#asim tag

[wetbloodworm]

i'd said before that any musings about asim and achlys hooking up pre-skip weren't canon because they only got to the flirting stage before asim figured out the monster thing. but i'm changing my mind there. i think they DID hook up once or twice pre-skip. they weren't officially dating at that point but the two were very into each other. the biggest obstacles to getting them to hook up are 1) achlys is demirose and 2) asim was big focused on his exterminator job. but the two clicked and grew close quickly, so achlys fell a bit quicker and harder than usual here, enough for attraction to be a thing. and yeah asim didn't make a WHOLE lot of time for his personal life but he did make SOME time, he couldn't be working 24/7. he made enough time to make friends and get close with achlys in the first place, so like, that's fine. that's enough. so they were friends who fucked a couple times that had/were catching Feelings for each other before The Reveal. achlys was definitely a little in love before The Reveal, asim had a big fat crush and was willing to pursue things further.

then The Reveal happened and yeah they definitely stopped after that. achlys would've been happy to continue, if a little wary at first about getting together with an exterminator even if he likely didn't know how to kill him. it was asim who immediately put an end to things there. no WAY was he fucking a monster knowingly and he was mad that he had unknowingly. they were both hurting about this, though achlys was more aware of it since asim was more focused on feeling angry and on locking in on Dealing With the monster. achlys was absolutely heartbroken by having asim switch very quickly to hating him but he tried to be patient and understanding and tentatively show that he wasn't a real threat and could be trusted to not be murdered and that maybe they could still be friends? maybe? please? which didn't work out for him considering how things went down. so that contributed to him feeling hurt and betrayed by asim. but all this also contributed to him still having Feelings when he came back post-skip that made it a little easier to try to work past the hurt and anger eventually to try being friends again.

[wetbloodworm]

me looking at my drafts pondering whether to post this or not. fuck it, why not. more deacon in the cuck chair talk

so back to thinking about deacon in the cuck chair and about the conversation(s) surrounding the three doing this, and i just love the idea of asim being pedantic because he's autistic and can't help himself. at some point when deacon calls it the cuck chair asim going 'okay but like. that's not what it is. i'm dating achlys and neither of us are dating you, you're not getting cucked. you're just a voyeur in this scenario. it's the voyeur chair.' with achlys like 'sweetheart just how important are the semantics here' and deacon like 'more importantly 'voyeur chair' isn't as funny. also i feel a little weird being called a voyeur even if i guess that's accurate? i should unpack that' 'but being called a cuck is alright?' 'yeah that's fine'

then it just turns into the three having fun coming up with alternate names for what to call deacon and his chair in this scenario. options for the chair include the prohedria (achlys, for the ancient greek term for the front row seats in a theater where important people were sat), the peanut gallery/box seats (deacon, with the joking implication that he'll be heckling them over there statler and waldorf style), and the bench (asim, because deacon's not participating in the game, which leads to 'put me in, coach' jokes).

[wetbloodworm]

what does asim major in... i know he goes to college but what's his major. i know at first he's just doing it because it's a requirement for the sayed kids, he's going just to make his dad happy, but he fully intended to just Be An Exterminator. hang on i need to look at my timeline real quick. okay a couple hours have passed but i got the info i needed. also putting the rest under a cut

so yeah, all through asim's college career it was a Make My Dad Happy thing for him. i think it took him longer than four years to graduate because so much of his focus was on being an exterminator, sometimes he had to skip classes and sometimes he forgot about assignments or didn't have the time to study. i'm thinking about six years for him. which is about the time that he just starts having doubts about making exterminating his Whole Life; it'd still be another year before he really starts trying to untangle himself from being so completely wrapped up in that world. SO he graduates before all that, so whatever he majors in would be something he picked while thinking that he'd never use his degree. another problem was that he WAS so wrapped up in that world that he didn't make time for himself or really have any kind of idea of what else he'd like to DO.

i'm thinking he did what i did and just picked something relating to his interests with the idea of 'i can do this for now and i'll enjoy what i learn and i'm not gonna worry about what happens afterward'. and asim is a music boy! so i'd go with him being a music major with a focus on instrumental performance. i'm not sure if it'd be a BA or a BM he'd go for, my instinct is BM but i'm reading that that's more intensive when he's, again, not expecting to actually use the degree. so i don't know the specifics there but i'm content with just pointing in the direction of music.

after college, once he DOES realize that he wants to have a life outside of being an exterminator, and crucially has a worse relationship with the lifelong-insider side of his family which means less of an expectation of financial help from those who're specifically trying to support the ones who have the low/no-paying job of killing monsters. like yeah he's got his dad but once he's got it out of his head that his life calling is to kill monsters he feels less cool about being completely supported by him, especially without help from the rest of the family. SO. what does he DO.

what DOES asim do... well i don't think he'd have a career in music, though he started playing more for himself. he wouldn't want to be a teacher. and y'know what this post isn't about his job, i can end this now

[wetbloodworm]

thought progression: thinking about this one 'give your ocs ex-partners and friends' post -> i should give asim an ex-boyfriend or two or three -> i'm thinking one in high school, one in college, one post-college, one situationship post-college and some hookups scattered about -> thinking about his current dating situation with achlys -> i like the idea of past partners coming up because one that's just an interesting convo for me to think about and two it'd highlight the difference in their life experiences -> asim like 'well there was this guy and this one and this one, kinda another, here's what they were like, did some hookups around this time, etc' and achlys like 'i had a couple friends i hooked up with a few times and also i was married for 66 years' 'pardon' 'yeah! we had four kids' 'PARDON' -> i just like them talking and getting to know each other better :) -> anyway I'll think on asim's exes later

[wetbloodworm]

thinking about how asim looks after deacon during the full moon and wondering what that looks like. talking about how werewolves work in somaverse a bit here too

bullets time

first question is just how aware they are during transformations. i think at first, shortly after they've been bit, they're not aware like at all. they're disoriented and feral, and the transformation is painful so typically you add anger/agitation/panic on top of that. memories of the night are VERY hazy if there at all. the longer a person is a werewolf, though, the more accustomed they get to the transformations, and they start to become more cognizant in wolf form. it varies between individuals, but they can retain a bit more of themselves. they'll likely never be fully identical to their human selves, but they can get closer.

a part of the personality shift that comes with the transformation is a lack of inhibition. werewolves tend to be impulsive even when more in control of themselves, and more focused on base needs and desires. for newer werewolves, this often involves attacking any creature they see if they're even a little hungry, doesn't matter if it's bigger than them, doesn't matter if it has a weapon, doesn't matter if it fights back. a lot of werewolves get injured or killed earlier on because they just don't think, they want something and they Do It, or they simply React, and it makes it easy for exterminators to be alerted to werewolf activity in the area.

increased aggression and emotional volatility is also part of it. werewolves are rarely completely safe to be around. gotta be careful.

i'm also deciding that there's like. just so much energy. werewolves wanna get out and run and be wild. another reason why they get caught by exterminators; people who transform rarely feel content just hanging out in wolf form at their house or whatever. they gotta Get Outta There. break down a door and find the nearest woods.

i don't think werewolves are capable of speech. they can understand whatever they'd understand in human form, at least if they're more aware, but they can't talk back.

when deacon becomes a werewolf, it's not even a question that asim is gonna help him out during his transformations. most of it is just wanting to keep his best friend safe and others safe from his best friend, but a part of it is also like. if he didn't, his mom/mom's side of the family would 100% kill deacon. it's a struggle to get them to not either way. asim has to swear up and down that he'll keep deacon from hurting anyone and that he knows it's completely on him if he does to get his family to agree to back off (with the caveat that they're fucking watching).

what IS a question is like. h... how. how do you do this. asim's in the business of killing monsters, not babysitting them. i'm sure he's not the first person to try to keep a werewolf contained rather than just killing them, so he could find SOME kind of resources/info out there with the right kind of digging. there might even be some lore from werewolves themselves documenting their experiences. asim and deacon would do some research together. they'd do a lot of research together actually, though tbh it might be hard to get deacon to stay on task because he just learned monsters are real and he wants to read about ALL OF THEM. like yes his personal problem is pretty pressing and he IS worried about that but like if he finds a link to a cool blog about vampires or whatever... it's fine he can take just a minute or ten to check that out too

i think asim's first solution is to rent out a storage unit, put up a webcam inside to keep an eye on deacon, and park himself outside overnight. it's not ideal because other people could come around and hear the noise coming from the container, so that's not great. not to mention the first time they try this deacon absolutely trashes the hell out of the place trying to get out. they both have to pay for damages that they struggle to explain. but like, it was the best solution he could come up with on a time crunch.

eventually the two buy a small cabin way out of the way, potentially with asim's dad's financial help. spend a good chunk of time werewolf-proofing the place as best they can. don't care if it gets torn up, but gotta make sure deacon can't get out, and gotta make sure that asim can keep an eye on him without putting himself at risk of getting bitten.

as deacon gets a bit more of a feel for how everything works, he makes it part of his monthly routine to just absolutely gorge himself on food before night falls. if he's not hungry he's a LITTLE less restless, and at least less likely to try to more aggressively seek food. he tried tiring himself out too but that didn't work, still full of energy, just also cranky.

over time deacon becomes less of a flight risk, as he gains more control over himself. doesn't try to get out the boarded-up windows or the reinforced doors, at least not most of the time. he gets Aware enough to be able to tell himself that he needs to Stay Put, and he's absolutely restless and unhappy but can restrain himself enough to not fucking throw himself full-force at the doors or whatever. still tears shit up trying to vent his energy, he's not just going to curl up nicely on the floor and sleep all night, he's going to bite and scratch and throw things around and run around the space and howl and whine and snarl. feels bad being trapped! but with enough practice he can work up the strength to put up with it. i do say 'most of the time' though because he's not perfect, and coming into the night after different days with different mindsets can affect how he behaves during the transformation. bad day? angry wolf boy.

i think a thing that helps deacon a little as he gets more used to the transformations is asim talking to him through the door of the room he's camped out in. deacon's never 100% safe to be around so they're always separated, but asim's always Right There. in the cabin i think asim just takes over the bedroom, which is just as boarded up as the rest of the place only asim's got the key. but yes anyway the talking. i think he stays quiet at first so as not to draw attention to himself and get deacon riled up trying to get at a specific target. it's probably later on, as deacon starts remembering a tiny bit more and settling down a bit during his transformations, and he mentions that one reason why it's hard to settle down is that he gets so bored. so one night when deacon wanders closer to the bedroom asim tries talking to him through the door. like uh. hey man. do you. do you want to me to read you something. i've got some monster books here. i think you've read these already but you reread shit all the time. and at first i think deacon, who's only like half-aware that someone was there in the first place, is more Curious and focused on sniffing the door and scratching at it, but he doesn't try too aggressively to get in and it occupies him for at least a while. and over time he starts listening to asim more, and starts remembering that asim is there and seeking out the bedroom to park himself outside and growl until asim starts talking to him. asim reading or chatting or whatever is something he can focus on, ground himself with. and it's nice. less lonely.

i really like the idea of deacon and asim like... not just escape-proofing the cabin, but also trying to provide like. enrichment? kinda. things for deacon to DO. i love them pouring over like... resources on enrichment for wolves in zoos etc and trying that out. hey d how do you feel about me buying some puzzle balls for you. bring in an old tire for him to chew on. dab scented oils and stuff around the place for him to seek out and roll around on. they try a small pool once and deacon enjoys it but he also rips through the side so that's a one-time thing. hide meat snacks around the place but definitely try to remember where they hide all of it so there's not leftover meat rotting in the cabin until the next month. it snows one moon and during the afternoon they just bring in a whole bunch for him. all kinds of stuff.

[wetbloodworm]

i greatly prefer having asim and deacon's canon relationship be platonic but, on occasion, it's fun to rotate a romantic/sexual element between them. which i bring up specifically to say that i saw a post about 'what does the person in the cuck chair do, clap and cheer? / they take notes / no they make shonen anime commentary' and my immediate instinct was to imagine deacon in the cuck chair doing all of the above while watching asim and achlys. and like, yeah, if he WERE in the cuck chair i think he'd have fun with it. at the very least he'd be chatting the whole time; deacon doesn't shut up very well. both just the kind of to-himself commentary sort of thing and actively talking to the other two. i don't think asim or achlys would expect anything different and really they'd both be down for whatever deacon wants to do over there. the two also tend to talk a bit when they bang so it wouldn't be weird for them to have another friend to chat with. also deacon makes them both laugh, that'd just be a fun time!

[wetbloodworm]

thinking on achlys' and asim's early post-skip dynamic. i've made achlys too reasonable and chill in the face of trauma/being betrayed and i'm fixing that.

now thinking i want to fall somewhere between the original 'achlys is seconds away from murdering asim' and the later 'achlys is upset about the being imprisoned thing but upon learning asim didn't know about the imprisoning thing is mostly chill with him' re: their initial reunion post-skip

like, okay, yes, asim didn't know cash was going to capture achlys so he was an unwitting accomplice to that aspect, that's true. but. uh. he DID think cash was going to kill him. killing him was the plan. like he actively reached out to cash for help with killing him. so, like... achlys would probably still be mad about that lmao. sure sure he could try to be reasonable and understand that asim is an exterminator who saw a monster who has eaten people and was just trying to do the right thing, but! he thought the right thing was killing achlys! achlys takes issue with that!! he knows that eating people Isn't Great, he'll admit to that, but that doesn't mean he's gonna agree that murdering him is the appropriate response. of course he'd be mad at asim. bitch tried to kill him. bitch tried to kill him while achlys was actively trying to make peace and show that he wasn't a threat.

part of what got me to the point of reconsidering this is feeling like... i need my characters to be messier. i need them to be less nice all the time and less understanding and less controlled and etc etc etc. also part of me misses the bit from one of the first somaverse arts where achlys is grabbing asim by the throat and squeezing like he's a squeaky toy while telling him he's lucky he's not more vengeful lmao bring just a fraction of that energy back....

so achlys spent a decade alone with his thoughts coping by, amongst other methods, fantasizing revenge plots against cash and asim, though the ones involving asim were mixed because he had feelings for the guy. equal parts furious and hurt/betrayed by the whole thing. he came out of his imprisonment swinging and, since cash was right there and he had the opportunity, he got his revenge there immediately. eating cash's soul meant absorbing his memories so he DID get more context on asim's involvement. details like how asim didn't know capturing and using him was cash's actual plan, and how asim had seemed conflicted on occasion in a way that might imply that he recognized achlys' personhood in a way cash didn't. but he also saw how asim was the one to reach out to cash, and how he went through the job fully intent on killing achlys.

i think initially achlys was still locked in on More Revenge, and immediately got to work on finding where asim ended up after all this time. he was traumatized and hurt and angry and asim tried to kill him, thought he DID kill him. he wanted to hurt him back.

but it takes time to find a person and make arrangements to get over to them when they're out of state and you're working with human limitations, so achlys had time outside of his imprisonment to start to settle down, like, a LITTLE. achlys isn't a bloodthirsty person, he doesn't relish in hurting others. it's not in his nature. and like, he did have feelings for asim before all this that weren't totally gone. he had no positive associations with cash and cash had done worse things knowingly, no regrets about eating him, but asim. asim was different. with a little time to think achlys started to be less gung-ho about the whole thing. gets on a plane or whatever to make his way towards where he figured out asim should be, fully intent on hunting him down and eating him, but then he's forced to sit quietly with his thoughts in a less oppressive setting than he'd spent the last decade and by the time he gets to the location he's like okay. shit. okay. maybe i DON'T eat him. i still hunt him down but i don't eat him. maybe i just yell at him. or push him in front of a car. i don't know. i need SOMETHING but maybe i don't erase him from existence completely.

i think he still confronts asim the way i'd more recently envisioned, where he just kind of shows up one day like HI SWEETHEART. LET'S TALK. i like it being... not the most well-thought-out approach, in like. he could've planned this out better. as far as he knows asim is still an exterminator who hates monsters and knows how to trap him at least if he hasn't also learned how to kill him in the last decade. also the last time he saw him asim had magical protection that made achlys' soul-grabbing abilities useless, which is his #1 defense and offense. really, it'd be smarter for achlys to just leave the exterminator alone completely and go start over living his new life safely where people don't know what he is. barring that, there are certainly other approaches he could take to make himself safer if that confrontation is really important to him (it is). but i think the most thought-out the plan gets is achlys being like 'i'll approach him in public so we both have to be at least somewhat restrained around a bunch of outsiders, that way he can't attack me and i can't attack him if i swing back around to wanting that more in the moment. we can find somewhere more private to talk if he'll agree to that and if he does i'll make sure he doesn't have the time/space to set up things to capture/kill me, and if he doesn't i'll just air out my grievances there in front of god and everybody, outsiders or no. i can make a fucking scene if he won't play along. if worse comes to worse i can just abandon this body and try again. would hate to eat another person this quickly but i don't CARE right now i NEED to confront him it is like 90% of what i've thought about for the last ten years'

achlys lucks out in that asim has calmed down re: monsters in the last decade and is willing to play along to a degree to avoid causing a scene and also because uh he thought this guy was dead and that's A Lot To Process and okay maybe he can see why he'd Want To Talk, and asim lucks out in that 1) he still has magical protection and 2) he's physically stronger than achlys in this form so that when achlys sees him and his rage spikes up again he still has to be restrained for his own personal safety.

yelling at asim is definitely cathartic to a degree though it doesn't make the hurt go away like achlys wants it to. part of the problem is that achlys doesn't know what WILL make the hurt go away, because tbh nothing is gonna do that. asim i think is sympathetic to a degree, especially upon learning what cash ACTUALLY did if it wasn't killing this guy, but he's still Extremely Wary because this is a monster that feels he wronged him (and y'know what, yeah, he can see why he'd be mad) and is like. visibly trying not to launch himself at him. the confrontation goes without anyone getting hurt but there's definitely no, like, 'we're chill now right?' on either side afterward.

i think achlys leaves the confrontation intending to just put a lot of distance between them, go back to maverick's home to try to start his new life away from the exterminator who wanted to kill him (though maybe he seemed less intent on that this time). i think he DID go back to maverick's home, actually. this would be the point when he'd be more actively trying to make himself just. Get Over It. you can still be mad at asim but you can't eat him and really you shouldn't hurt him at all even if part of you really wants to. you have to be the bigger person here. it SUCKS to be the bigger person but just. get over it. Get Over It. Move On. and like of course achlys isn't fully successful at that lmao but he does move the idea of revenge over to 'coping fantasy' vs 'legitimate desire'. he tries to fully settle into maverick's life to start untangling it from the new life he wants to lead, like he usually does with new hosts.

only, like. a few problems. he hadn't been able to really plan how to untangle things because there was no chance to vet maverick as a host at all like he'd been able to before, maverick was just There. and he didn't know what exactly he WANTED. all he'd wanted the last decade was to be free or in worse moments to just fucking die to at least be free that way, and now he WAS free and that was GREAT but. now what does he do with that. he doesn't have a PLAN. not to mention that Getting Over It wasn't working out as smoothly as he'd like. not to mention he still couldn't stop thinking about asim. still in an angry way, but as he was trying to calm himself down there, maybe. maybe like. asim was the last thing/person to be really important to him last time around. maybe there were still Feelings there. maybe when his thoughts turned to asim he still felt that kind of aching in his chest through the anger. AND ALSO LIKE, god damn it, last time he'd been all set up to live his life in that one area of the world that asim still lived and he LIKED that area and maybe he wanted to try to get back even a piece of what he'd had before it was taken away from him. he hadn't been ready to give up his life last time, hadn't made peace with it like he did before. he wanted SOMETHING to be like it was before the Big Bad Thing Happened.

achlys likes to plan things out but he can also be impatient and, well, if he didn't have time before taking over maverick to plan things out, fuck it. fuck it. maybe he just wings it this time. and maybe he still wasn't doing all that well post-trauma and he was acting impulsively as he just grabbed maverick's/his stuff and went right back to asim's town to grab a long-term hotel as he worked on getting an apartment. wasn't sure what he'd do there but he'd figure things out.

idk yet if he specifically finds asim again or if they just kind of stumble upon each other and asim is like 'wtf why are you back' and achlys is like 'I LIVED HERE BEFORE AND I'LL LIVE HERE AGAIN YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME TOO' and asim is like 'shit jeez okay okay yeah'. asim definitely wary about having achlys around because, again, he directly lead to him getting imprisoned and clearly he wasn't taking that well, just how much danger is he in exactly. is he... should he like. DO anything about the monster that's back in town. achlys is just gonna keep eating souls, he has to, but at least right now it'll just be little bits like he was taking before, so like. no IMMEDIATE severe threat to humanity, right?

idk how they get to hanging out in a more chill way. i think achlys does just kind of show up every now and then as he gets more settled. maybe they frequent the same places, and if that's the case i think achlys starts going there on purpose to see asim and feel his complicated feelings. and as time goes on and he does start to settle down more, starts putting his anger aside a bit more successfully, he starts. wanting that connection again. asim seemed more reasonable this time around, things would never be like they were but. again, achlys was looking for things he'd lost, and he'd certainly lost asim, and damn it he'd MISSED asim despite it all. also asim got even hotter in the last decade and maybe that was a piece of it maybe.

ACTUALLY hmmmmm i kind of like the idea of like... achlys actually connecting with deacon first. like deacon reaching out to befriend him before achlys and asim get more comfortable around each other. deacon re-meeting him and being told who he was now that he can know these things as an insider, and deacon being real happy that his friend his still alive and also kinda jazzed because MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTER HE CAN TALK TO, MONSTER THAT'S A SPECIES THAT'S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO FIND AND TALK TO IN MOST CASES. FRIEND LET'S HANG OUT AND ALSOOO MAYBE IF YOU'RE FEELING IT WE CAN TALK MONSTER STUFF A LITTLE BIT, MAYBE? IF YOU'RE FEELING IT. I'LL BRING A NOTEPAD JUST IN CASE.

and like, deacon didn't hurt achlys. achlys has no beef with him. apparently he's an insider + somewhat an exterminator now, but deacon is so incredibly earnest and achlys just likes the guy, so. uh. yeah. yeah sure he'll hang out if he's gonna be cool about the monster stuff. especially if he doesn't seem to have one of those magical protection amulets so achlys has his #1 defense in his back pocket if deacon tries anything. which he doesn't, of course, deacon just really wants to be friends again.

i also like the idea of ayda and achlys being friends too before asim and achlys lol deacon inviting achlys to hang out and being like 'oh ayda will be there btw' and achlys like '......is SHE cool about the monster thing or like--' 'oh yeah yeah yeah don't worry about that all she's not even an exterminator it's totally fine' so those two get to hang out as well!! they didn't get a WHOLE lot of time to hang out pre-skip, ayda was 12 at the time, but they knew each other from achlys coming over to the house to hang with asim and ayda being interested in her brother's friends. but they get to be friends this time. ayda would be firm at first like 'hey i know my brother fucked you over but you're not going to try any shit there, right?' because she's happy to make friends but her brother being safe is her first priority. and maybe achlys doesn't talk about how he still thinks about hurting asim sometimes to try to make himself feel better and is instead just like 'yeah no i'm not gonna try any shit there. i wouldn't say we're cool just yet but he's safe'. and ayda like 'okay cool now let's hang'.

i'm losing steam on this post but combo achlys putting himself places where he has the chance to be around asim + achlys integrating himself with asim's friend group purely out of desire to be friends with them has the two encountering each other more, enough for them both to start to. unclench a bit. achlys gets less frigid, make fewer snarky comments. actively decides to start making peace at one point. and asim also trying to make peace, both for the sake of his friend + sister and because. maybe he'd also had feelings for this guy in return, and maybe he saw that he hurt him even if he'd felt it was justified at the time, and maybe it'd be kinda nice to smooth things out a bit there if not even be friends again in time. and like, yeah, those two get real gay for each other again quickly enough lmao it just takes longer to get there than i'd previously planned.

okay post over

[wetbloodworm]

deciding on a design for the engraving on asim's amulet. just a simple witch knot. the design itself has no magical significance, it's just a symbol to help identify it as a thing that protects; there are all kinds of protection symbols used on others of the same type of amulet. sometimes no symbol at all, or there could be a completely unrelated design to mask it. the important stuff is what's inside, as there's more under the gold plating. i'm thinking it being made of like black tourmaline or something with a hollow center where there's more carvings and potentially other materials. that's what actually powers it. the Important Stuff is kept on the inside for well-crafted amulets, because if the carvings or materials get fucked you run the risk of the magic getting fucked as well.

cash is the one who gave asim the amulet, and he bought it from an artificer or something, so that person is the one who picked the external design. just their personal style/preference. asim doesn't mind the design, the design isn't the point of it, though it's gotten him misidentified as wiccan before.