#askage

[taub-truther]

veryyyyy random question but do you have any song you associate with taub? :P

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy

Here's a bunch of em 😈

[taub-truther]

Hey did you know that Taub

haha, nice fake video, but you'll have to do better than that. I know Taub, and I know in my heart he would NEVER condone drug use or do a single cocaine even if he was curious (which he's not!!!!)

Honestly some people just hate to see a short king winning. Taub has always been so swagful and effortlessly cool and ethical and in control of his life, and y'all just want to tear him down for it. But you'll never succeed.

Try to cancel him all you want! Everyone knows that the haters are just jealous of his luscious head of hair.. sad really.

[taub-truther]

May I ask you about fave canon taubner moments and your taubner headcanons? :3

hi anon! So, my fave moment between Taub and Kutner is, of course, the moment when they got the absolute shit scared right out of them in the morgue

Just... the fact that their first instincts are to absolutely cling to each other??

That Taub instantly tucks his arm around Kutner's and runs away dragging Kutner back with him?? (maybe he was trying to hide behind Kutner and Kutner wouldn't let him 😭💀)

And then Kutner wraps his other arm around Taub as if his folder is a shield??

It's just goofy and fun and like five seconds of screen time! Love it.

Now I can't say I have a ton of headcanons for these two, or any pairing really, since I don't consider myself a Taub shipper in general, but if I were to speculate, I'd say:

Kutner actually has the most profound positive influence on the way Taub conducts himself for the rest of the series after Kutner's death. That relationship had to mean a lot to him.

I also think Taub is perpetually haunted by what could have been. What if he hadn't brushed off this other man when he tried to reach out? What if they had spent more time together? What if they had developed a meaningful connection beyond acting as each other's workplace psychoanalysts?

If they had actually taken the time to hang out, they would have had so much fun together! We know Taub and Foreman spent a lot of time gaming together, watching sports, etc. You're gonna tell me Kutner wouldn't have loved to geek out over Dr. Who right alongside Taub?? Their hangouts would have been lovely! And if other stuff happens, well. That's okay too 😌

At some point Kutner would have absolutely brought Taub along to a family function during Taub's sad bachelor phase... and I get the sense the Kutners would've loved him. "You should invite your friend over for dinner again sometime!"

I could see Taub reverting a bit to his college self when he's hanging out with Kutner. He loves the feeling, but Kutner recognizes that it's probably not all that good for him, so he tries to mix in some grownup shit for them to do, just to keep Taub properly socialized.

[taub-truther]

I need more posts with Taub or PJ 🥹🥹🥹 miss you buddy

Aww thanks buddy!! 😭😭

I haven't been on Tumblr much lately but my love for our little man is still burning strong... ❤️‍🔥 Here have a random PJ from my phone!

[taub-truther]

is there a universe where taub fucks amber?

In my heart there is absolutely a universe where Amber gets bored and hate-fucks Taub (early on in the competition I would think, going off their hate-flirting). They'd just be this meme:

He would never be the same and she would absolutely hold it over his head to blackmail him whenever it was expedient. She'd forget about him completely after a while (maybe because Wilson comes along) and Taub would be lowkey losing his mind over her, but for obvious reasons can't say a single word about it.

It would also be super funny if Taub got eliminated from the competition because of this in some way. Once again his dick ruins his life.

[taub-truther]

we need to put that man in a Situation

Well what do we think fellas?

Let's put Taub in:

a hamster ball

a headlock

the microwave

a leather miniskirt and thigh high boots

a warm fuzzy blankie

the middle of a lake

Voting ended onNov 15, 2024

[taub-truther]

would you please grant us some more delicious taub headcanons

AAAAA yes SO happily!! Some things I've been pondering on here and there (spoilers ahead):

Taub is clinically depressed and has GAD. He treats his conditions with medication but keeps making excuses not to go to therapy. He thinks he should be smart enough to figure it out on his own, and he rationalizes his way out of it. Plus, who has the time, right?

In med school, he experienced a wicked case of Gifted Kid Burnout. He mentions being Class President in high school, and we know his CV is stacked as hell (prestigious publications, humanitarian work, etc.) to the point that Foreman, Mr Type-A himself, is completely blown away. Yet Taub is ashamed of it because he feels he never lived up to that potential. Sounds like a classic case of burnout. He was (and still remains deep down) an idealistic kid who wanted to change the world because it was his calling, his responsibility, as a Special Smart Boy (ie his god complex). But at some point he hit a wall and never fully recovered. This is one of the reasons behind his suicide attempt.

His ongoing issues stem once again from this central feeling of failure, of not being Enough. He insists he had a pretty happy childhood, normal parents who are still together etc., and thus feels like there's no "reason" for him to feel this way. Yet he does. And for the record, the life of a Gifted Kid with all the potential in the world can absolutely crush you under the weight of expectation, which is what happened to him.

His "backup career" as a plastic surgeon could be fulfilling because he did feel like he was helping people and had a measurable level of material success/status. But it also messed with his physical esteem. The nose, the height, the hairline, he's heard it all and while he acts like he's above being bothered, he's absolutely racked with insecurities.

So if he feels he doesn't "measure up" (literally or figuratively) what does a little man with an inferiority complex do? Cope, baby! He compulsively finds tangible ways to seek out approval of himself as a man, and I think his cheating stems from this existential discontent. He needs to prove to himself that he's wanted and good at something. Turns out what he's good at is sex. (As House himself says, uhh his nose ain't the only thing that's big. 🤐)

But obviously the validation of proving his own desirability comes with the flipside of crushing guilt, and that's where Taub's ability to rationalize anything really save his ass... at least until the Porsche incident which proves even in his own mind that Rachel is simply a better partner than he deserves. The cycle of failed expectations continues to grind Taub beneath its millstone.

[taub-truther]

Pookie

Do you have some taubman headcanons you would like to share with us?

Excellent question! Taubman, that most elusive of ships.

So, as I've mentioned in other posts, I don't necessarily ship Taub with anybody specifically (even though I did sorta talk myself into hate-shipping him and Amber because of their rancid flirtations), but going from canon, I have a few thoughts about what Taub and Foreman would have been like (especially in their roomie stage):

First of all, they absolutely hooked up in the file room when they were both high on Vicodin. That little sparring exchange turned into some chasing turned into some rasslin... and we all know how gay that is (shoutout to my fellow wrestling marks out there). They both used the "i was high" excuse to themselves afterward, but these things have a way of slipping back to the surface.

When they moved in, they clearly had a lot of fun bro-ing around together, watching sports, playing video games, etc. But at the end of the night, it always seemed like an intricate little dance of "who's going to bed first, how close are we sitting, will we end up drifting off on the couch tonight?" etc.

One night Foreman can't sleep, so he joins Taub for 3am Dr Who watching. He enjoys the noise and company and distraction, but unlike Taub, he does NOT enjoy the show itself. It doesn't take long for him to pass out. Taub notices right away, but he just sorta... lets himself drift off right next to Foreman. When they wake up, Taub's head is in Foreman's lap and they don't make eye contact for a couple of days.

I genuinely think they both have to be either drunk or high again for another actual hookup to happen (again, just going off how repressed they can both act in canon, they both seem like comphet bisexual dudes). But when it does, they both react very differently. Foreman is pretty chill about it. Stuff happens sometimes between bros, that's fine. But Taub... he panics. I think that's why he kept bringing Rachel around to the apartment. That couch was the space where he and Foreman experienced a lot of, er, closeness, so what better place to reassert his straightness (not only to Foreman, but to himself) than the very spot those urges from the lockdown resurfaced?

Foreman is, as always, outwardly very unbothered by any of this. He buries his emotions so deep he has himself convinced that he could never be hurt by it. He was only ever doing a favor for a friend, a co-worker. But it's interesting that he gets involved with that woman who is cheating on her husband and prefers for it to remain illicit. Maybe it reminds him of someone?