The beast is another scar; the infamous Nephilim torments Eren. Let’s remember the amazing courtroom scene and how humanity cowered in front of a fifteen year old before Titan slaying Napoleon jumped in. Mentally, Eren cannot handle the tug of war sometimes with the monster— he succumbs sometimes to a need for violence and carnage(which the mun speculates can be a great cause of his anger problems but ruled that out due to other evidence) It makes his mind tread in to a dangerous territory, he has yet to willingly discuss the situation but should perhaps with Hange, Smith, or Levi someone of an official status. His mind starts to go from seeing seeing black and white in to a grey area.He feels that as long as the chaotic nature kills and purges— shouldn’t it be good to be this infatuated with slaughtering his prey? this is after all what he wants, he wants every titan dead and it feels marvelous to watch them die. At the same time, when recovering from the transformation he feels scared, scared one day this chaotic good may turn against him and be used to harm what shouldn’t be killed. He curses his father to hell and back that he created a damn beast.
His mind he finds to be utterly disgusting, a place of decay and mayhem but at the same time, there is some beauty a small patch. He feels though that if it is corrupted then the beast will of won, right now it is as if they live side by side with each other trying to lick each other’s wounds. Added on to it being called a monster is his greatest pain— even in anger if anyone calls him such a thing, he crumbles inside. He wants to be human but at the same time, he cannot in order to be free. He wants humanity to see he won’t hurt them, he is here to help but it’s hard now. Is he a gentle beast? a murderous monster? a soldier with a heart of gold? or a boy who’s wings are not yet ready for him to take flight? no one knows not even Eren but he just cannot stand to know his scar second scar in his heart is being stripped of his title of being simply ‘human’