#ashingaway

[theirlosthope-2]

The wedding ring on my dash made every whimper. One day she will force Asher to marry her. Telling him it's for their child or some shit.

[theirlosthope-2]

★

Send me a ‘★’ and I will tell you how my character feels about yours (openly and secretly)

"I love you. You know that, but I need you to know that I love you, because I’ve never loved anything in my life other than my red lipstick and my shoes. And I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count since those are inanimate objects. But you saved my life—- mentally and actually. I love you from the way your hair slips out of place and hangs over your forehead at the end of the day to when you don’t speak even when I’m trying to make you smile. I love you when you’re at your lowest and I think that’s a big deal."

        Why are you here? Why do you care about me? Why did you stick around even when I have a child that’s not even yours. I don’t deserve you and you’d be off better without me. I’ve done things you told me not to, I’ve made you so sad that it hurts me. I’m bad for you. I’m a whore who just belongs to herself and you shouldn’t be with me. But I love you and I don’t want you to go because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I think that things might actually go right for me. And I want you to father my child and there’s no one better.

[theirlosthope-2]

Red Lipstick. - Avery & Asher

It wasn’t a good day. She hated this day. Mostly because she couldn’t get anything out of her mind and she was just thinking of all the blood, the rape, and the yelling. She was a whore. Slut. Cunt. None of it left her and she began her day by shaking, sobbing in the bathroom like she did when she was younger. She wanted to feel better. She wanted to make herself be a little happier. So she curled her hair, put on her favorite pair of heels and just planned on going shopping. but there was something missing. She’d walked around the apartment for hours, trying to find it but she fucking couldn’t! She needed her red lipstick. It was what completed her. She could never leave the house without it on. Avery didn’t like how she looked without it. She loved red lipstick. The only place she might have left it was at work. But she promised Asher she’d never go back there.

He wouldn’t even know.

It’d be quick. So she stepped out. Brisk air nipping at her skin and Avery didn’t even cover her arms. She didn’t like coats. So it left her to freeze. though she didn’t mind. Today was an exceptionally numb day. she wouldn’t feel anything. But it wasn’t that far of a walk to get to her workplace.

It was quiet. Early morning were always sort of slow.Not many people worked, and not many people were looking for sex on a Tuesday morning. Avery just walked straight to the back, where everyone’s things were till their day was over. She had one of her purses still there. She kept most of her makeup in there when she needed to touch up between jobs. The heels clicked infamously, and she’d had a few people stop and say hi to her. She just nodded and kept going, her fingers finally going o search her bag. She had orange lipstick. She had plum lipstick. Blush, eye shadow, mascara, even a curling iron in her goddamn bag. But where was her red lipstick! She let out a whimper, pressing her head against the wall. 

"Ave—" No. It was a bad idea to come here. She needed to leave. Now. No coming back. Her hand quickly grabbed the bag, and she turned around, already seeing the tall figure in front of her. Inches taller than her— maybe even taller than Asher. She just stared. Wide eyed. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t. She tried to slip past him but he grabbed her arm, nails digging into her delicate arm. She winced, trying to pull away, but that only caused him to grip harder, causing her to yelp, “You’re being rude, Avery. Just let me say hello.” He pulled her back, looking at her as she was pressed against the wall. Eyes lingered over her body and Avery just closed her big brown eyes, wanting this to be over soon. Just rape her and leave, Ricardo. Do what you always do and break her into pieces. A hand placed over her stomach, the bump that was starting to show more easily, “Are you pregnant?” He smirked. She hated him. Hated him more than she hated the Mob. He was disgusting, but he owned her. That was established right away, when she started working her.

Fear was pumping through her veins and she just whimpered again, wanting it to be over, “Well aren’t you a fucking whore.” He looked at her face, grabbing her jaw to make him look at her, “Who’s the father? Or have you fucked too many guys to even know?” 

"Please…" She whispered, eyes glossing over. She just wanted him to leave her alone, "Let me go," A few girls had been looking now. People whom didn’t especially hate Avery. She knew they would have helped if it was some other pervert. But Cardo owned all of them. You can’t stand up against him. She loved Asher, and she should have listened to him by never coming back, but stepping foot into this place, she wasn’t his, she was Ricardo’s. It wasn’t her choice. She just wanted Asher right now. He’d hold her, and kiss her head. He’d make her feel okay, and buy her new lipstick, "I have a boyfriend," It was weird calling him that, but how else was she supposed to get him off of her. She doubted it would work, but she’d just try.

He snorted, pushing her harder against the wall, “Just because you suck his dick on a regular basis does not make him you’re boyfriend. Whores don’t get romance. And Avery, you’re the biggest slut I’ve ever met. He probably just buys you dinner sometimes and sucks your cunt. That’s not a boyfriend.” He talked to her like a child. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. She was done with his shit. Sneering, she spat in his face. He loosened slightly, giving her a chance to slip away, pulling out her phone only for a second, dialing Asher’s number. She should have listened. She should have just stayed home and cried. Just waited for him to come home and hold her. But she wanted to do it herself for once. She wanted to be an adult. She just wanted to be happy for him so he would think she was strong. Avery is supposed to be strong for him. 

She knew he was quickly approaching her. She tapped her finger against the end of her phone, he wasn’t picking up. He always picked up. Why wasn’t he doing it this time? She was afraid. Cardo was not far behind her. his messaging system played, the dull beep echoed in her ear and she began, talking quicker than normal. She was almost at the door, she could almost each it, “I’msosorryAsherIshould havelistened. Ineedyourightnow. Ijustwantedto getmylipstick. I’matwork. I’m so sorry, Asher. Ple—”

Her hand flew from her hand, a hand grabbing the curl of her hair, swinging her against the bar. It hit the side of her face, her nose almost instantly bleeding. Her purse had fallen, along with the bag with makeup. Everyone was watching now, Avery covered her eyes as she sobbed, blood running down her face. But he obviously wasn’t done. Pulling her by her blonde curls, he made her look at him, “You’re lucky I didn’t fucking kill you. You’re useless. A useless, fucking cunt.” He let go, head falling hard on the floor again. She whimpered, crying again. She could taste metal. A feeling she’d thought had left, but it was all coming back.

"I’m… not.. a cunt." She said, quietly. She regretted it the moment she said it. She wanted to take it back, but it was too late now. By now, people had looked away, minding their own business because they might get some if they kept watching.

"Excuse me?" He looked at her, grabbing her face. His harsh gaze lasted for a while, just making her feel the fear deep in her bones. She shouldn’t have said it. But she didn’t want to have to deal with anymore. No one should. 

"Let me go, please," She begged. Tears mixed with blood and she was laying on the cold floor. But he didn’t, he only gripped harder. She needed Asher. He needed to come and save her right now. She felt so stupid. Such a dumb bitch. Asher wouldn’t be happy. He’d yell at her. Maybe he’d be so upset he’d just leave here. She choked out a sob, feeling his grip tighter, impression of his nails were on her cheek. She asked for it. Deserved whatever he was going to do to her. Maybe she was a cunt. A mobster’s princess. She’d always have her nose to the clouds. So much better than everyone else. A high class whore. Such a whore. Dumb whore.

"Why would I let you go now? You’ve disrespected me twice now. Is this what happens when you disappear. You learn to get mouthy? This boyfriend of yours, does his cum has some kind of chemical to make you such a dumb slut? I’m not going to let you go just so you can run to this ass who you think is your boyfriend. He doesn’t like you, Avery. Who would like a dumb slut like you? There is nothing to like about you. You’re weak. You’re stupid. And you’re pregnant. Fuck, you’re not even good looking anymore. You just give good head. That’s all it is. That’s all there is about you, Ave. You’re a whore. Only good at sex. It’s all you know. You’re useless otherwise.”

She cried, letting her head rest on the ground. He pulled away, slowly standing up as there was a small puddle around her. It soaked her hair, he was getting on her best dress. She just wanted her lipstick.

He was yanked from her body. Fully pulled off of her and she looked up to see Asher. He got her quickly. Her eyes widened, looking at him grab the man by the collar. His face was blank. Like usual. But it was different in a way. Something much darker. It scared her. She didn’t want to face him. She was so stupid. She fucked up. He should leave. But he didn’t. Instead, he stopped before one of the marble table, slamming his head down. There was a crack, and Avery thought Asher might have killed the guy, but he was still breathing. He just fell to the ground, his face smashed. He grabbed him again, ready to hit him across the table—

"Stop—!" She sat up, trying to get to her feet, but her body ached. Her hand clutching her stomach, the other on a bar stool. He looked at her. Her curls were crimson, sticking together at her shoulders, her face covered in tears and blood. He probably broke her nose, because it wouldn’t stop bleeding, "Stop," She said again, quieter this time, in a small sob. She should have stayed home. 

Asher quickly let go of Cardo, taking long strides to Avery, helping her up. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. He would be too upset. He told her. He didn’t want her to come back. He wouldn’t have known. She just wanted her lipstick. She just wanted to feel better before he got home. It wasn’t about her. It can’t be about her. She can’t be selfish. That’s stupid. It was about him. He needed her. She needed to be the strong one. The one who was okay all the time. She failed him, and disappointed him most likely. 

Holding onto her stomach, Asher lead her out the club quickly, bending down to pick up her purse. The bag with makeup had scattered and he didn’t want to have to pick it up. He’d replace everything if he really needed to. Pushing through the door, he held onto her, thinking she might collapse. She was silent though, looking forward. She shook, trembled. That’s what she did when she was scared. When she was empty. When she stopped feeling. She shut down. Her tears stopped, and as he put her in the car, the ride home was silent. The blood finally stopped, but still covered a good fraction of her face.

He helped her up the stairs, her high heels making her go slower. At least they weren’t ruined in this mess. At least she still have her shoes. They got inside their home, the mewling of their kitten could be heard from the other room as he pranced to the two, rubbing against her feet as she kicked off her heels. Bare feet hit the ground and she wiped the blood and tears away at the sink, “I’m so sorry,” She whispered, “I should have stayed home. I should have just sat in my pajamas. I so stupid. I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me. I didn’t want to upset—” She didn’t finish, Asher just pulled her into his chest. Gripping onto the fabric on his torso, she cried softly, her body shaking. She was so scared. She was so afraid he’d leave her. Like Ricardo said. He didn’t love her. No one ever would. She was only good at one thing and she should just stick to that one thing. His fingers ran through her hair, lips pressing to her head. She didn’t belong with him. Why wasn’t he telling her how stupid she was. How much she fucked up? How she should leave. She wasn’t even having his child. He should have told her that she should have just jumped off the ledge when she had the chance. He should be telling her how much he hated her. She was a dumb slut, why wasn’t he telling her that? She’s only ever been a whore. And it hasn’t changed. Why didn’t he see that?

Slowly, Asher pulled away, a hand digging into his pocket, the other holding her jawline so gently, wiping away what tears were left on her cheek. Slowly, he brought the lipstick to her lips, staying in the lines of her lips, doing a not so horrible job at applying the makeup when his face was so close to hers. He had to smile for her, hoping she would too, slowly, he capped the item, and placed it in her hand, “You left it in the car.” It was so dumb. She remembered it now. She was going to the doctor, and she had left it in the car because she didn’t have her purse that day. She was stupid. It was pointless to get into such trouble, Avery has fucked up. She was so upset at herself. So terrified. So hurt. She didn’t look much happier. Maybe even a little more sad, even. It was just left in the car, and she had done the one thing Asher didn’t want her to do just to find her red lipstick. Why hadn’t he yelled at her yet?

Asher notices how she wasn’t much better. His thumb rubbed her cheek more, and he kissed her, gently, tender with care. He held her close, and would continue to until she stopped crying.

[theirlosthope-2]

Moan!

SEND ME “MOAN” AND I’LL GENERATE A NUMBER! 

She wasn’t at all ready to go to bed. Neither of them were. It was late though, and they’d already been lying there for hours. His one arm wrapped around her, pulling Avery close to his chest as she rested her head on his shoulders. It had been silent, nothing but the hum of the heater warming their home and the faint sound of life down below on the streets. She was getting thirsty. Or maybe it was just the fact that she had been laying down for too long and just wanted to get up. So that’s what she did. She got up, got herself a glass of water, and came back into the bedroom, finding Asher to be sitting up, looking at her.

It startled her to say the least, almost dropping the cup as she stopped, “Asher?” She said in a hushed tone, walking quickly over to the bed after a few moments. Setting the cup on the nightstand she sat beside him, hands easily going to his shoulders, lips pressed against the bare skin. Her finger traced small patterns into his arm, and her doe eyes fluttered shut, humming into his arm in hopes it might sooth him back into their trace of non-slumber.

But it didn’t work. Instead, he turned, hand pressing against the nape of her neck, kissing her; gently but with an urgency that she wasn’t fully used to. His strong arm lowered her back down onto the bed, and although she was completely confused as to why he was acting like this, she went along with it. It would be wrong to turn down such affection. She liked it when Asher took charge like this. It meant she didn’t always have to do the work. 

Hands ghosted over her side, running over the curve of her breast, down the the hem of her shirt. Pulling at the fabric, she easily let it be tossed to the side. Well, if they couldn’t sleep, this was obviously a way to occupy their time instead of just laying there. And Asher didn’t ever fail to surprise her with random actions such as these. Blonde ringlets scattered on the mattress as she looked up to meet the blue eyes. They had one of those moments, communicating without words. Her thumb ran over his cheek, feeling the light stubble that would most likely be gone by tomorrow morning. In response, she would see his eyelashes flutter shut for a moment before he kissed her neck, leaving light mewls to leave Avery’s lips, fingers tangling in his mess of sandy hair. The kisses would soon travel down her collar bone, biting harshly at the spot Asher had learned about long ago. The one right above her right collar bone, where her toes would curl and her lips would part to moan his name, arching her back into his chest. He traveled further, in the gap between her breasts, moving gently over her stomach. The bump where the child was rapidly growing inside.

He’d kiss softly, intimately. Differently than another kiss let on her skin. It made her smile, her fingers loosening their grip on his hair as he kept going, further from her grip, her hands fell to the sheets. He kissed along the line of her underwear, the thin fabric preventing him from continuing further. So he removed them. Not even minded as he left them somewhere to be found in the morning. She wasn’t expecting his lips to delicately press to her center. Gasping, toes curling, fingers gripping the sheets as if she’d fall if she dare let go. 

His tongue traveled her inside, hands gripping at her thighs to hold her down. The withering Avery couldn’t really sit still. After all, no one ever really did this. It was all about pleasuring the other, and not herself. She would probably never get used to the feeling of lips working at her bundle of nerves, making her whimper and coo his name. Moaning in complete ecstasy, Asher was her god for the moment being. Complete worship as his tongue did magical things to her body. And he must not have even realized it. 

Avery would have still been confused in her mind wasn’t clouded in lust and pleasure from this. As surprising as it was, Asher was always doing something surprising like this. The clock glowed three twenty-four, and Avery wasn’t even paying attention to it, her eyes just looked through it was her breath hitched in her throat. His tongue would push into her entrance, hearing the quiet sighs and moans coming from Avery. She wanted to last as long as she could, but truth was she wasn’t able to last very long in general. His lips would close around her clit, and one last moan and Avery’s back would arch inches of the bed. Really she hadn’t felt like that in.. well, ever. 

She was lay there, eyes closed with her fingers running through the ends of Asher’s hair. She would say something, but she felt she didn’t. need to. He pulled away to leave small kisses up her thigh, Avery grabbing on of the sheet to pull over herself, felling her eyelids grow heavy.

He’d done a good job on getting her to go to sleep.

[theirlosthope-2]

Rain. [forced laughter in the background]

She kind of liked rain. At least, she liked being in it for the first minute or two, then she started to get wet so she didn’t like it anymore. And that’s sort of what happened. Avery and Asher had decided to go to that little restaurant that was just a few blocks from his apartment. She didn’t see the harm in just walking. It wasn’t all that far. And with much convincing to Asher, they did. 

They had made it only a block or two until it started to trickle. Little droplets falling on her blonde curls and she sighed, looking at the sky, lit by the orange glow of streetlamps. It didn’t take long till the sky decided it wanted to rain more, dumping the natural water on the two of them. It all of sudden got cold, her arms beginning to get soaked, and chilled. It took a few moments before she looked over at Asher, who wasn’t right beside her anymore. He was against the building a few feet away. His sandy hair sticking to his face as he looked… pained. So much pain that Avery felt the pain herself. You know, when you truly love someone, and whatever they feel is what you feel. That sixth sense sort of thing, “Asher…” She almost squeaked, walking up to him, wet hands, with the tips of her fingers already looking like dried raisins would reach up to cup his face, rubbing his jawline in a minor attempt to sooth him. It wasn’t working. She wanted to do something. She wanted to make him feel better but that look in her eyes was something she was so familiar with. The look of wanting nothing more than to put a bullet through you brain and just let go.

She didn’t ask him to tell her what was wrong, that was pointless. She knew better than that. But she never too her eyes off of him, trying to figure out what was wrong herself, “Asher…” She said, her tone rather terrified. Avery didn’t want to see him like this. She wanted to get some dinner and have a nice night. Like they were trying to do. She wanted to be normal now. No more pain. No more suffering. But that wasn’t ever going to happen. It was the two of them. Pain was always one their shoulders and scars didn’t ever fade. They were only deepened. The knife twisting in it’s spot rather than allowing it to heal, “Asher please,” She begged. As if he was being held in her arms and was bleeding to death. That pain she felt in her chest. She couldn’t do anything. She’d never be able to help him. She wanted to. She wanted to be the one to wrap up his wounds. But she never could. She didn’t belong with him. She wasn’t good enough. She’d always be this whore who fell in love with a man who far too good for her. A man who didn’t deserve any of this. 

She wanted to cry for his sake. She couldn’t help him. She wanted to be able to just know what was wrong. But she couldn’t, Avery was just a woman trying to her best. She didn’t know what was making him like this. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was her. She destroyed everything she touched. She was ruining everything. She told him, she’d just fuck up his life. But she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to be with him forever because while she fucked him up, he was slowly fixing her. 

She took his home. Walking through the rain with a hint of urgency because she just wanted to get home. Just to forget this night and get on with her life. They stepped in the door of the apartment building, Avery stopping. She was soaked. Dripping onto the small carpet that was under her feet. Her doe eyes would look at her feet, at the carpet, and to his feet, stepping closer to him to hug him tightly. Closing her eyes she spoke, “I’m trying,” Whispering into his shoulder, maybe he didn’t even hear. And she was. She was trying to hard. Avery just wanted him to love her. For him to be able to look at her and have that little sparkle in his eye like she had for him. She as trying so hard to make him a little less sad. She tried so hard.

[aequiilibrium]

fixatedaddict and ashingaway have sided with the damned; 

So once again he let his hunger get the best of him and now all the workers at the local mexican restaurant are a pile of bones he's hidden in the back of the place. So it's only fair that he takes on the role of working the front of the store right?

"Hi! Welcome to Mucho Burrito can I interest you in some churros?"

[xpathea]

Fear or love?