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A TALE OF RETAIL pt 19
This TALE happened many moons ago.
*a group of juggalos enter the store*
Me: what the hell??? *I'm assaulted by their horrible odors and proceed to spray them with air freshener, unsurprisingly they didn't notice.*
Boss: Did you just...
Me: Yep.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt 17
Me: It's buy one get one half off right now and you can mix & match items.
Customer: so what does that mean?
Me: ...
Me: It's buy one get one half off right now and you can mix & match items.
Idiot: oh.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 16
Me: We have the Harley Quinn jacket right here. Aside from wearing it as part of a costume, it's an actual jacket your girlfriend can wear all year round.
Customer: Yo people wear dis stuff? That some weird shit.
Me: Really? Well its not as weird as someone wearing a jersey of some random sports dude. *Customer is wearing a Braves jersey*
Customer: oh man you got me there.
Me: Yes I know.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 15
Me: You need help with anything?
Customer: JESUS CHRIST!!! YOU SCARED ME!
Me: Wrong god.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 14
*group of upper middle class 20 somethings come in*
D-Bag: *in a mocking manner* man I just want to start cutting myself while I'm in here.
Me: You want to cut yourself whenever you go into a store? Why are you in a mall then?
D-Bag: *clearly has no retort*
Me: well hey I think I know what your looking for...check out this mascara and nail polish perfect for the look youre going for!
*D-bag's friends begin to laugh at him and he proceeds to storm out of the store leaving his friends*
Me: What's your buddy's name?
Friends: Nick!
*i step out of the store*
Me: NICK YOU FORGOT YOUR MASCARA AND NAIL POLISH!!! NICK WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!!! NICK!!! COME BACK!!! NICCCCKKK!!!
*and the mall is full of laughter*
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 13
Customer: *writing down info in her check book* where am I?
Me: You are on the planet Earth.
Customer: *glares at me*
Me: What? Prove me wrong.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 12
Customer: So I used to work here but I no called no showed, could I apply again.
Me: yeah, no.
*while I help his friend*
Former employee: You know I just can't get get behind the quality of clothes here I just could never sell these to someone.
Me: are seriously saying this after asking me to re-hire you? Yeah I expect results with my staff just ask your friend who I'm helping, he quit because I made him do his job.
Friend: This is true.
A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 11
Co-worker: You know all of this bad luck you've been getting just means things are going to paying off in the end.
Other co-worker: *under her breath* or maybe because he is an asshole.
Me: What's that? Someone complaining about how she doesn't get hours but when she's offered hours she's too tired? If I was an asshole you would have lost your job with that comment and remember I'm not your friend I'm your boss.
Other Co-worker: *walks away to clean*
