I would just like to say to anyone struggling to grieve right now because they don’t believe in any kind of soul, spirit, afterlife, etc: you’re not alone. I am here with you. It’s okay to wish you could believe -- to even try to believe -- and it’s okay not and not want to.
What we have of the dead upon this earth are memories. This is what matters: that they had happy moments and we had happy moments with them. He changed the world, okay? Because he changed our lives.
He’s gone. There doesn’t have to be any reason to it or mitigation of it for you to be able to breathe again. There are millions of lives in this world, therefore millions of deaths, and that sometimes helps me. Because everybody meets someone who dies and everybody dies. I don’t know why. Maybe because it makes this less alone.
It’s difficult. To find a way to lessen the sadness when comfort lives only in the past, in your mind. I understand.
But first, feel sad. It’s okay. You do not have to get rid of negative feelings instantly. Even understanding that it will get easier with time doesn’t mean it must get easier right now. Talk to people who understand, and then step away and just sit with yourself. Remember what your story with him was, maybe write it down.
And there, you move into how to feel better: reflecting, creating things to cause you to remember in the future. Go on to Hypixel, leave a message if you have something to say. (It’s okay if there’s nothing; I didn’t and I won’t. For me, my earlier post being out there in the world was enough.) Donate to the sarcoma charity, if you have the money; it may help you to know you’re giving towards preventing more deaths like this from happening. Talk to people who understand, again, later, you can go through this as many times as you need.
Grieving without belief is grieving without a helping hand. But here is my hand for you, together. We are humans still on this Earth. We remember him, we cry for him, we miss him and will miss him.
You can find peace in yourself with his death without believing that his continued consciousness is at peace. Coming to terms with the ending of things is rough. Coming to terms with the ending of people is worse.
But one day, trust me, we will find something Technoblade again, and we will reminisce to ourselves about how he comforted us, inspired us, made us happy. We will cry a little. Well, maybe you will; I don’t cry that often, and that’s okay too. To need time but only a little, to feel sad but not as much as others. You are still sad and can take your few minutes rather than days without guilt. And for those of you that do need days, we are here for you. To be with you through words and silence, to remember with you, to pick things up while you are on pause.
But my promise for you, all of you, is that you will not need to say to yourself when you remember him, “At least he’s in a better place now,” in order to be able to say “I have good memories of him. He was a good person. He is missed, and I am thankful that he was alive.”
Cry for him, cherish his memory as a blessing, and you can be at peace with the idea that his “rest” is no sleep. Sending warmth over these webways and digital displays into your hearts and minds in this difficult time.
