#my shameless posts

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

honestly ian and mickey didn't deserve to go through all this shit but at least now they forever have judging-rights when other people complain about their petty problems.

oh what's that lip? sex in an rv is kinda uncomfortable? lol we had to fuck in a freezer, a van and/or in public for years man

debbie is mad bc sandy is being a milkovich and won't talk to her after an argument? cute, mickey broke my leg once when i tried to talk to him about feelings.

aw you had a shitty date? oh did you get shot in the ass? did you get ratted out by your bitch of a half-sister and arrested by mp's? did you???

and it works in the other direction as well!

oh your boyfriend got you flowers? did i ever tell you about how mickey risked his life snitching on a cartel and took a prison sentence just to be with me? 💅🏻

had a good date this time? yeah but did you cry with ecstasy??

just literally anything nice happen to you? cool but did you marry the love of your life after being torn apart by life and painful circumstances and finding your way back to each other over and over again? did you lovingly gaze into his eyes as you held his hands in yours and promised him to love and to cherish him til death do you part? no? huh can't relate, sucks to be you i guess :/

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

You think Lip sometimes looks at Ian and Mickey and just smiles a little to himself because who would've seen that coming?

Like, Lip's always been good with odds and numbers and back in the day, back when they started out a fucking lifetime ago, absolutely nobody would have bet on those two making it in the end.

He had been around back then, on the side lines catching glimpses from time to time. From 'Mickey's gay and we're doing it' and 'i know what he felt with me' to 'you think i should've?' and 'because i love him'.

And Lip hesitates in the doorway when he enters the living room for a moment and watches them lie on the couch in front of the TV, wrapped up in each other's arms, sleepy and content, for once neither bickering nor on the verge of fucking and he thinks that he's never seen Ian so happy and being himself this much at the same time before.

And maybe he shakes his head when he looks at the man in his brother's arms because holy fucking shit that's Mickey Milkovich right there.

That's 'someone's gotta get a beat down', it's 'oh shit is right', it's anger issues and russian prostitutes and attempted murder and escaping prison to fucking mexico.

But it's also the guy who pours Ian his coffee in the morning and makes sure he doesn’t drink it before he’s had something to eat, who used to count his fucking pills, who once bought a bag full of B vitamins as if they could fix it all somehow.

It’s who Ian lost sleep over, it’s who he made his best bad decisions for.

It's Franny's Uncle Mickey, it's Mandy's older brother and holy shit, it's Ian's fucking husband.

And isn't that so beautifully Ian, that he saw something in that dirty faced thug from ten years ago that no one else ever bothered to look for? that he found a love that proved itself to be stronger than whatever life or fate or Terry fucking Milkovich threw at them, that pulled them back to each other every time they fell apart?

Mickey has been a constant presence in Ian’s life in a way that nothing else but Lip himself ever had. Has been a witness, a catalyst, a victim of Ian’s epic highs and lows, has done insane things to and for and because of him. As fucked up as they always were, they seem to hold the balance, they somehow make it work.

Lip loves his brother with all his heart, has done so his entire life, he knows all the best and a lot of the worst of Ian and he knows that Mickey knows it too. Loves him, too. Signed up for it all, the whole package, good times and bad, sickness and health, Monica and Gay Jesus, mania and depression. Had probably signed up for it long before they stood in front of witnesses at the Polish Doll.

So Lip smiles sometimes when they bicker over breakfast cereal or when Ian can’t keep his hands to himself even when the rest of them is right there or when Mickey talks shit like he’s still big bad Milkovich, south side thug extraordinaire and not the boy who has been in love with Lip’s little brother for the last decade.

Because it’s nice to see they made it. Because if anyone deserves a happy ending and a gentle future, it’s them.

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

Mickey sitting on that bed and feeling self-conscious after that fucking day. feeling embarrassed and just needing the comfort of an environment he knows and feels safe in. and suddenly Ian's there and great, now he has to talk about those fucking feelings and well, maybe he even wants to talk about them a little bit to Ian, wants him to understand that Mickey’s not going back there that Mickey doesn't belong into that world Ian seems to so desperately want to be a part of.

and he expects a fight that ends in yelling or the chin and he anticipates spending the night in an empty bed in a house that's being dismantled around him but then Ian says fine. fine, we'll stay here then.

and that's not what Mickey expected at all so he asks why, suspicious and wary because this doesn't make any fucking sense.

and then Ian just says because you're my husband? if you're not happy there then we don't have to be there. like it's NOTHING, like it's obvious that he'd give up on something he dreamed of for Mickey's comfort and Mickey suspects a scheme, some kind of manipulation but there isn't any, it's just Ian wanting them both to be happy, together.

and fuck if that isn't something Mickey still hasn't gotten fucking used to after all this time but it's beautiful. He's safe with Ian because Ian knows him, knows him so well and he cares more about Mickey than about a stupid luxury condo full of rich people and their weirdass dogs.

just because you're my husband.

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

wanna talk about mickey using his given name during their wedding vows bc he wants to show he is taking this seriously and that he wants to get it right, do it properly, the way you're supposed to vs ian calling him mickey in his vows because he's marrying the mickey milkovich he fell in love with when he was 15, his mickey who he has known forever and loved for almost all of it

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

it is my official head canon that ian took mickey home, took him up to their bedroom, undressed them, then got him into bed and just held him close. letting him settle and calm down, letting him cry silently into his chest, gently running his fingers through his hair.

and when he got the call about frank he asked if mickey wanted him to stay or to come with and mickey told him he needed se time alone so ian kissed his head and stroked his cheek, told him 'i love you' and 'call me if you need me'

after ian gets back from the hospital he checks on mick who's asleep with his face buried in ian's pillow and later ian joins him and pulls him into his arms and holds him through the night.

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

i absolutely fucking loved Ian bringing the reality checks into Mickey’s emotional chaos this ep. Like he let him mourn and cry and remember but he also made sure to point out how fucking messed up Terry and their whole relationship was.

Just no chance for Mickey to retrospectively make Terry into anything other than the abusive monster that he always was.

supportive husbands are what i live and breathe for ngl

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

do you think ian sometimes randomly remembers what it was like wanting to kiss mickey so badly but not being allowed to?

having mickey push him away and snap at him for trying, having him flinch when ian got to close?

and now he can just reach over mid conversation, in public and kiss him, can pull him close and hold him whenever he wants

because mickey's his husband wow

[self-absorbed-pretty-boy]

i am, as always, thinking about Mickey.

i am thinking about Mickey the day he got married to Svetlana, trying not to think about it, trying not to feel, trying to keep it all down and in and being terrified of his father and even more but completely differently of Ian.

i am thinking about Mickey after Ian left to enlist, knowing it was his fault even without Mandy telling him so, and still too scared to admit it even to himself, knowing it was too late now anyway.

i am thinking about Mickey looking over a doped up and passed out Ian, unsure of where they stand, out of the loop, guilty and confused and worried worried worried because something is so seriously and deeply wrong and it’s not going to be easy to fix.

i am thinking about Mickey coming out, knowing with bone-deep certainty that there’s a chance he’s going to die for it and still choosing this over losing Ian again.

i am thinking about Mickey after visiting Ian in the hospital, trying to be as unfeeling as Ian’s face had looked, trying to hold on to “it’s just the sedation” and “he’s going to get better” and “we’re going to be okay”, trying to hold on to believing that there’s still a “we” between them.

i am thinking of Mickey getting sentenced to fifteen years, falling into a future that he had believed he’d be able to avoid after all, being taken away from home, from Ian, from the chance to somehow make it right again between them.

i am thinking about Mickey in the night they spent in the van, finally back in Ian’s arms after being starved of touch and affection for years, probably trying not to think about whether this is the last time, whether Ian will leave again in the morning without looking back.

i am thinking about Mickey on his first day in Mexico, heartbroken and displaced and so fucking alone, trying to prepare for life on the lam for what he thinks will be forever.

i am thinking about Mickey alone in prison after Ian made parole, repressing what he feels, trying not to let himself hope because he’s been here before and he’s not making the same mistake about Ian and wait for me again.

i am thinking about Mickey climbing through a window and into Ian’s arms.

i am thinking about Mickey hearing livin on a prayer, acoustic, hard, and taking Ian’s hand, holding on and remembering that after all these years, they’re still Ian and Mickey.

i am thinking about Mickey saying Damn straight, Gallagher and I, Mikhailo, take you, Ian, to be my husband and Morning, Mr. Milkovich

i am not thinking about Mickey saying give it to me, dom top daddy

i am thinking about Mickey trying to get a job at amazon because Jerome’s a dick but he’s right that he doesn’t want to disappoint the people he loves and it doesn’t work out but they do - they work it out.

i am thinking about Mickey being Franny’s favourite uncle, being family.

i am thinking about Mickey being so much better than that.

i am thinking about Mickey singing Lady Gaga and smiling and dancing with his husband in the bathroom where Ian took care of his head injuries after he jumped from a bus, one door down from where he told Ian that of course they’re a couple, upstairs from where he kissed Ian in the kitchen wearing their matching camo.

i am thinking about Mickey having love and happiness written all over his face, being proud and free and beautiful.

i am thinking about Mickey having made it, through it all, against the odds, after refusing to back down and give up, after always always fighting and scrapping for the things he didn’t allow himself to want and hope for.

i am thinking about Mickey waking up warm and safe in his husband’s arms, letting himself enjoy it, letting himself grow into someone vulnerable and sensitive, someone who has a home and a family and a husband and a future.

i am forever thinking about Mickey.