Retreat, relax, rejuvenate... and maybe run for your life.
PRE-READING THOUGHTS
The setup alone sold me: wealthy weirdos, a yoga retreat with an alligator mascot, and the promise of biting satire? Yes, please. I came in expecting sharp character work, Florida chaos, and something (or someone) unhinged.
POST-READING
As I thought...
This is a Florida novel in the most deliciously unhinged way—sunny, sweaty, and just a little deranged. The characters are outrageous but recognizably human, and Ellas has a killer eye for skewering privilege, influencer culture, and spiritual tourism.
It surprised me by...
How well it balances the satire with sincere emotional arcs. Yes, it’s laugh-out-loud funny and over-the-top in all the best ways, but there are real moments of self-discovery here too—albeit usually sandwiched between margaritas and passive-aggressive yoga poses. Also: Bubba the gator deserves an entire spinoff.
🎵 MUSIC PAIRING
Featured Song: “Tennis Court” – Lorde
Vibe Album: Dirty Computer – Janelle Monáe
Artist Recommendation: Chappell Roan (campy, sharp, and not afraid to bite)
🌀 VIBE CHECK
🎨 Colour Palette: teal yoga pants, sun-bleached coral, fake tan orange
🎬 Soundtrack: clinking cocktail ice, distant gator grunts, awkward laughter during guided breathing
☀️ Season: sticky, late-spring Florida heat
🌴 Mood: decadent, deranged, dangerously zen
🍸 Scent: sunscreen, sage smoke, and something... suspiciously metallic
🔮 TAROT PULL
The Tower – Enlightenment through absolute chaos. There’s no gentle transformation here—only the kind that involves flaming reputations, shaken egos, and maybe an alligator. Namaste, baby.