#astromart

[jacobb99]

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[jacobb99]

Holy Crap

Well it looks like I have reached some new level of the internet

My stories are now being read by robots XD

Still this is super cool and if the creator is reading this thank you! I just ask you link back to my reddit or Tumblr and maybe start at the beginning instead of a few posts in.

Anyway stumbled upon this so thought I would share!

[jacobb99]

I saw something strange at my local Astro-Mart pt. 5

Sorry for the lack of posts but not much has really happened since my last post, the only thing of note is someone appears to be hiding balloon animals around the store. Other than that nothing out of the ordinary. I'll post again when something happens

[jacobb99]

Heres a really bad rendition of the TP guy.

Sorry for the horrid art.

[jacobb99]

I saw something strange at my local Astro-Mart pt. 4

Sorry for the lack of uploads recently, things have been weird as hell. So I won’t delay too much and just get right into this.

EDIT: Hey, so things got even crazier this was supposed to go up last Friday but my ISP flipped me the bird so now until further notice I’m uploading these from the local McDonalds.

First off apparently the store has some kind of time warpy altery effect? Okay, so my shift is supposed to be only 9 hours long including my two half hour breaks. However, it always feels like its longer, and my phone doesn’t really work right while in the store, and we don’t have a clock inside so I thought it was just that making it seem longer, kinda the reverse of the thing casinos do. But nope it really started bothering me so I did the first thing I could think of, check the security footage since it has a timer on it. And what do you know turns out my feeling was right, while only 9 hours have passed during my shift there is 11 hours of footage from when I come in to when I clock out. I’m slightly tempted to see about contacting my boss and maybe use that to get more paid hours but at this rate I would be surprised if it turned out the owner can’t melt my brain by thinking it. Are there any laws about this? I’m pretty sure Florida doesn’t have any laws that prevent employers from sticking you in a time warp but it feels like there should be.

The Smorgasbeast is back, turns out I was right when I thought I saw it creeping around outside the store, its apparently been eating out of the dumpster. I have also learned it really likes hot dogs, so now I bring some with me incase its hanging around when I take the trash to out back. Also, before I continue I’m still confused by all the comments saying that the Smorgasbeast is a Caudate, still super confused cause when I look that up I just get brain scan images.

I’ve had a few more “supernatural” customers since the last post, mainly a cyclops, What may have been a skinwalker or something, a walking pile of what I think were the cardboard tubes from toilet paper rolls, and someone who I think is probably my favorite customer. But first lets go over the others.

The “cyclops” is kinda simple, this short dude, probably 3 ft. and some change, and buff as hell. If you told me this guy could pic up a car I would believe you. Anyway he walks gets himself a cup of coffee, and a bottle of oil (the kind for a car). And that was kinda that, he didn’t really say anything.

The skincrawler guy on the other hand was an, interesting one, so its about 11 pm on Wednesday and this dude with a deerskull on his head, complete with antlers, wearing nothing but furs and carrying a spear. He walks down the isles as I try not to make eye contact and comes back to the counter with a tin of spam, a bag of pork rinds, a hershy bar, and a Frostie Root Bear. He hands me a $50, then he says something in a language I don’t recognize, picks up his goods and leaves. It kinda sounded like he said aeiou afgan kid?

Alright, now he have to get the downright most bizarre thing I have seen since taking this job, the TP guy. Alright so its like 3 am, I’m chilling out listening to Moon Base Alpha songs cause I was bored as hell and hoping my shift would just end, when the door opens and in walks in this guy made of cardboard toilet paper tubes with a roll of TP for a head. Like this guy looked like a stick figure. So at this point I’ve paused my music cause, well there is a customer, and cause I kinda like to all my senses when the spooky stuffs happening. Anyway so it goes skipping down the isles like a shitty extra for the sound of music or something, and kept doing so for probably about 25 minutes, I was about to ask if I could help or something like I’m supposed to when it sticks its arms straight out to its sides (think like a T-pose) and it freaking sprints down the chip isle knocking. EVERY. SINGLE. BAG. Off the shelves, all of them. It then runs like its going to go out the door, but instead just runs into the door, exploding and sending cardboard tubes everywhere. Needless to say, after I regained my composer I spent the rest of my shift cleaning up the mess it left behind. If anyone has any ideas what that thing was some info would be appreciated, I’m partly wanting it cause I’m just confused, and partly because I’d like it to never return.

Alright, now onto Cloyed. My new favorite customer. Okay, so normally I’m fine with not being talked to by the customers, mostly cause on a given night most of them are just the creepy locals, and that one guy from the local church who comes in exclusively to preach at me how incest isn’t a sin and is the only way into heaven. So yeah, I’m usually pretty glad my more paranormal visitors aren’t talkative. Then I met Cloiyed. Now I want you to imagine this, its like midnight, you’re listening to Peper Steak while cleaning up a bottle of vegetable oil that decided to explode to make your night more interesting. You go sit down at the counter when a skeleton walks in. I’m not talking like a really skinny person, I mean what looks like one of those skeletons you’d have seen in your biology class on a stand, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, the classic socks and sandals combo, and wearing a pair of those stupid sunglasses, the ones where the lenses are made to look like a pineapple that you’ll find some of the tourist trap places down here selling, also the glasses still have the tag from wherever he bought them from still on it. Anyway so this guy walks up, leans on the counter and says

“Howdy Ho there pal, The name's Cloyed, and I'm just clawing my way through life. Say, mind if I shell out some dough for a pack of those smokes? I'm just dying for a puff."

Now as weird as hell this was I honestly having a hard time keeping from laughing, not quite sure why but I was just kinda over taken with a sense of. Humor? Laughter? Not sure, anyway I managed to keep my composure and ask what brand he wanted.

"Ah, the brand question. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but I'm looking for something that won't make me feel like I've been buried six feet under. Any recommendations that won't leave a bad aftertaste or a skeleton in my closet?"

So, I ask him if he would like some Winston brand ones, (we are supposed to recommend Winston for some reason even though I’ve never met anyone who smokes that brand)

 "Well, I don't mean to sound like a pinchy penny, but I've had a few bad experiences with those before. Let's just say they left a bit of a crabby taste in my mouth. But, hey, I'm not here to point fingers or wave claws. If that's all you got, I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it, or in my case, grin and shell it.”

I then let him know we also have Newports, and to be honest I was starting to wonder if he was blind cause you know there’s a huge cigarette display right behind me.

"Absolutely! You've been such a great help, I'll definitely take a pack. Mind if I pay with cash? I know it's not the most modern way to pay, but I'm just an old-fashioned fellow. I promise it's not counterfeit, I wouldn't want to get caught in a shell game, you know?"

I let him know that he can and he pays me with a Hamilton and waves at me telling me to stay safe as he leaves.

Needless to say that is one of the more pleasant encounters I have had recently.

So uh a few things before I disappear again, first I again want to thank everyone for the comments and likes.

I’ve been thinking about calling the Smorgasbeast “Smorgy” for short, both cause Smorgasbeast is a pain to spell and cause that’s kinda what I’ve been referring to it internally for a bit now, cause Smorgasbeast was just the name I slapped on the thing. Not sure, let me know what you think about that.

I made a shitposty kinda image to show you what the TP guy looked like. I’ll post it on my tumbler and my subreddit r/AstroMartStories

Saw the Tall man again this week, still creepy as all get out.

To u/Katters8811 I’m thinking your theory about Antonio and this job is correct.

To answer some other questions I am 24 years old. Not sure why that is such a popular question.

I do not smoke, never have and don’t as of now plan on picking up the habit.

I’m sleeping a little better now.

[jacobb99]

I saw something strange at my local Astro-Mart pt. 3

Well despite my better judgment. I took the job at Astro-Mart, and its been pretty weird. So, one of you guys recommended I take a look at the security footage, and so the first time I got a chance to I did. And uh it was kinda weird but also underwhelming. So the footage for the day in question is mostly normal, you can even see the point where the Smorgasbeast was banging on the glass, but the second it would have entered the store, the video skips to what looks like a group of guys in hazmat gear cleaning up the store. Sadly I don’t think Antonio got out, they were cleaning up a very large puddle of blood where I saw him get bit by that thing.

Mostly the job is pretty boring, I clock in at eight and go check the store for anything amiss, you know knocked over shelves, misplaced products, mysterious spills on the floor. That kinda thing, other than that the job is pretty boring, just sitting at the register waiting for customers. Most of the time it’s the “Normal” people from around here coming in to buy snacks, there is also this old lady that comes in and buys almost $30 of scratch-off tickets and a pack of Newports every night at 4 am. I mean seriously who gets up at 4 am and thinks, oh boy time for a smoke! Other than that its pretty much just me in the store by myself, thankfully since I’m on the nightshift I’m allowed to listen to music and stuff, I also get a chair. Well its actually a stool, one of those folding black ones you can get at Wal-Mart for like $10, so its not exactly comfortable but its better than standing for my entire shift lol. But based on what kind of places have kept my story up and the comments I’ll get to the part you are actually interested in.

               I  had my first supernatural experience while working here on my Sunday shift, so it was about 2 AM I was playing Skullgirls Mobile (which is really good you should play it) on my phone, when the door opens and I am hit with this horrid smell, it smelled like a mixture of rotten fish, skunk, bad teenager BO, and that smell urine gets when you eat way too much asparagus. I look to the door, and squeezing his way in is this massive dude, probably about 7 ft. and very overweight he looked like one of the dudes from that “My 600 lbs. Life” show except he was covered in this greenish black hair all over his body that was maybe about a foot long. He walks in and he is eating what after I bit of research found out was probably a Burmese python, like it was drumstick. Anyway he manages to squeeze his way inside and makes his way over to the “Fresh Foods” section. He grabs a Klondike bar, he then shambles over to our coffee machine and makes himself a cup of coffee (2 creams, 2 sugars if you were interested) and brings it to the register. Now when he looked me in the eye I probably would have screamed if I hadn’t been putting all my willpower into not vomiting. But I was pretty freaked out cause he looked at me and smiled and he had teeth like a gorilla, with the superlong insisors (I think that’s the word). But I managed to hold my dinner long enough tell him that his total would be $2.92, the guy then reaches behind him and places three dollars and 50 cents on the counter (all of which were very clean I might add), and then he grabbed his purchases and walked out. Now, I have no real proof this guy was supernatural or anything, I mean this is Florida, people eat roadkill down here so and maybe he has some weird deformities or something. So uh yeah not sure what that was, I kinda hope he doesn’t come back because it smelled like him for the rest of the

Now as for the reason I’m posting today. I had an encounter with the “Tall Man” last night.

Ok so theres this big manual in the office right? And its got all kinds of stuff, like what pattern to clean the floor, when to dispose of hotdogs that have been on the roller (idfk what are in these dogs but they are supposed to stay on the roller for 3 months before I can throw them out, almost certain that’s a healthcode violation but according to the internet they technically be there indefinitely if at the right temp?) anyway so it got all these nice laminated pages, but taped on the inside front cover is a piece of paper that reads:

“The Tall Man

Every other Monday a Tall Russian man in a long coat will walk into the store, when he does tell him:

“Your order is in the back sir, please leave your payment up front”

He will place some money on the counter and then head into the freezer, DO NOT leave the register no matter what you hear until after he leaves the store.”

Well, he came in, and this guy way tall, if I had to guess probably 9 ft? He was hunching over to walk around and he was wearing a long gray military coat, after digging around I think It might be a soviet era military parade overcoat? Anyway he was wearing that, and black pants and boots. He walked up the counter and said in a deep, heavily accented voice:

“Has my orrrder arrrived?”

I responded with, “Your order is in the back s-sir, please leave your p-payment up front” because I was pretty freaked out by this point, plus this guy was intimidating as all get out. Anyway he says:

“Zank you, I vill go get it.” Then he sets what I think are rubles down on the counter and heads into the freezer. I do my best to sort through the crumpled up notes and put them in the register, and after a few minutes he walks back through the store carrying two huge boxes labeled “Meat” and walks out the door, he then steps off the sidewalk and vanishes into thin air.

Not sure what to think of that, and honestly I don’t feel as freaked out as I probably should be? Maybe its cause I knew what to expect going in? Not sure, right now I am uh, not sure how to describe it, its like my emotions are muffled? I guess? Not sure how else to describe the feeling?

Um I should answer some of the questions I’ve gotten shouldn’t I.

They pay me $20 an hour and I work from 8 pm to 5 am.

I haven’t seen or heard from Antonio.

Some people have been calling the Smorgasbeast a Caudate? Not sure what that means? All that comes up when I google that word is pictures of brains?

The Monoxide explanation doesn’t make sense, apparently I wasn’t in the store long enough to start hallucinating, and if there was enough to cause them that quickly I would probably be dead.

As to the removal of my post on r/nosleep, not sure what to do about that, the complaints where that I was “out of character” too much? How can I be out of character in a post about events occurring in my life? So I don’t think I will be posting there anymore. If you want more I would recommend wherever you are seeing this but also my tumblr and r/Horror_stories

I was sleeping a little better, but now that I work a nightshift my sleep schedule is all kinds of out of whack. As you could probably guess by what time of day I am posting this at.

I also have a subreddit of my own now r/AstroMartStories so uh yeah if you have any theories or ideas on whats going on head there I guess?

Anyway I want to thank you all so much, I went from being laughed off message boards and told I’m just making this stuff up, to finding some people actually willing to listen to me, it means a lot.

[jacobb99]

Can't Sleep, Here's a Map

Can't seem to fall asleep so I threw together this map of the store

The blue lines are doors, the bottom one is the entrance.

Top right is the bathrooms

One on the bottom of the office is well entrance to the office

Top Left is the back where stuff gets stored, we have a freezer back there that wont fit in the Fresh Food freezers and fridges.

I'm going to try to maybe get some sleep, probably wont till right before my shift when my bed will feel like the most comfortable thing in the world.

[jacobb99]

Weird Shift

I think I just met bigfoot, and he likes Klondike bars. I'll write up a full post when I get a chance.