Secret Love Song
Summary: Colby and Y/N hide their relationship from their friends and the fans
Warnings: swearing, implied smut
Word Count: 3,377
Author’s Note: This piece is created from the song secret love song, obviously you know the title anyway. so I had a really big little mix phase back in June July-ish of 2020 and this song was always on repeat and I started writing this piece but never finished or could finish?? so I FINALLY finished it! yay! Please enjoy this super long angst fluff piece! LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS IN THIS GIF BTW. This is my gif!
We keep behind closed doors; every time I see you I die a little more
For a while no one even knew they were together out of fear the media would find out. It felt like just a dream, their little bubble. It was bliss for the first few months but it became draining to hide away. It was even more impossible to hide the desire to kiss each other or simply hold each other in front of their friends. They pretend to be friends, not even close friends, most of the time trying their hardest to not even look at each other.
She sighed as she rested her head onto his chest. He slowly grazed his fingers along her arm, goosebumps arose on her skin with the feeling of his touch. They laid in silence, she shut her eyes as she laid listening to his steady heartbeat. She slowly ran her fingers across his chest.
She lifted her head slightly, looking down towards him. Noticing his flushed cheeks, she raises her hand and rests it onto his cheek. He slowly reaches his hand up and takes a hold of her hand. He pulled her hand towards his lips, he delicately kissed her knuckles. A small breathy giggle left her lips as she slowly leaned down and pressed her lips against his. He smiled against her lips.
Stolen moments we steal as the curtain falls; it’ll never be enough
She laughed along with a joke Reggie had said while she reached inside her jean pocket. Pulling out her phone she notices a text from Colby. She smiled to herself as she read the message “Meet me in the theater room,” she shut her screen off quickly, tapping her nails against the screen. She looked around the room, seeing if anyone was looking towards her but no one was.
She glanced towards Sam and Katrina, seeing Sam’s hand around her waist and her hand against his cheek. She watched as they smiled and laughed together. Y/N’s eyes drifted towards Kevin’s camera, she let out a sigh before she started heading towards the theater room. She slowly pushed the door open, peeking her head inside when Colby came up behind her and placed his hands onto her hips. He pushed her into the room. He quickly turned her body around and pushed her against the wall.
She gasped while her eyes widened. Colby watched the door close slowly beside them before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. He slowly moved his hands to the small of her back, pulling her body towards him. Creating as little space between them as possible. She smiled against his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He lowered his hands around her thighs, lifting her up slightly. She jumped, helping him as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
He walked her over to one of the red couches, and delicately laid her body down. He climbed on top of her, while his gaze looked over her features briefly before leaning down and kissing her hard. He reached down and took a hold of her thigh as he pulled her leg towards him.
He pulled his lips from hers, “I’ve been waiting all night to do this,” he whispered. His breathing was heavy as he licked his lips. She smiled as she reached her hand behind his neck and pulled his face towards hers again kissing him. She slowly ran her fingers through the ends of his hair as he played with the end of her shirt.
She pulled away, catching her breath. “Ten minutes,” she whispered as he admired her frame. He hummed while leaning down and kissing her neck.
As you drive me to my house; I can’t stop these silent tears from rolling down
His hand tightened against the steering wheel while he shifted his gaze towards her. She kept her arms crossed and her head staring out of the window. He clenched his jaw while he felt the urge to reach his hand over and take her hand but he couldn’t. Sam and Katrina were drunkenly talking in the backseat. She reached her hand up and wiped a tear about to fall onto her cheek. Colby’s breath caught in his throat when realization dawned on him.
A few hours earlier, a girl had spent the whole night trying to get Colby to come home with her. She was all over him, flirting, and at one point kissed him. Of course, he pulled away explaining for the fiftith time he had a girlfriend. Y/N saw them kiss but Colby never said anything to her about it. He didn’t think he had to, he didn’t know she saw anything.
The light turned red as he quickly turned his head towards her, waiting to see if she would look back. But she didn’t. His mouth opened slightly as he tried to find any words to say to her, but the only thing that fell from his lips was her name. Her body tense as she heard his breathy tone. Glancing towards the backseat, he sees that Sam and Katrina were not paying any attention towards them. She turned her head slightly, meeting his gaze briefly before the light turned green.
Colby looked towards the road again, he ran his hand across his lips a few times. “Are you alright?” She didn’t respond; she leaned her head against the window as she continued to stare out. He knew he did wrong, it wasn’t his intention or his fault. He looked in his rearview mirror looking to see if Kat and Sam were listening at all. They looked like they were in their own little world. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She turned her head towards him, he glanced towards her while he drove. Taking in a breath she simply nods her head before looking away again. He sighed while he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. He pulled into the large driveway to their house. Sam and Kat immediately pulled open the car door and headed towards the house without saying anything. “Can you drive me to my apartment? I’m not in the mood to sneak in and out,” she spoke barely above a whisper.
“Can you look at me please,” he begged while shifting his whole body towards her. She licked her lips as she tilted her head towards him. He reached his hand over, asking her to hold it. She slowly interlocked her fingers with his, a small sension running up through her fingertips. “I was trying to stop, okay? I didn’t want to kiss her,” he explained while he ran his thumb along her hand. She watched their hands while she listened.
“I know, I’m just tired of hiding this,” she sighed, her voice cracked as she spoke.
“Me too, Love,” he leaned his body over as he kissed her forehead delicately. “Let me take you home,” he pulled away from her slowly, still holding her hand.
You and I both have to hide on the outside; where I can’t be yours and you can’t be mine
They sat down on opposite ends of the couch while everyone else started to fill in. Sam stood in front adjusting the camera, making sure everyone was in frame. She leaned her head back against the couch as she shut her eyes briefly. The loud laughter and voices surrounding her faded as she ran her hand across her forehead. She cringed as she felt someone roughly sit down beside her. “Oh, sorry,” Aryia said as he shifted his body away from her slightly.
“All good,” she mumbled as she let out a forced breathy laugh. Her gaze shifted towards Sam as he ran back towards the couch, making sure the camera was set up perfectly. He groaned as he walked back towards the camera.
She tried to listen in on the several different conversations surrounding her, trying to find something she can join in on. But nothing seemed to peak her interest. She sighed as she reached her phone out, finding some sort of distractions from her thoughts. Yet the notification on her phone made her feel worse.
But the words written made her smile softly. ‘I love it when you wear blue ;)’. She glanced towards Colby on the other side of the couch. She saw him already looking in her direction. She met his eyes briefly, feeling her cheeks flush. As his eyes met hers he quickly shifted his gaze away. She kept her gaze in his direction for a while before she slowly turned her eyes back towards her phone. She quickly typed back.
But I know this, we got a love that is hopeless
She pulled her knees to her chest as she sunk deeper into the grey couch. Her eyes were teary as she watched the blue, nearly black, haired boy pace in front of her. He crossed his arms over his chest while he frustratingly clenched his jaw. She takes in a deep breath as she works up the courage to say the words that have been on her mind since the moment they got together. He stopped in front of her, a strong stare towards her direction. His eyes softened once he saw the tears leaving her eyes.
“Are you ashamed of me?” she expressed, tightening her grip around her knees. His mouth dropped open alongside his arms dropping to his side. He shook his head while he walked towards her. He leaned down in front of her resting his hands onto her knees.
“I’m nowhere near ashamed of you, Y/N. You are everything to me, you are all I have ever wanted. How can you not see that?” He was so desperate for her to understand him. He craved for her to know that she was the perfect woman for him. He would do everything to make her happy, to make her feel safe, to make her feel loved.
“Then tell our friends about us, I am so tired of keeping it from them. All I want to do is be able to hug my boyfriend in front of my friends, I just want to be a couple, Colby,” she pleaded as she sat up, leaning her face closer to him. He pressed his lips together as he started to shake his head.
“I’m trying to protect you, if the fans even see us an inch closer they’ll attack you. You know that,” he said slowly, running his hand along her thigh. Her stomach began to erupt in butterflies. “I can’t let them do that to you,” he looked into her eyes. She forgot her train of thought as she stared into his intoxicating eyes. He shook his head slightly. “I don’t know how long our friends can keep us secret if we tell them.”
She knew she could handle the response from the fans, but she wasn’t sure Colby would be able to read the comments about her. She nodded her head while she rested her hand onto his cheek, pulled him closer to her, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
Why can’t you hold me in the street? Why can’t I kiss you on the dance floor
She sat on the countertop in the kitchen while the party was raging around her. She kept a red solo cup in her hand filled with a little too much tequila, her head resting against the cabinet while she watched the different people walk through the area. Random people whom she has never met were the most frequent in the kitchen. Some tried to make conversation but she was not interested.
She was never into the whole party scene until she and Colby began to date. Everything in her wanted to drink with him, dance with him, laugh with him, and just be an obnoxious couple with him. Yet they couldn’t even make serious conversation without people becoming suspicious. After a while of watching the different people enter the kitchen, Colby walked in.
He was wearing his short sleeved long black and white striped shirt with many layered silver necklaces. He had his skinny black jeans and all black gym shoes on. His hands were covered in his many expensive rings. Her breath caught in her throat as she admired him. She swallowed slowly, suddenly feeling very thirsty. She brought her cup to her lips taking a long sip. She rested the cup beside her as he walked closer to her with a smug closed-lip smile.
“What are you doing?” she asked as he continued to get closer to her. He raised his eyebrows, a breathy laugh leaving his lips.
“I’m going to kiss you,”
“You’re drunk,” she replied while hopping down from the counter. Meeting him chest to chest. He leaned down, resting his hand onto her waist. She huffed slightly while her eyes dramatically rolled.
“A little bit,”
“I don’t want our first public appearance, one you can’t remember, Colby,” she said to him, pushing away from him. He groaned while leaning his head back.
“I said I was only a little bit drunk,” he pressed on.
Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours, Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops. I wish that it could be like that. Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours
It was a normal night with the friend group. They had just finished filming a video for Sam’s channel. One of Y/N’s favorites, “Who was the murder?” Everyone was still talking about the game when Colby watched Sam and Kat cuddle on the couch. He was happy, he had it easy with the fans. He admired the way they didn’t have to hide anything, they were simply together with no objections. He wanted it to be that easy for him. The idea of simply posting an ‘I love you’ post to Instagram with Y/N, was always something he wanted to do. But he knew he never could.
His gaze shifted towards the smiling girl standing next to Jake and Tara. He admired her outfit. The silky navy blue tight top with the black jean shorts. He loved how blue looked on her. The more he voiced this, the more she seemed to wear the color. She looked beyond beautiful. She flashed a wide smile as her gaze shifted towards his. They looked into each other's eyes, for a second it felt like time slowed and they were the only ones in the room.
His heart began to beat faster as he stared towards his girl. Only his. His little secret, his everything. He was so madly in love with every little part of her. It may have been the White Claw he chugged moments before or the pure love he had for the girl standing in front of him but he began to walk towards her. With pure determination to show everyone in the room that the beautiful girl in the blue was his girl.
“-So Y/N when are you going to give that guy a call. You need to get a boyfriend soon, I’m so tired of watching you be soooo alone,” Tara joked while Jake subtly took his arm away from Tara’s waist. Colby stopped short when he heard the words leave Tara’s lips. He still made his way over to the small group.
I don't wanna live love this way, I don't wanna hide us away, I wonder if it ever will change. I'm living for that day, someday
“I don’t think I will, I’ve got more important things in mind,” she chuckled while she subconsciously avoided Colbys gaze. Colby’ felt his body tense up slightly as he stood beside her.
“Mhm, okay, like who?” Tara said while glancing towards Colby. Y/N’s eyes furrowed while shifting her gaze towards Colby as well. Colby smiled widely as he leaned over and wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist abruptly pulling her body closer to him. Her eyes widened as she leaned her body into his.
“Like me,” Colby looked towards her, still a broad smile to his lips. She looked up towards him, shocked all over her features. He took his hand and placed it at the knape of her neck as he pulled her towards him. He pressed his lips against hers urgently. She kissed him back with equal urgency. Tara simply smiles as she stares toward the two of them. While Jake stares with his mouth dropped.
Colby pulled away after a few seconds, “You guys have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that,” he kept his gaze on Y/N as she did the same.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” she whispered.
“Tara, did you see that?” Jake asked dumbfounded. Tara shook her head.
“How did you not see that coming from a mile away. It was so obvious!” Tara responded while clapping her hands excitedly.
“What was that?” Sam shouted.
“When did that happen?!” Katrina yelled.
“Are you guys pranking us?” Kevin asked from the corner of the room. A few more of their friends chimed in, everyone but Tara in complete shock.
After the shock settled Colby began to explain what was going on. “We started dating around Christmas and we-”
“Christmas?! That was over eight months ago! I can’t believe you kept that from me for so long,” Sam interrupted. Everyone laughed as Colby’s cheeks flushed red.
When you hold me in the street, and you kiss me on the dance floor. I wish that we could be like that. Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours
It had been twenty-seven minutes since Colby posted the video about their relationship. The video was long with a broad explanation as to why they kept their relationship hidden for so long. Y/N and Colby sat in several different comment sections, mentions, and Twitter indirects. It was slightly better than they expected, on Twitter at least. Most of the fans were excited to see relationship content, many were happy to see Colby happy.
As suspected though, there were many who were angry towards Y/N. It was simple young fans who were jealous, yet none of the comments were affecting her. There was this weight that was lifted off of her chest. She stood up from the couch and walked towards Colby at his desk. He shifted his gaze towards her. Spinning the chair to face her. He smiled softly as he reached his hands out to the back of her legs. A small chuckle leaves her lips. She leaned down while placing her hand on his jaw. She ran her thumb along his jawline. “You did a good job, Baby,” she whispered.
“They’re still being mean to you,” he whispered back while he ran his hands up and down the back of her thighs.
“I know, but it’s out there, and we can finally be us,” she whispered as she leaned forward and kissed him delicately. He shut his eyes as he leaned forward pulling his hands back to his lap. She pulled away as he bit his bottom lip. She grazed her fingers from his jaw to his neck, down his chest, then to his hand. His eyes widened slightly as he let her take a hold of his hand. “Come on, Handsome,” she whispered, pulling him towards his bed.
Halfway towards the bed, he pulled her hand back pulling her to his chest. She rested her free hand onto his chest as he took his hand and took a hold of her waist. He leaned down and kissed her. She gladly kissed him back as she removed her hand from his and slid her hand to the back of his neck. He hummed as he walked towards his bed, pushing her in the process.
She broke the kiss to pull the hoodie covering her body over her head, revealing her bare chest. Colby smiled widely as he ripped his shirt over his own head. He walked quickly towards her aggressively kissing her as he pushed her down onto the bed, climbing on top of her.
