💓💤 lilith in 1st house experience- i was born in the south yall in the early 2000s, the conservative ass christian (in the very negative and abusive light) crap was very prominent god, like the ones who were very judgmental of people who weren’t like the majority (white and purebred and not interracial) or favorable in the eyes of gooood 🥵. i was born mixed, my dad being white (german, polish, peruvian) and my mom being full hispanic (colombian, spaniard) and people didn’t take that here lightly. they discriminated my existence and almost tried to shut me away from “society” since i was a product of an interracial marriage, a happy one actually, which also attracted jealously. people hated my existence honestly especially since i was white passing and my mom was hispanic but she is gorgeousss like exotic asfff which made the women and men go fucking ballistic LMFAOO i always had so much drama about my race, how my parents looked and what we had, genuinely people got mad over shit like this i don’t get it (like materialism, looks, a nuclear family with a damn white picked fence, the happiest american dream you can find just down the road like it GENUINELY pissed ppl off???? it was a “perfect” image tbh??? like idk what people were even trying to say) but it’s almost like i never could feel proud of my identity or how i looked or was perceived, i felt like i needed to hide something from plain sight, i felt like i didn’t belong and i was shamed lowkey a feel times and would try to like hide my real self with layers and layers of conditioning from patrons when i was a kid. i was always superrr controversial just from existing, had all eyes on me and still do. i. fucking. hate. it. ( quick TANGENT OMFG!!! now you see all these bitches tryna act all latina and shit with the accents and the skin tanning and so on omfgggg). i had to learn to embrace who i was slowly and carefully since i realized it could be a lot for a person to take in and i’ve balanced this yin and yang within myself which took some damn time and maturing. i always felt like i had to hide something from everyone but now i really don’t gaf unless it affects me in the future, i don’t fucking care!!!! 😁 but here i is! lol. also, i have a fuck ton of stalkers, yay mars in 12th house! 😁😁