#askflightybroad

[askflightybroad]

What are your thoughts on Christmas sweaters?

I'd say they're a lukewarm subject. Perhaps I would have a more favourable opinion of these gaudy hall-mark apparel of the winter tides if my mother did not insist upon the traditional buying of such garments to "get festive".

[askflightybroad]

Show the guy that was speaking off camera he sounds hot

It seems your presence has been requested by my adoring fans. Perhaps I was mistaken in the online worlds need for my advice and input when truly a more charming and intriguing member of society presents himself so brazenly.

@askinsufferableprick

[askflightybroad]

I will spare the usual amateur gestures of adjusting the camera or making the usual speech expressing enthusiasm and wondering "If the mic is on" and skip right to the chase.

At the behest of certain parties close to me, I have been persuaded to make a blog for myself.

yo lalonde did you get the blog set up yet look if youre having trouble im game rose you telling me this is official

Yes. Alarmingly official. I suppose I will endeavour to keep an active social media presence and try to understand this site more when I am not busy. So as it stands, ask away.

[askflightybroad]

show us the wizard lalonde

Hopefully this satiates your curiousity. The wizard in all his unholy christmas-themed glory.

[askflightybroad]

there's a trolley coming down the tracks. If you don't do anything, it will hit five people. If you flip the lever, you switch the tracks to hit a completely smoking babe. What do you do?

I flip the lever.

After this hypothetical completely smoking babe is decimated, I approach her smoldering remains so I may courteously contact her family — who have, between her shaky reconnection with an ex-lover and her steady trend towards substance abuse, long-since expected this downfall. For she is no less grieved, I attend her funeral. I offer my remarks. She was a fine woman, a loving daughter, and most certainly did not possess a dubious fascination with the existence of incestuous dynamics. The family wails, moved by my sincerity — I was, after all, their daughter's killer, and there are things you can only realize of a person once you have felt their blood on your hands. As soon as I conclude the remark, the closed-casket slams open; from it emerges transfeminine Sigmund Freud, who makes loud and offensive corrections at my misinterpretation of her work. I flee the scene in a panic, disgusted and embarrassed.

I then return to the tracks, await for the trolly to return, and re-flip the lever so it may hit the other five people. Thank you for this delightful thought experiment.

[askflightybroad]

in ur opinion whats the best type of monster to woo? like theres the classic vampires, werewolves, and rogue AI, but perhaps youre more of a disney’s flubber kinda gal?

I have a great fondness for strange and esoteric creatures, especially of the feminine variety. The Gryla, also stylized as Gríla, the antithesis of Santa Claus and mother of the Yule Lads; or the Kumiho, who would undoubtedly respond to your propositioning if only to devour your liver; and any of the sirens for the aforementioned reasons.

Regarding your suggestions, however, it is of my personal purview that vampires in a romantic context are vastly overdone. The genre of vampiric literature has never quite progressed past John Polidori's The Vampyre, neither in terms of literary prowess nor quality of subtle eroticism — if one desires to be bitten so badly, might I suggest they look into recreational blood letting? So long as it's done safe, sane, and consensually, the damage to the world done in the aftermath would be far more palatable than yet another mediocre Young Adult slash about being kidnapped, mind-controlled through freakishly intense eyes, and/or falling in love with their so-called silver tongue. If I were to debase myself by writing such tales, I would make the entire "blood-sucking" feature completely transactional. But that is a conversation to be had approximately never.

[askflightybroad]

Any favourite reads? Not specifically pertaining to books, but any general text based medium?

What avid inquiries into my preferences of literature. I suppose it's only polite to indulge with a response just as enthusiastic. Brace yourselves for, as a certain Strider would say, a shit ton of text.

Approximately two-thirds of the work I peruse do not have titles. I am inclined to believe they are more akin to a literary fever dream than anything I, or any other currently existing mortal soul, have the capacity to fully comprehend; much less describe. I will, however, in good faith, suggest some texts that I consider widely-known.

I particularly enjoy Studies on Hysteria by Freud, though I suppose I more-so enjoy exploring the founding text from which he would later establish his psychoanalytic kingdom. And in any case, acknowledging just how frequently he injected his patients with copious dosages of morphine deserves further recognition, don't you think? I have a re-interpretive historical text in the works regarding his potentially homoerotic relationship with physician Josef Breuer, and studying the paper directly has been of instrumental significance.

Other takes I've greatly enjoyed include The Meaning of Truth by William James; The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman; The Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath (especially the pieces Recantation, 1956, and Monologue at 3 a.m.); and Aye, and Gomorrah. by Samuel R. Delaney.

Oh my, and how could I forget. The all-time classic, the delightful vixen of this ungodly hour, the pinnacle of modern creativity that Shakespeare can only weep at the mention of.

The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Myers.

[askflightybroad]

Are you sure you don't bite? Humans have canine teeth for a reason right?

Absolutely. Would you like to find out?