*starts well with the ace group with a nice turn out (and a bit of diversity), having ace discussions. It seems to mean that at least the movie accepts ace as a real identity.
*3 minutes in goes to shit because even after Olivia expresses ace-esque thoughts about society's sex obsession, the leader says "Sometimes people use asexuality to hide. It's about finding the right fit."
What the no-fuck? !?! Ace groups wouldn't turn away questioning people like that.
*Her roommate (?) then gives his two cents: "For the record, I don't think you're asexual." When Olivia says "It's just something I've been thinking about/giving it a try (?), he goes "You might give sex a try. " Then she freaks out and goes "Too much pressure!"
I'm like 4 minutes in. Urgh.
*lots of aphobia, internalized (if I have sex I will become somewhat more typical human being) and external (very sex normative, you don't have the life experience to teach Modernism and Realism, life experience =love and sex) *her mother appears and gives a horrible rant about 'all these damn sexualities'
*early she blew up at her class, kinda making her seem irrational (they don't pay attention to her so she rants at them about only caring about their next date or screw)
*it's incredible uncomfortable to watch her try to have sex. She's uncomfortable and clearly doesn't want it/is repulsed by it. *ETA I do think the overall tone is humorous and affectionate. I'm not sure how to phrase that. It's uncomfortable but also funny in a good way. Because she's never actually forced to do anything.
*and yet everyone tells her to do it (except neighbor Ray, I'm wondering if he's a semi-love interest? At 54mins) (spoiler he is!)
*odd anti-sex work line (what is sex to you? Natural progression -Profession? -Progression -Oh, good. I was scared) *sex work is work
*peer pressure to try weed
*lots of 'how are you a virgin at 27' -I'm currently 32 and happily a virgin
*before I watched this, I knew there was a 'lesbian realizes she's bi' plot. It's very much a YMMV plotline. The character is CJ, Olivia's camerawoman and she does have a bit of a flirty dynamic with Julian, the guy Olivia is experimenting with, and except for being willing to sleep with any woman available Julian is a decent guy, it's maybe not that bad. Part of it is that we don't see Julian with Olivia's friend Felisha a lot nor do we see CJ with a woman (except for a reference to on stage making out between Olivia and CJ in Bye Bye Birdie), and CJ does say 'I think I might be bi' after she's attracted to Julian, so it's not like she's dequeered. But their relationship starts out as cheating. And Olivia has a weird reaction to it. Anyway if you are bothered by that stuff (and that's mostly ok), best to skip this movie.
*Julian and Olivia do end up sharing a good kiss that Olivia describes as giving her a 'je ne sais quoi' feeling, and 'giving her hetero leanings', she wasn't sexually attracted to Julian ultimately
*she doesn't have sex and realizes that it's not for her
*in the end, it's implied she gets together with her neighbor who holds her hand right after she tells him that she'll never be into sex. It seemed he might be similarly inclined
*she doesn't end up identifying herself as anything but she says that 'the gray zone is not a bad place to be'.
*I do wonder about that really weird rejection by the ace group in the beginning. Plus her gay roommate telling her 'I don't think you're asexual', kinda in the same way a fatphobe might say 'you're not fat, you're beautiful', acting like you can't be both. Like, it seemed like James the roommate was trying to comfort her. Like being ace was the worst.
Having that be the start of her exploration really didn't help. Like, it's possible those things kept her from truly embracing her aceness, because she was told 'you're not like us' and 'you shouldn't be like them'
*Overall I ended up liking it a lot more than I thought. I enjoyed Olivia as a character, and I thought lot of the aphobia was realistic. The plot summary and the beginning were the worst but overall Olivia gained internal and a bit of external (Ray, her mother apologizes for her awfulness, James is an OK friend) acceptance of herself. She doesn't get to define herself with a label but she becomes OK with questioning and not having an answer.
For a 2012 film, it has issues but considering H*use MD's awful Better Half episode came out the same year (Jan vs Nov? ) this is much better. Even compared to On Chesil Beach, a 2017 film about an (assumed) ace woman forcing herself to have sex with her husband on their wedding night, this is a lot better. (The issue with OCB is the fact it loses interest in Florence and her pov disappears in the end when it really shouldn't have)
I can see myself rewatching this a decent amount.
And of course, I am just one ace (double demi). Others can disagree. Especially Olivia's character can rub people the wrong way because she's very socially awkward.
