Ask Snackhole - Family drama
Recently a friend and accomplished snacker wrote to me with a problem. A big problem though, thankfully, not all too uncommon.
Michelle wrote:
Dear snackhole, I am writing to ask your advice on a matter that causes great debate in our household; bag chips - who owns the rights to the stray chips left in the bag that have fallen out of the cartons??? I know that you are a busy snacker, but I'd really appreciate your expert opinion on this matter, it's tearing our family apart. Is it first come first served? Do you asses the loss of chips in each individual carton and award bag chips to the one with the lowest level? Do they belong to the one who pays for the meal? Or the one who hands everything out?? What is the bag chip etiquette? Is there one? Please help!
Michelle,
Thank you for having the courage to come forward about this painful problem. Know that you are not alone. Far from it, in fact. Almost every Australian family struggles with the issue of bag chips (henceforth known as bag fries to avoid confusion) at some point, but almost all families feel this is some kind of secret shame, internalising the problem and blaming themselves. I am here to tell you now, Michelle, that this is not your fault. The sad fact of the matter is, like RSVP-ing and the circumstances under which you send a thank you card, the teaching of bag fries etiquette has largely gone the way of the dodo. However, while this is a complex issue, there is an accepted, multi-step process of resolving bag fries ownership issues, which I have outlined below. 1) Assess ownership of the bag contents - Has an agreement been entered into prior to receiving the bag that the food contained therein belongs to multiple parties? If parties have all requested their preferred menu item and that has been agreed upon and purchased, shared ownership is implied. It is important to note, however, that if the food is purchased under the condition that other parties must do something in order to receive the food requested, it could conceivably be considered that all food in the bag belongs to the purchaser until such time that other parties have lived up to their end of the bargain. 2) If you have purchased the food and shared ownership does not yet apply, then you go ahead and eat those bag fries. Unless, of course, you were provided with money by a third party to purchase the food on their behalf, in which case the bag fries are theirs until such time that shared ownership applies. 3) If shared ownership applies, then bag fries should be apportioned according to loss from individual packets. This can be difficult where packets are of differing sizes, but I go by the rule that they should be proportionately full. However, there is a final proviso under which the fries may well be back up for grabs. 4) Fries can be considered res nullius (owned by no one) if they have been abandoned by their owner. This would include their owner declaring the fries are unwanted or the owner scuttling off to enjoy their meal without claiming their share of the bag fries. Res nullius then allows anyone to claim ownership, meaning s/he who claims ownership of the res nullius fries first gets them. So there you have it. The accepted method of determining bag fries ownership. Or you could battle for the bag fries on Mario Kart, at which point even if you lose you get the smug satisfaction of knowing that the fries are now cold and stale, and so is your competitor's victory.
All the best, Michelle. I know you can do this.