#ask event 002

[ritualove]

for lorelei -> How do you feel about giving or receiving Valentine’s Day cards?

Lorelei's work as a florist is mostly with flowers, however there is a healthy amount of cards in the store that typically accompany the bouquets that go out the door. She has never received or given a Valentine's day card, all of her previous relationships were either over before the holiday, or too early days for a card to be appropriate. She does wish that one day someone would send her a card, adorned with a spritz of perfume and a mark of lipstick on the inside. That's just the romantic in her.

[ritualove]

for silas -> What is the worst breakup you've ever gone through? Is it different from the worst heartbreak you've experienced?

Silas' worst breakup is much more different from his worst heartbreak. Silas' worst breakup happened soon after he first moved to New York City. He had gotten a new partner, a woman by the name of Sofia. Silas had decided to break things off with Sofia, and she was very upset about it, and threw all his stuff on the lawn. His lawn also happened to be the New York City streets, over 20 stories down. In retrospect he kind of deserved it, but it was a very awkward, and extremely pricey situation.

His worst heartbreak however was when he got divorced. It did start with some vitriolic arguments, but then it dragged on with the legal proceedings, and his soon-to-be now ex-husband was devastatingly respectful through the proceedings. Sitting opposite the person who was once the love of his life and needing to talk to each other through their respective lawyers hurt. A lot.

[ritualove]

for sabine -> What’s something you’ve learned from your closest friends?

Sabine has probably called thousands of people a friend throughout her life, but there are very few that she would actually trust. Many people in her past have only associated themselves with her just to get something from her. Since living in Cardinal Hill though, she has actually been able to form friendships with people that want to be around her just because they want to be around her. The lesson hasn't entirely been internalised, but she's started to learn that she is actually worth more than how she can benefit other people.

[ritualove]

for alma -> How do you know when you're ready to start dating again after a breakup?

Alma has never been in a relationship. Luckily, because of her good mormon upbringing, she will eventually find a husband, have a 3-7 children, and never need to worry about breaking up.

Totally.

Right?

[ritualove]

For Sabine- What’s the most romantic gesture someone has ever done for you?

Sabine's first and so far only major relationship was not always as abusive as it turned out to be. Priscilla, Sabine's abusive ex, was actually an art critic who was, according to her at the time, a very big fan of Sabine's work. They met at one of Sabine's very early, very small, and very underwhelming shows, and Priscilla was such an intimidating prescence that showed so much kindness to her. After they started dating, Priscilla started to 'help' Sabine with her artwork getting exposure. The most romantic gesture in Sabine's memory was when Priscilla organised an art exhibit for her, it wasn't that large, and didn't get much publicity before or after, but it had canapés. Seeing people walk around with plates, offering small treats to the viewers, was one of the happiest moments of her life. Sometime's she thinks back to that moment and smiles. Whenever she catches herself smiling, she can't help but feel disgusted in herself, feeling like she dosen't know better. Feeling like she would inevitably be caught into a similar situation.

[ritualove]

For Alma: How has your family influenced your ideas about love and relationships?

TW: Religion, Homophobia

Alma's family have been extraordinarily influential in her ideas about love and relationships, in that she has almost completely shut out that aspect of her life, and varies from being uncomfortable to talk about it, to feeling disgusted and ashamed. Her sister, Maxine, is the only exception.

Growing up in as a Mormon, Alma has always been taught the importance of marriage, and finding a good husband and having kids. This was all well and good, until she met Clara York in the second grade. Simply put, Alma was infatuated, following her around the playground at a distance, peeking out at her from corners, stumbling over her words and getting sweaty palms whenever they were assigned to group discussions. When she moved back to England in the fourth grade, Alma was devastated. Alma has never directly talked about her with anyone, but when she not-so subtly dropped hints about loving a girl like she loves a boy, it didn't turn out well.

She has been very firmly taught that love is a sacred thing between a man and a woman, and not much beyond that, especially not about the more intimate parts of relationships. She also knows not to bring it up at home after the infrequent fights between Maxine and their father about Maxine's sexuality and prefrences, amongst other un-mormonlike proclivities.

Maxine has tried to reach out to Alma to talk about her love life, but Alma almost always tries to change the subject. Alma will try not to talk about relationships, or romance, or love, and especially not intimacy. She is curious though, about what it's like, and sometimes her mind starts to wander. This always leads to an extra long prayer at the end of the day.

[ritualove]

For Sabine: What’s something you wish you’d known about heartbreak before you experienced it?

TW: Emotional Abuse, Abandonment, Drug Use

Sabine's relationship with love is a difficult one. She has only really had one partner, one that mattered, Priscilla. Sabine was with her for 7 years of her life, and throughout all those 7 years Priscilla used every manipulative trick in the book to tear any semblance of independence from Sabine, and that was before introducing her to more and more extreme drugs. She broke her down into a shell of human being, barely able to tell when one day would start and one would end. Then one day, after the biggest event of Sabine's life was ruined, Priscilla was no where to be found, anywhere, ever again.

Sabine wishes she knew anything about love before it was used against her. She wishes she knew her heart would be broken at all before it happened. She wishes she can remember anything about it for certain. Sabine wishes she wasn't the only one to walk away hurt. After everything, Sabine just wishes she knows if she actually has any heart left to break, or if it was all ground into dust when Priscilla left. She wishes she knew if she actually had any heart before, or if it was ripped out of her chest during some bender years before hand.

Sabine dosen't even know if she had any heart before she met Priscilla.

Sabine just wants to know whether or not she has any heart left.

[ritualove]

For Leslie: How do you balance making time for friends with other priorities in your life?

Leslie's job gives her the privileged position of being able to make her own hours, to an extent. Working as the curator of an archive means the only person she reports to is miles away Washington's capital, Olympia. The sensitivity of the work relating to witch craft means they don't need any sort of reporting often. So, as long as Leslie gets her work done by some deadline, she is free to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Despite this advantage, Leslie dosen't actually have much friends, so it wouldn't have been a problem anyway. Her co-workers are friendly however, so it's not all bad.