Obsession made me feel dread and hopelessness, but it did not scare me.
And I don't say this to be edgy or cool, like "hahaha I'm so cool, I didn't flinch at Obsession". I say this because it reveals a lot about our reality right now and always. I keep seeing posts that are like "imagine being Nikki". And the thing is; A lot of women don't have to. That's the horror.
I have dated someone just like Bear, who took my autonomy as a suggestion. Who didn't take my dreams and ambitions and boundaries seriously and pushed them aside constantly. Who was too cowardly to communicate his feelings with me. Who was too cowardly to break things off when things got bad, when he knew he was hurting me, who begged for a temporary break instead of letting me go in peace. And when I finally broke it off for good with him, he didn't even give me the dignity of responding to me. He just gave me my stuff in complete silence and didn't even look at me. Someone who clings to you like a parasite because they're too scared to get emotional fulfillment from anyone else, so they obsess over you. Who isolates you from the people who will tell you that what they're doing to you isn't normal. Bear doesn't even like Nikki. He likes that she's nice to him and that's it. And that's exactly how my ex was too. He didn't love, he didn't know me, I never felt seen by him. I was just something pretty to look at and dump his emotions on.
This is why I have no sympathy for Bear. I know how he will act. Giving sympathy to that kind of man just makes him drag you down into the mud with him even further. They will use it to keep you around; they will use it to make themselves seem innocent. I wouldn't have gotten out if I stayed sympathetic to my ex, so I don't understand why people are sympathetic towards Bear. He is the one with autonomy in this scenario.
Obsession is not scary to me because I know girls who have lived through it. The horror of watching your body be violated while you're unable to stop it is a common one. Girls aren't told to cover their drinks for no reason. Obsession is gut wrenching because it is real lived experiences and because some people don't have to imagine being in Nikki's place to understand that.
You know what they say; art is supposed to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed.