#asexual!sammy

[xompeii]

Gonna try drawing Sammy with a little black ring as part of a fic I’m working on.

[morecuddlzpleaz]

Sam knew from the get-go that he wasn't exactly normal. He did really well in high school, stayed away from things that would distract him more from his studies than hunting already did. He always thought he was doing the responsible thing until he started getting pointed questions from both Dean and his Dad about girls. He didn't realize that he was supposed to be distracted, by girls according to his dad, hell Dean said he would even take boys. Sam started talking about girls more after that, started spending time at the library and saying that he was visiting Laurie or Steph.

He thought that college would be better, that no one would care what he was or was not interested in doing with his free time. He was wrong. Brady gave him shit about always staying in, and when Sam tried to explain Brady just gave him shit about not being natural and trying to set him up on dates. Then he met Jess.

Jessica was his saving grace, no really. Sam told her everything and she offered to move in with him. She said her girlfriend back home trusted her and that it would make her parents feel better. When she or Sam had nightmares, they would crawl into bed with each other and curl up around one another pressed together tightly. Sam got along great with her girl friend and their was even talk about possibly discussing relationship lines.

Then the fire happened.

It was the same old shit except now Dean was a little easier to fool, a little less judgmental. Sam felt broken.

Cas had been giving him sidelong glances for a while. Looks full of longing and Sam new he had been doing the same. It took Sam two weeks into their dance before he sat Cas down and tried to tell him that it would never work, that their was something wrong with him and that Cas would be better off turning his head elsewhere. Cas stopped Sam mid sentence with a finger on his mouth and a soft sweet kiss to his forehead. Sam looked at him wide eyed and a little startled waiting for Cas to say something, anything.

Asexual. Sam rolled the word around in his head. He was overwhelmed, he had never thought that what was wrong with him could be normal. Cas seemed to understand his need to think and had merely curled up by his side with his head on Sam's chest and was talking low and quietly about anything and everything. Reassuring Sam that he wasn't going anywhere, didn't want anything that Sam wasn't willing to give. And for some reason...Sam believed him. Maybe not with his whole heart, maybe not all at once, but Sam knew that one day he could and that was all he ever really wanted.