The Customer is Wrong

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL PT.21

Me: If you grab 2 more shirts one of them will be free.

Customer: No I'm good. Wait can I get one shirt and get half of it for free?

Me: You need rethink what you just said to me.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

A store is not a daycare center, let your kid run around like a jackass and I will laugh my ass off when they crack their head on a table. Go be a lazy parent elsewhere.

Oh and the same goes for your teenage kids you regret having 15 years ago because you thought the person you slept with really "loved" you but you were just high on meth.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

Just because you say "god bless" doesnt mean your condescending attitude is allowed or accepted. You take your imaginary friend and shove it where the bible doesn't allow it. #retail #hypocrisy #luciferwasright

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

Fuck you if you think it's socially acceptable to ignore the staff when they are trying to help you out by putting on your headphones. Oh and your roll of "paper" is just a bunch of ones jackass!

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt 20

Coworker: hey guys just so you know we have some Guns n Roses shirts and they're on sale.

Customer: Guns n Roses sucks.

Coworker: YEAH YOU SUCK!!!

Me: ok dude as a manager I have to tell you, you can never do that again.

Coworker: I know I'm sorry it's you know how I am with Guns n Roses.

Me: I know dude, not as a manager, that was freaking hilarious!!!

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt 19

This TALE happened many moons ago.

*a group of juggalos enter the store*

Me: what the hell??? *I'm assaulted by their horrible odors and proceed to spray them with air freshener, unsurprisingly they didn't notice.*

Boss: Did you just...

Me: Yep.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

That size large you just unfolded is the same as the other large you unfolded you dumb fuck!

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

Repeating a question to a clerk after they just gave you the answer ISN'T GOING TO MAGICALLY CHANGE THE FUCKING ANSWER!!! IT'S STILL NO!!!

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 18

Customer: How much is 30% off of $30? I can't think.

Me: No shit.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

If you come into a store within the last 10 minutes of it being open, you deserve every bit of rudeness. Why? Well I'm pissed you asked.

1. A store is typically open 10-11 hours a day, so if you can't plan your day out then that's on you not the employees who have been there for 8 hours dealing with rude idiots.

2. BECAUSE THEY DON'T FUCKING LIVE THERE AND UNLIKE YOU THEY MADE ACTUAL PLANS!!!

[stoicnerd-blog1]

RETAIL RANTS

I don't know what's worse... a juggalo or a meticulous POP! collector.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt 17

Me: It's buy one get one half off right now and you can mix & match items.

Customer: so what does that mean?

Me: ...

Me: It's buy one get one half off right now and you can mix & match items.

Idiot: oh.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 16

Me: We have the Harley Quinn jacket right here. Aside from wearing it as part of a costume, it's an actual jacket your girlfriend can wear all year round.

Customer: Yo people wear dis stuff? That some weird shit.

Me: Really? Well its not as weird as someone wearing a jersey of some random sports dude. *Customer is wearing a Braves jersey*

Customer: oh man you got me there.

Me: Yes I know.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 15

Me: You need help with anything?

Customer: JESUS CHRIST!!! YOU SCARED ME!

Me: Wrong god.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 14

*group of upper middle class 20 somethings come in*

D-Bag: *in a mocking manner* man I just want to start cutting myself while I'm in here.

Me: You want to cut yourself whenever you go into a store? Why are you in a mall then?

D-Bag: *clearly has no retort*

Me: well hey I think I know what your looking for...check out this mascara and nail polish perfect for the look youre going for!

*D-bag's friends begin to laugh at him and he proceeds to storm out of the store leaving his friends*

Me: What's your buddy's name?

Friends: Nick!

*i step out of the store*

Me: NICK YOU FORGOT YOUR MASCARA AND NAIL POLISH!!! NICK WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!!! NICK!!! COME BACK!!! NICCCCKKK!!!

*and the mall is full of laughter*

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 13

Customer: *writing down info in her check book* where am I?

Me: You are on the planet Earth.

Customer: *glares at me*

Me: What? Prove me wrong.

[stoicnerd-blog1]

A TALE OF RETAIL pt. 12

Customer: So I used to work here but I no called no showed, could I apply again.

Me: yeah, no.

*while I help his friend*

Former employee: You know I just can't get get behind the quality of clothes here I just could never sell these to someone.

Me: are seriously saying this after asking me to re-hire you? Yeah I expect results with my staff just ask your friend who I'm helping, he quit because I made him do his job.

Friend: This is true.