karnia i read your story and i really like it. could i askf or your advice? i just turned seventeen and my boyfriend is really pressuring me to have sex with him fo rthe first time. he says were old enough but i just dont feel ready. but he just keeps asking. its really beginning to upset me. how can i talk to him?
It is never okay in any way, shape, or form for someone to pressure another person into having sex with them. Your boyfriend needs to get that through his head because he is making your relationship an unsafe space for you. If he keeps asking despite you saying no, I’m not exactly sure that you can talk to him and make him understand. But even so, communicate with him.
If you feel talking to him is a must, express that he is deeply upsetting you by not respecting your boundaries. Make it clear there will be consequences on your relationship if he does not stop. However, personally, what I would do? I’d dump his ass very quickly.
If he hasn’t accepted no and he just keeps asking, he does not respect you, your comfort, or your emotional safety. He should understand and respect that you are not ready to take that step yet and he should be patient. If it is meant to happen, it will happen on its own time. If this boyfriend is above eighteen I really urge you to get away from him because you are still a minor and he is not. Believe it or not, this can create a very real power imbalance.
Truthfully, I want you to be very careful. If you have anyone you can talk to about this and trust, tell them what is happening. If you have a good relationship with your parents, talk to them. Ask for their help. Your safety is what matters most. If not your parents, just try to think of an adult that you trust to keep you safe. Perhaps an older sibling, friend, cousin, or someone else that you know will have your back.
Good luck. Remember, there is no reason you need to rush into anything. Do what is best for you.
