The Lurker

I am simply here to browse art and create. That is all. Please don't perceive me too hard. I use any pronouns and will often use them interchangeably for myself. If I have you blocked, it was most likely me trying to avoid HEAVILY NSFW topics because they make me uncomfy. I'm a huge art lover of all kinds. Film, photography, traditional, digital, 3D, however I do not accept AI as a form of art and I will block you if you use it. I love making OCs for my fandoms. I love it so much!!! I love characters as an exploration of trauma! Yippeeeeee!!

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

Little Things that Make Me Happy

This post will be updated every time I think of something. It serves as a reminder that the things in my life aren't all bad. Just a little something to keep me going!

________________________________________________________________

My cat eating - My cat went through a very intense health scare a couple months back. She stopped eating and drinking and lost nearly half her body weight. She's better now but seeing her eat and play still give me a little shot of dopamine every time.

PDA - I know it grosses some people out when they see public displays of affection, but I find it very sweet. Two gals holding hands, a guy kissing his girlfriend on the head before going to class, guys with a hand on the back of their buddy's chair, a child being carried, teenagers who still hug their parents bye, girls doing each other's hair, heck anyone hugging someone else bye, it's all very sweet to me. I don't think anyone should be ashamed of showing their love; platonic, romantic, familial, it's all so beautiful.

Stimming - My own stimming is fun but seeing other people stim is one of my favorite things too. We can be all fluttery and happy and silly together. It's great!

Stickers on mobility aids - They absolutely rock! I am currently sewing patches onto my knee braces and I'm so excited to show them off. It's so fun to decorate parts of yourself.

Getting excited over art - It's a beautiful thing. It's even more beautiful to be able to tell the artist how well they did.

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

I work with kids and sometimes we have to do safety lessons with them about like, not telling strangers on the internet your home address or something. And sometimes the kids wont understand why, so you have to impart upon them that, well, some adults want to hurt children. And thats kind of difficult to do, because you have to beat around the bush, both because you dont want to scare them (while still making them understand how serious it is) and because you might lose your job if you explain it too straight forward.

Luckily, for some reason, the villain of one of the most popular franchises with children for the last 10 years happens to be a serial child murderer. So when a kid asks why they shouldnt trust strangers, instead of hand wringing and humhawing my answer out, I can just say "we dont always know when a strange adult has good intentions with children, or when they are William Afton."

[walmartnoodle]

Wdym you hate Stratt? Without her you don’t get a story

[modernmusess]

there’s something so gutwrenching about the fact that the female characters in obsession have real dreams and wishes but never get the chance to see them realized, while both male characters waste their wishes on short-term selfish satisfaction. they were complex, free-spirited young women who just wanted to create art, and they were destroyed by a man determined to confine them to his superficial perception of them. nikki wanted to be a writer, sarah wanted to be a tattoo artist and now neither of them will get to be anything at all

[he-wears-fine-things-well]

“What’s so bad about being with me?” You raped her. You changed her so fundamentally she is literally not the same person anymore. You took her body and her mind with no consideration for her own feelings about you. You dominate her life in a way she no longer has a life. You took everything from her but her life. She begged you to kill her but in your mind her not loving you was a fate worse than her death. It was never about you but you made it so anyway. She literally doesn’t exist without you. That is what your obsession did to her

[thebowieconstrickter]

Was thinking about how fitting it is that Bear wants to be a food critic while Nikki wants to be a writer.

He wants to complain about the creations of someone else, adding nothing but despair to their lives, refusing to contribute anything helpful or new.

She wants to create something original but is stuck in an imitation of herself, forced to reenact a plot she hates.

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

Obsession made me feel dread and hopelessness, but it did not scare me.

And I don't say this to be edgy or cool, like "hahaha I'm so cool, I didn't flinch at Obsession". I say this because it reveals a lot about our reality right now and always. I keep seeing posts that are like "imagine being Nikki". And the thing is; A lot of women don't have to. That's the horror.

I have dated someone just like Bear, who took my autonomy as a suggestion. Who didn't take my dreams and ambitions and boundaries seriously and pushed them aside constantly. Who was too cowardly to communicate his feelings with me. Who was too cowardly to break things off when things got bad, when he knew he was hurting me, who begged for a temporary break instead of letting me go in peace. And when I finally broke it off for good with him, he didn't even give me the dignity of responding to me. He just gave me my stuff in complete silence and didn't even look at me. Someone who clings to you like a parasite because they're too scared to get emotional fulfillment from anyone else, so they obsess over you. Who isolates you from the people who will tell you that what they're doing to you isn't normal. Bear doesn't even like Nikki. He likes that she's nice to him and that's it. And that's exactly how my ex was too. He didn't love, he didn't know me, I never felt seen by him. I was just something pretty to look at and dump his emotions on.

This is why I have no sympathy for Bear. I know how he will act. Giving sympathy to that kind of man just makes him drag you down into the mud with him even further. They will use it to keep you around; they will use it to make themselves seem innocent. I wouldn't have gotten out if I stayed sympathetic to my ex, so I don't understand why people are sympathetic towards Bear. He is the one with autonomy in this scenario.

Obsession is not scary to me because I know girls who have lived through it. The horror of watching your body be violated while you're unable to stop it is a common one. Girls aren't told to cover their drinks for no reason. Obsession is gut wrenching because it is real lived experiences and because some people don't have to imagine being in Nikki's place to understand that.

You know what they say; art is supposed to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed.

[gimmielovemp3]

on my second viewing of obsession, i had the realization that nikki’s story at the party wasn’t the movie using incest as an easy shorthand for making the audience uncomfortable or creating a general “things are off” vibe but was another way the real nikki was crying out—a metaphor for the fact that nikki, like gretel, is being made to fuck her “little brother” (bear) under duress, at the behest of an external magic (the witch’s spell in her story; obviously, bear’s wish)

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

I watched Obsession tonight and I have many, many thoughts but the main one has finally gotten me over my ex because I realized in the ending credits, listening to Nikki scream, that my Ex reminds me exactly of Bear.

Thanks, Obsession.

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

I can’t pronounce horror properly because of a speech impediment, so sometimes it comes out sounding like “whore”. Today I tried to say Eldritch Horror and ended up saying Eldritch Whore. And now I am thinking of incomprehensible baddies.

[melandrops]

the aroace read of ryland grace is so personal and haunting. "you don't even have a dog." was it not enough to love the world for the sake of living in it. was it not enough to live for the thrill of discovery. was it not enough to smile at your students. was it not enough to be afraid.

[daikaiju-zilla]

I made a Digital Circus personality quiz! I put way too much time and thought into it, but I like how it came out 💚

This quiz has been intricately crafted to accurately identify which cast member of The Amazing Digital Circus matches your personality as mu

Lemme know what you think if you take it!

[randomperson2009]

I got rags :]

[deliarts]

RRRRRRAAUYGHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOO FUCUUUFUFUFKFKKCLKKKKKK

ITS SO DAMN TRUE THO UGHHHHHHH

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

AYEEEEEE!!! CALLED IT!!!! MY GOAT!!!!!

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

I had a dream last night that once you fought your last battle, you were gifted an article of clothing that was cut into slits and braided. How many braids you had/how long your braids represented how many battles you'd fought. I still felt like me, there was a mirror in front of me and I looked like me, but I could tell that at my core I was someone adjacent. I had this subconscious feeling that the world was younger than the one I came from, indicated by the dirty armor hanging in the corner of my room. It was my room, but it looked like a cave. Moss clung to every surface and in the center of the room was a pond of sorts, crystal blue and covered in flowering lily pads. I was stood in front of my mirror with my dad behind me. He looked the same too, but more tired and his voice was hoarse. I felt older, and there was a harshness I felt towards him that I didn't recognize. Whoever this "not me" was, she was wearing one of these special garments. It was a black dress with a turtleneck, with braiding going down each side under her armpits and an entire braid going all the way from the neck to the pelvis. I felt tired from events I hadn't seen, and her face stayed blank the whole time. My dad seemed bigger, like how he looked like a giant when I was a little girl. He was holding up my hair to study the braiding on my clothes. I never turned to look at him, I could just vaguely see him in the reflection. Mostly I kept my eyes on the floor, my head bowed. He asked me if I had made this dress, sounding in awe and worried. Like he was hoping she had been the one to make this, that she truly hadn't gone out and fought for all this time. My doubleganger shook her head no. There was a grief he carried, regret maybe, and I just felt tired. I figured she should have been proud, but she wasn't. She was just tired.

I dunno what the fuck any of that means but I might use it in a story or something. I woke up before anything else could happen.

[plaguedocboi]

I remember when I was younger, anytime I watched a movie where the characters have to kill a scary monster/alien, I always thought the act of killing it was intended to be part of the horror. Like there’s this amazing creature that we’ve never seen before, and maybe under different circumstances we could’ve coexisted with it, but it’s trying to attack you and you have to defend yourself, but by destroying it you also destroy the ability to ever understand it and that’s sad and is supposed to make you feel conflicted.

It was not until well into my adulthood that I realized most people do not have complicated feelings about movies where people have to kill a scary alien monster, nor is that necessarily meant to be part of the narrative (unless it very obviously is). They just want the scary thing to die because it’s scary. I don’t have a real conclusion to this I just started thinking about it for some reason.

[nooneispresenttodaysorry]

I have the exact same feelings! I think the movie Nope conveys this really well. Without too many spoilers, a big theme and a large part of the horror of the movie is that animals will be animals and at their core; they do not intend to cause harm. They don't know any better, they don't know our morals, so we are the cruelest creatures when we have to kill them because we have a conscience.

(Also, Jordan Peele is one of my favorite movie directors, go watch all of his movies because he rocks. Nope happens to be my favorite of his!)

[tobydontknowsh-t]

there's probably a better way of wording the last part but like come on it doesn't matter if we're all the same to fascists

[everything-you-feel-is-real]

No I genuinely don't think there's any better wording of the last part

[scentedpocky]

hiii jax ^_^

[wolfsteax]

isn't she lovely?