that there were people who had such a feeling in their hearts. You were particularly an optimistic person who believed that everyone deserves love, at least the slightest bit of it. Your ability to see such a thing isn’t exactly the best thing in the world. Your mother’s heart always shone a bright red for years, until one day. At age five, you skipped into the room your parents shared on one rainy day. Standing at the closed door, you could hear loud shouts and things breaking from behind it. Turning the nob, you peeked in and saw your mother crying on the floor as your father began to pack up his belongings.
“You can’t leave y/n. She’s too young. She can’t go through this,” she cried out. Your father scoffed and paced back and forth in the small room.
“Don’t make me the fucking criminal. You were the one who caused this. Don’t put this on me. If you didn’t sleep ar-“. You opened the door, interrupting his last sentence and moved your small feet into the room. Both pairs of eyes were on you now. You took a look at the scene and saw their hearts. Your mother’s heart turned from a bright red to a blue. Your father on the other hand, his heart had shadows of grey around it. It was no longer red as your mother’s had been. At such a young age, you still couldn’t grasp onto what these things meant.
“Momma. Daddy. Why are you yelling?” you ask with all the innocence in your youthful face. Your mother quickly wiped her tears and rushed over to you, her arms embracing your small form.
“Oh honey. Daddy and I are just sorting things out. That’s all.” You could feel drops of tears falling onto your head as she hugged you tightly. Your father was standing near the closet looking at the things he packed, contemplating whether leaving his child would’ve been the right thing. Walking away from your mother, you walked over to him.
“Daddy, are we going on a trip?” He lowers down to your eye level and tears started falling from his brown eyes. He brought his large hand to your cheeks, his thumb caressing them ever so softly. He exhaled slowly and smiled lightly.
“No baby, but daddy is going on a long trip by himself. I’ll come back to see my princess. Don’t you worry.” With that, he kissed your forehead, grabbed his suitcase, and left. 15 years went by and he never came back to see his princess. not once. But you still kept your positive personality. Despite years of not seeing the man who meant everything to you, you continued to stay smiling for your own sake. More importantly, your mother’s sake. Ever since then, her heart remained the same blue shade. It never changed, not even slightly. you still never understood why your father left. But you felt that if you found out, you wouldn’t be able to stay happy any longer. No one really knew about your ability. You figured that people would believe you were crazy if you told them what you could see. All of your friends had hearts that glowed with hues of red. That was something that helped you stay happy. You were glad that the people you’ve met throughout your life were all happy and loved. You haven’t involved yourself with someone who had any beams of green or grey and you didn’t plan on doing so.
Walking down the hallways of the university you started attending was really something else. You’ve never seen so many red glowing hearts in one area. Normally, the places you go to have a variety of different colors. everyone here seemed so happy. Not a single blue or green heart was seen.
“Hey y/n!!!” shouted jihoon.
“AHHHHH THE NATION’S WINK BOY,” you shouted back as you ran to give the boy a hug. Pulling away, he threw a wink your way. Attempting to do the same, you sent him one back. He winced at your failed attempt.
“That was disgusting don’t do that again.” Rolling your eyes, you lightly slapped his shoulder. You and jihoon had been friends since middle school. He’s been with you through thick and thin for the longest time. With both of you being newly high school graduates, you two decided to go to the same university.
“I can’t believe we’re in college. I didn’t even think i was going to graduate...” he said with a little more pep in his voice than intended.
“Yeah if it wasn’t for me helping you with nearly every homework assignment you were given,” you spat out. You rolled your eyes and he playfully flinched at your attitude.
“Ouch y/n, why are you so mean to me when i’m your soulmate??” Scoffing at his statement, you flicked his forehead and walked to your first class. You decided to major in pre med while jihoon chose the performing arts route. He was already in an eleven member boy group that debuted during august of last year. He was just here to finish up his studies while they were preparing for the next comeback. Walking into microbiology, you took a seat in the middle. Not too close to the front, not too far in the back. Adjusting to the environment, you observed the scene. Everyone had beams of red radiating from their chests and you couldn’t help but smile. The room began to flood with students and your professor began his lecture. The first assignment was a lab that you had to have a partner for. You didn’t know anyone so luckily your professor was the one to pick your partners.
“Miss y/l/n,” your professor called out.
“Yes professor?” you say standing up so he could see who you were. Finally reaching your face, he smiled and announced the name of your partner.
“Your lab partner will be kang daniel.” The professor looked around for the name being said and he sighed when no one spoke up.
“Who is not here. Of course. You’ll meet him soon miss y/l/n.” Understanding, you sat back down and waited for everyone to get their partners assigned. After hearing who you were assigned to, the class began to chat amongst one another.
“Oh my god she has to be paired with him? I feel so bad for her.”
“No girl could ever survive being involved with him.” Hearing the chattering around you, you grew confused. What could be so bad about your partner? Class ended and you walked to the cafeteria where you would meet jihoon. Both of your next classes wouldn’t start for another hour so you decided to grab a bite together. Heading for your desired location, you noticed your shoes untying and just looked at it while you walked. With your head being down that whole time, you didn’t realize someone was walking right towards you. Bumping into what felt like a brick wall, you were knocked back a bit and stumbled.
“I’m so sorry I should’ve looked up,” you say finally looking up. The boy was tall so your eyes met with his chest. Your voice was caught in your throat as you were about to apologize once more. His chest was radiating an odd color. It was a green mixed with grey shadows. You’ve never met anyone with more than one color painted over their hearts. Connecting what both colors meant, you concluded that this boy was no good. A numb heartbreaker. You continued to stare at his chest in confusion. How could someone be nearly heartless? Your fearful thoughts were interrupted by his deep voice.
“My eyes are up here princess.” His voice dripped with confidence that exceeded the normal human level. Shaking your head in hopes of it shaking your thoughts away along with it, you look up to the boy’s face. He was extremely good looking, if you had to say so yourself. Stepping back, you brought the smile back to your face in attempt to hide your nervousness.
“Did you say your name was kang daniel?” He smirks slightly at the sound of his name falling from your lips. He puts his hands in his pockets and scans you from head to toe.
“The one and only,” he says. Reaching out for your hand, you introduced yourself.
“My name is y/n and i’ll be your lab partner for microbiology,” you say with a warm smile. Laughing to himself, he reaches for your small hand and shakes it. His eyes wouldn’t leave yours as he continued to shake your hand. He didn’t seem like he was going to let go, so you made the first move by pulling away. Clearing your throat, you continued to smile at him.
“I hope we can get along well in order to pass the class”. He nods his head in response as he begins to walk away.
“No problem there princess. We will get along just fine”. As the distance between you two grew more and more, you felt like you could finally let out the breaths you were holding as you were talking to him. The beams of green and grey kept replaying in your mind and you could feel a shiver down your spine. Pushing the thoughts away, you headed for the cafteria where jihoon must’ve been waiting the longest for you. Approaching the table, your best friend has two bowls of tteokbokki set in front of him. Gasping a bit at the delicious sight, you sat down in the seat across his.
“This looks so good jihoon,” you say while practically drooling. He doesn’t say a word and it causes you to look up. His foot was tapping the floor beneath you impatiently.
“It would’ve been better if you got to eat it when it was warm and fresh, which was 30 minutes ago”. Frowning at him, you bite your lip in guilt. Placing your elbows on the table, your hands pushed against your cheeks, you looked at him behind your lashes.
“I’m sorry jihoon. I was late because of a small encounter with my lab partner.” The way you emphasized your apology made the boy break. He was no longer growing impatient with you. He had a weakness for your cuteness. Sighing, he shoved the bowl towards you along with a pair of chopsticks. Knowing you had won, you smiled at him. He scanned your form as you began to dig into the rice cakes.
“You said you ran into your lab partner?” he asks out of curiousity. Chewing the sticky food, you nod your head in response.
“Yeah. He’s a bit, different.” Noticing your shifting in your seat, he questioned you even further.
“How so? Is it bad?” he said as he scooted closer to the table. Shrugging, you sat back in your seat.
“I don’t know how to describe it. I just have a bad feeling with him.” Taking in your response he furrowed his brows, trying to think of a reason why you wouldn’t like your lab partner. Jumping in his seat as if a lightbulb sprung up from above his head, he squinted at you.
“Are you afraid he’ll mess up your grade, miss valedictorian?!”
Scoffing at his ignorant assumption, you lightly kicked his shin from underneath the table. Wincing at the pain, he threw you a glare.
“That was uncalled for y/n,” he says with a growl. smiling widely at him, you caressed his head.
“My dear jihoon. You should watch what you say next time.” Quickly melting into your touch, he mentally slapped himself as he realized how easily affected he is by you. If jihoon were to admit, he really liked you. He liked you for years, but he decided that it would probably be best if he kept that to himself. after your lunch with jihoon, you attended your last two classes and finally headed home with heavy feet. You were exhausted. You didn’t realize how tiring college would be, even if you only had three classes. In your defense, they were pretty hardcore courses. As you started to enter the doorway of your new home, you heard giggling from next door. Looking over, you could see a girl kissing a boy at the door saying their goodbyes. Peaking over, your lab partner stepped out of the door without a shirt as he waved to the departing female. The girl entered her vehicle and yelled out to him,
“same next time next week?” He chuckled to himself and shouted back.
“Not likely, kitten.” The girl drove away and he just stood at the doorway as he took a deep inhale. Still staring at him, he looks over and smirks. He walks over to you with his hands shoved in the pockets of his lowly hanging sweatpants.
“So you’re my new neighbor? That’s oddly coincidental.” You couldn’t respond. The only thing you could do was stare at the green and grey still radiating from his heart. You were brought out of your trance with the snap of his fingers as he tried to get your attention. You finally looked up and he looked down as he laughed.
“You can’t seem to take your eyes off of my chest. If you’d like to touch it, all you have to do is ask. Princess.” Scoffing, you unlock your door and enter without looking at the boy.
“Have a good night daniel,” you spit out as your shut your door. Standing with your back pressed against the door, your breathing returned to it’s stable state. You were terrified of what kind of person daniel was. The green and greys still shone through your small window as he began to return to his home. Exhaling, you wiped the sweat that was forming on your forehead. Shaking off your nervous ticks, you headed for the kitchen. You could hear the inside of the fridge being rummaged through and you knew jihoon was home. Setting your books and bag onto the counter loudly, you witnessed a very scared jihoon jump with snacks falling from his arms. Laughing at the sight, you shook your head at the embarassing boy.
“Goodness, y/n. Could you make a fucking noise or something when you’re coming in?” Rolling your eyes, you watched the boy hold his heart as he caught his breath. Observing the state of his heart, you took notice of the bright red shining from it. His heart always shone red, no doubt about it. It was really bright and you concluded that it was probably because he was surprised. When jihoon was with other people, his heart was never as bright. But when it came to being with you, you always found yourself having to squint whenever you’d look at his heart.
“Y/n you’re always squinting and it’s concerning. Maybe you should go get your eyes checked out,” he said as he picked up the snacks he had dropped earlier. Blinking a few times, you rested your cheek on your hand and sighed.
“Nothing is wrong with my eyes, you loser. I’m just trying to figure out if you’re at normal human status.” Cocking an eyebrow, he walked towards the countertop across from you.
“Now what is that supposed to mean?” Flashing a bright smile, you begin to change the subject.
“Why do you have so many snacks? Last time i checked, movie night was every friday.”
Placing all the snacks onto the counter, he walks over to your side and sits in the chair next to you. You spin your chair towards him and tilt your head in confusion. He begins to smile so brightly.
“Today is the day we celebrate our first day of college”. Taking in his smile, you can’t help but giggle.
“You’re disgustingly corny”. With that, the both of you downed 8 bottles of soda and consumed at least 10 different bags of chips. Nights like this always kicked away your growing stress. It was really needed, especially after your odd encounters with Daniel.
After 3 hours of countless laughs and little games with jihoon, the both of you headed for bed. You shared a room with him, each bed on either side of the room. Melting into the comfortable bed sheets, you let out a sigh. You couldn’t find the motivation to fall asleep, the thought of Daniel kept resurfacing. You could hear jihoon shifting in his bed.
“Y/n, are you awake,” he began to whisper towards your direction. Shifting to your side to face him, you nod.
“Do you remember what we promised in the 4th grade?” Memories of the two of you at that age brought a small smile to your face as you reminisced those times.
“Of course. we promised that we would always be there for each other. no matter what happened between us.” A lump in jihoon’s throat started to form.
“We’ve kept that promise for years already, but promise me again that we will always keep our word.” Confused at his sudden words, you hummed in response and he started to get out of his bed with his favorite teddy bear in his arms. That was the one you gave to him on his 15th birthday. He made his way to your bed and told you to scoot over.
“Oh my god jihoon why do you need affection right now?” you say with slight irritation in your tone. Shaking off your words, he got into the blanket with you and held you close. It’s not like this wasn’t the first time he’s done this.
“Shut up and just fall asleep you loser.” Scoffing, you found yourself drifting to sleep with his warmth radiating against you. It was comforting, but you couldn’t help but notice the bright red lighting the room. Little did jihoon know, you knew exactly how he felt about you. He was trying to hide it, but it was very clear to you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t return the feelings to him. Morning came too quickly. The sun beams shone through your window and you groaned in annoyance. You could hear jihoon snoring in your ears as he was still holding you. Peeling his arms from your form carefully, you began to get ready. You looked at him as he continued his slumber.
“You’re so fucking lucky you get to sleep in like that,” you mumble to yourself. Jihoon’s classes didn’t start until later today while you had to rise early for microbiology. Heading out the door, you could hear daniel stepping out of his house from next door. Picking up your pace quickly, you tried to avoid him. Halfway out the front yard, the boy calls out for you.
“What’s the rush princess?” The cockiness in his voice made you want to bash his head against the pavement. Sighing, you turn around and smile at him.
“I was just hoping to get a good seat before it gets too crowded.” Lies. He looks at you with a nod of his head, acting like he completely didn’t see through your lie.
“Let me walk you to class. we are, lab partners after all, right?” You tried so hard not to roll your eyes in front of him.
“You don’t have to, daniel. I’m a big girl and can walk myself to class, thank you.” Laughing at your attitude, he walks over to you.
“Don’t be like that princess. I’m just being nice.” Irritation grew at his constant use of that pet name for you. Forcing a smiling at him, you began.
“It’s not princess. It’s y/n.” With that, you turned back around and walked to your class. Smiling to himself, he walked a few steps behind you. Examining your figure, he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you. He thought to himself,
“She’s fun.”