#asperitasrex

[saligiare]

Amduscias (Duchess): Listen, if Luzifer had asked me to go somewhere that I thought was actually good for my career, I'd be gone so fast you'd be left staring at an imaginary woman's chest as she was trying to make a point.

Mammon: Oh I'm, I'm sorry, it's my fault. That dress just screams: Respect me as a politician!

[saligiare]

Paimon: We're only four seconds in and I'm already regretting my decision.

Amduscias: [hits a bell] Things Luzifer says during sex!

Paimon: [drops giant stack of carefully sorted files]

Amduscias: ... there's a good chance I'm gonna kill someone.

Paimon: [hits a bell] Things Amduscias says during sex!

[saligiare]

Amduscias: [Standing next to Azazel and Ciar] Goodness gracious, suddenly I'm getting the most intense headache. Let me see if this relieves the pain. [grabs Azazel and shoves him in between him and Ciar]

Amduscias: Better! [pushes Azazel away]

Amduscias: Worse! [Pulls him back]

Amduscias: Better![and away again]

Amduscias: Worse! Oh, I could do this all day.

[saligiare]

Luzifer: Paimon, get this piece of trash out of here.

Paimon: (to Amduscias) You heard the man. Move it.

[saligiare]

Azazel: You know, Amdu, I've been thinking of all the times you manipulated me and toyed with me and I can't help but recall that children's fable about that race between the tortoise and the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-music-that-everybody-hates. You see, Amdu, the pain-in-the-ass-chief-of-meusic-that-everybody-hates kept running out in front of the tortoise and taunting him, but right at the end... oh, gosh I'm sure you remember what happened Amdu, the tortoise bit clean through the Chief of Music's calf muscle, dragged him to the ground, where he and all the other turtles devoured him alive right there on the racetrack. It's a disturbing children's book, Amdu, I know, but it's one that stuck with me nonetheless.

Amduscias: Buzzy, buzz, buzz...

Azazel: I... beg you pardon?

Amduscias: Oh, uh, that's the sound of all the bees in your bonnet. And, Azzy, even though I could give a rat's ass, I still think it's a pretty sound!

[saligiare]

Paimon: I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress.

Amduscias: You'd have to be dead six months to fit into it.

[saligiare]

Paimon: Poor Azazel. I can't imagine what it must be like to be despised by so many people.

Amduscias: Oh come on, don't be so modest.

[saligiare]

Amduscias: [voiceover] I was running late, but that's okay, because I've been working with Belphegor these last few weeks and he likes to start every day the same way - by touching everything in his first client's room.

Belphegor: [touching things] Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink, Bink...

Paimon: [enters room]

Amduscias: [voiceover] Everything.

Belphegor: [touches Paimon's nose]

Paimon: Oh, well I suppose that is how they say hello in Cuckoo town. The clients of this wing have been complaining about hearing strange noises.

Belphegor: If it's bink I can explain.

Paimon: It's not bink.

Amduscias: Is it I come from the land down under, where women glow and men plunder? ..That wasn't me.

Paimon: Just figure it out, dammit! [leaves]

Belphegor: ..Do you plunder?

Amduscias: I have been known to.