yeah sorry i’m having feelings again.
just. I can’t stop thinking about Ian in the beginning. How Mickey pushed him away over and over again, how he probably thought he’d never really get to know, get to understand that boy. How Mickey must have been a tightly locked and chained shut box of mysteries that Ian had no real hope of ever getting inside of. When they first started out, there was just so much he wasn’t allowed to do, don’t kiss him, don’t touch him too gently, don’t do anything “gay”, don’t act like you know each other in public, don’t ask fucking questions, don’t expect anything more than they had right then. And he weathered it, he took it and he made it work and he smiled at Mickey when he snapped at him because despite Mickey’s best efforts Ian has always understood Mickey better than anyone else ever could. It’s probably why he put up with all of it for so long and it’s also why he knew he had to push if he wanted them to get anywhere.
And so he did and so they did and now Mickey is his husband.
Mickey sleeps wrapped up in Ian’s arms, kisses him good morning and in front of family and strangers alike, he holds his hand in bars and restaurants, he married Ian and they told a crowd of their loved ones that they love each other.
Ian gets to really know Mickey. Gets to slowly open and go through the mystery box, gets to understand the trauma and the pain and the darkness and the anger that have dictated the way Mickey has felt and acted his entire life. And he gets to see him grow beyond that, leave it behind, he gets to see the scars heal and Mickey open up and let himself be soft and vulnerable. Mickey loves Ian so much and he let’s himself be loved by Ian right back and if that isn’t the biggest step up from the angry kid shoving Ian away for attempting tenderness.
And yeah, they’ve both fucked up a lot over the years and Ian has broken Mickey’s heart like no one else could have ever done.
But all in all, through all the years and all the pain, Ian has always been the only one to see the good in Mickey. To see deeper than the superficial, to look into his face and see the scared little kid beneath the threats and violence. Ian always knew that there was more to Mickey than first met the eye and he was willing to stick around and fight to find it. He believed in a person Mickey himself maybe didn’t even know he could be.