#asklondon

[rulesoflondon]

Ask London: a night out

Question: My friend and I are coming to London for a weekend, where should we go out? Venue recommendations would be great, but we’re more interested in checking out good clubs than DJs we’ve heard of.

Answer: This is not an easy one - but ready, set, dance! 

The Egg, Fabric, and Ministry of Sound are the top insane clubs that have hot DJs, house music, and insane venues. Fabric has about 3 floors and 21 rooms or some crazy business. The bathrooms alone will blow you away - each room has different music genres, by the time you had a drink in every room, you would not be sober. The Egg I would vote number one based on YouTube videos alone, Ministry second, and Fabric third. But - this is all personal opinion. All three of these clubs you need to buy tickets online in advance. If you look early, you can sometimes score early bird tickets. If you live here, you tend to save these places for special occasions, but if you’re on holiday – it’s totally worth it.

Then you’ve got more mainstream ones, such as Dstrkt, Movida, Jalouse, Cirque le Soir, and many more. These can be great, and according to London Rule #6 you’re guaranteed to see at least one chick playing with fire. 

For bars and more low key stuff, when you research – stick to areas and vibes you're in the mood for. For instance, Shoreditch is not too posh - not too grungy. Camden Town is more on the rocker/Amy Winehouse side of things, and Hoxton/Dalston is as hot as Hansel right now, and of course Mayfair (Oxford area) for your heels and pinky up occasions. South I am still exploring, but after a recent trip to Brixton, I found it to be fan-flipping-tastic. Literally.

[adviceorsomething]

Im 16, My house isnt really a "safe place" to me. I have 3 little brothers, and we moved 500 miles away from where I grew up about a year ago. I made many friends here including one very close one, but my best friend is still in my old town; I get really depressed a lot. Although Im young, and i have friends both places Id really like to move back with some family there considering all. what do you think?

Well, if moving back is actually plausible (i.e, you have family members willing to move back with you and etc) then I say go ahead. If you feel your house is not a safe place for you, then I strongly advise you get out of there. And with regards to the friends thing... the way I see it, you're going to miss people either way. I think it really will come down to what is best for YOU, and perhaps even who you would miss more.

But think about yourself more than others when making this decision, yeah? Keeping other people happy is great, but is it worth it if you're going to be miserable? <33

- London xx

[adviceorsomething]

Hi! I've really been meaning to get this of my chest and tonight felt like shit so here I am I guess. I'm on anon because I'm so paranoid that if people find out that I do this things they'll judge me. This gonna be a long one; I'm rambler. It's just that I want to be someone that people will like me, to look up to you know? I'm good at Maths you know, but I've never really received any kind of recognition other than 'Your younger sister is better at this, try harder!' and 'Can I cheat (c)

Holy shizz that was a long one. I won't post images, seeing as there are eight, so I'll just respond to this one and hope you remember all the messages you sent D:

Read more to save your dashes <3

First of all, never ever feel bad about your emotions. Beating yourself up over the fact that you feel bad over the bullying you get when others suffer worse is just a vicious cycle. Feel bad -> why am I feeling bad?? -> feel bad for feeling bad -> why am I feeling bad?? and it just goes on. It's not healthy, so you really need to stop that as soon as possible D:

With regards to the actual bullying and the lack of recognition, well.. people fucking suck. Unfortunately you can't really do anything to make them leave you alone - and by that I mean, you can't do anything that will make them see they're fucking assholes. I myself would report it, if it was the actual sort of bullying situation, or kindly tell the other person to fuck off mind their own business if it's the 'oh ho, i'm bullying you in a joky way without realising i'm making you feel like dirt' situation.

To me, it sounds like you need to talk to someone. Yes, I know, confiding in people sucks, but maybe you could go to your school nurse or school counsellor/chaplain. The way you're bottling things up isn't healthy for you, especially if you feel like you can't even tell Gwen. 

Oh man I want to help you, but I'm afraid I don't think I can tell you much. A professional would really be good for you, or even something you can just let yourself be.. yourself. Maybe purchase a journal and literally just write anything you feel like writing. That helps <3

-London xx

((Oh, and the 1D thing? Chesire, Cleveland and I are all massive 1D fans. Nothing to be ashamed of))

[adviceorsomething]

~Part 1~ Hey, guys. I love what you do, and think you're all amazing for it! :) But I needed a bit of advice also. I never wanted to be one to label myself with any condition because I have no experience in anything to do with that, but I have been searching up a TON of information about Social Anxiety lately. It's not that I don't like being around people, it's that I don't know what to do. I'm am definitely not able to hold conversations, and I'm not good at making friends.

Hi there, love. I think you're amazing! (: I have no experience with social anxiety, except for the usual being awkward when you're walking alone and etc but that's probably because I'm just an awkward person. But I'll try my best for you <3

I can see how this situation would suck, so I'm very happy you decided to come here and get some advice. You mentioned not wanting to go to a psychologist unless you were sure, so have you ever considered going to a doctor and just attempting to diagnose it? I completely understand not wanting to waste your parents money.

Oh man. I wish I knew what else to tell you. All I can suggest I medical help, to be honest with you, so please, please, find your way to a doctor sometime soon. 

Good luck!

-London xx

[adviceorsomething]

My sister who is also like my bestfriend is spending all of her time with a girl that i cant stand. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she said that i just need to get over it. i'm 15 and shes 16, and i don't know what to do anymore...

This situation suckssssss. I only really know it in friend form, seeing as all my brothers were either too old for me to even get to know (we're like strangers and it's weird) or they simply.. didn't get along with me at all XD But the 'hanging out with someone I can't stand' situation? Been there -.-

Honestly, there isn't much you can do. Your sister is her own person and she'll hang out with who she wants, but you can always talk to her about not cutting the other person off, but just hanging out with you sometimes. Maybe go watch a movie with her or go out for food or whatever you guys did before this person came along. 

Don't try and cut off the other person, but you can certainly try to get a little more of your sister than you have been.

Good luck, love - feel free to message us with an update/asking for more advice <3

-London xx

[adviceorsomething]

I used to really want a boyfriend but the more I think about it, I don't want the commitment, more just like a boy I can hookup with without attachmens. I just don't know how to find someone who wants the same (and i'm shit at talking to guys anyway) and also I used to think I was bisexual (I still do) but lately I think it's more bi-curious because I don't want a relationship with a girl at all but sex with one seems great but I just want y sexuality to stop changing and idk what to so

Heya love :3 This one is a little bit hard to answer without knowing your age, but only really because I can't exactly tell you to hit up the clubs if you're underage... But I'll try my best for you, because I'm gonna be honest here, this situation is pretty much my own. Except minus the hook ups, I think.

Read more option because here at adviceorsomething we give really long answers!

I, too, think sex with a female would be fucking awesome - but I'm still a little shady on the actual relationship part. You can read more about sexualities here in a previous answer by Cheshire, and I think it would be a great read - seeing as yeah, I'm still figuring it out myself.

I guess my best advice I can give to you right now regarding the seemingly ever-changing sexuality (hoo, boy have I cried myself to sleep over how much I hate myself for not knowing who I am) is the advice I've been giving myself - and the advice I've been following for a while now: fuck it.

Now, you can take 'fuck it' as 'fuck everything that moves that I feel like fucking' and that'd be great, because that's kinda the message I'm getting across here. Except condoms and pills and safe sex, okay? But why worry over a label? I know it's really hard and some days you can go from being absolutely fabulous in your new 'fuck it' attitude, but other days the sheer lack of label can frighten you so much that you freak out. Curse you, social norms.

So really, what I guess I'm saying is you shouldn't spazz out over something as small as a label. Because think about it - why do YOU need a label? Do you need to tell yourself you're heterosexual so that you don't hit on girls? Do you need to remind yourself that you're homosexual so as not to catch yourself looking at a boy? No, of course you don't. People feel like they need a label because OTHER PEOPLE demand one. Well, fuck those other people because that shit is confusing and we're lazy fucks. Just fuck whoever you feel like. 

And as for the finding a guy to hook up with... if you're overage I guess you could try clubs. They're a hotspot for one night stands - or so I've heard. If you're underage then all I can really offer is the usual way of approaching someone.

As long as you make it clear you're only in it for da sex. Friends with benefits often becomes messy if people aren't careful D:

Also, I'm right there with you with being horrid at talking to boys. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT OMG I'M NOT AN ALIEN! ;___; Boys. 

- London xx