btw i firmly deeply believe "at the beach in every life" by gigi perez has one of if not THE best album closers AND album title drops . by a LONG shot like are you fucking joking
i’ve begun to lose interest in writing ATBIEL :’) it feels like a chore to actively sit down and brainstorm for it which sucks bc i rmb how fun it used to feel aaaaaaa ;;0;;
i think i’ve gotten too ambitious w the premise and the challenge of writing so many characters with the reader has been discouraging me from wanting to write and i’m honestly so sad abt it :(
super sorry to everyone who’s been so kind in expressing their love and enthusiasm for the series !! 🥹
i’m NOT abandoning it entirely but it’ll be on indefinite hiatus until i feel the urge to continue it in the future :’D hopefully when the sbr anime comes out perhaps ouugghh
if i do start any series in the future, i’ll be sure to plan the entire thing out in advance first so this doesn’t happen again 😭 and i’ll probably keep them fairly short so that i don’t burn out
curious to hear your analysis of at the beach in every life as taivan (if you’re up for it/willing to ofc!) (i saw the rb lol)
ALWAYS UP FOR IT THANK YOU PIXEL. this entire yap is LONG so it's gonna be under the cut.
Saw it by the water
Doin' all the things for the better
(THE lake scene. The one everyone uses in edits where Tai just stares at Van while she (Van) plays chicken with the rest of the team.)
Then I watched you send it back into the ring
And I heard about the twister
That lives inside your heart
(Van finding out about Other Tai!! The twister is also not only Other Tai but also her complex relationship with her place in society as a young closeted Black lesbian in the 1990s. This could also additionally apply to Van’s terrible terrible home life [Fuck You Vicky Palmer I Hate You <33333])
If you speak, then I would move
Then I would run right where you are
(Van attending to Tai in the attic. “if you speak, then i would move) refers to what Other Tai tells Van and how Van reacts to it, “then i would run right where you are” is Van IMMEDIATELY finding and saving Tai when she finds out she’s missing)
Then I ripped on through your blouse
As it ripped right through my house
I never knew, I never knew you had
Such a filthy mouth
(Okay. Okay. This is awkward. So Other Tai’s main thing is how badly she carnally wants Van right. Yeah. Sorry Pixel. But also comma the “such a filthy mouth” really reminds me of “you’re so fucking beautiful” which is vEry related to Taivan being freaks in the woods but it’s sweet :( i love them i miss them)
But you love me like my mother
And you kiss me like your wife
(THIS ONE IS ROUGH FROM A VAN PERSPECTIVE. I think to Van, post-rescue Tai seems SO ready and willing to just. toss her aside. very similar to how Van’s mother doesn’t even give Van an IOTA of positive attention. Fuck You Vicky Palmer I Hate You Part Two <333333. Kiss me like your wife is adult timeline. Tai is very much still married to Simone. uhggghhhghghgh i hate these stupid lesbians i hate them so much i miss them so bad)
And I swear to you I'll give you
More than I have tonight
(I THINK this is post-dine-and-dash Tai talking to Van. Promising her more of these moments and dates and more of this love forever and ever <3333 fuckk bro <3333)
'Cause the wolves are at my neck
I can't talk about that yet
(WEEEEELP. I wonder who this lyric could refer to. certainly not mauled-in-the-face-and-neck-by-wolves-mcgee. certainly not repress-my-trauma-and-develop-a-dissociative-disorder-because-of-it-mcgee. certainly not both of them.)
They've got shit inside those hearts
One day, they'll have to repent
(Probably just an outside perspective on the YJS in general. EsPECIALLY applies to Tai’s political campaign and being attacked by opponents.)
On judgement day, they'll be
Glued right to the bed
(Either Van in the hospital bed or in Tai’s spare room being like “I signed the DNR what more do you want” or whatever she says i forgor. leaning way more towards the first one.)
And you'll look and tell me, "Baby
You remember what I said?"
(X MARKS THE SPOT!!!!!!! VAN REMEMBERING X MARKS THE SPOT!!!!!!!!!)
I know who you are
You'll be fine
I know who you are
'Cause you're mine
(This lyric isn’t anything. specific. it’s just so. so taivan. their love for each other. their devotion and codependency. the way they define each other. BROOOO)
There I saw you standing
Must have been a holy light
'Cause I can't see and I can't feel
But the color in your eyes
(reminds me of both the tree joke from when they’re on shrooms and ALSO the “you helped me see, hear, and sleep” from Tai in season 2. forgot which ep sorry)
Is sayin' if my dreams come up empty
And I wash up on the shore
You would find me at the beach
In every life, through every door
(the fucking CONCEPTTTT of them being together in every life. sorry. not what this applies to bc that doesnt happen in canon (YET. one can dream.) this more applies to Tai and Van finding each other in every part of each others lives even when they least expect to. goddddd)
With a Boombox at your father's
Walking with you at the morgue
(Boombox just reminds me of Van bc of analog tech? walking with you at the morgue reminds me SO much of them attending Nat’s funeral tg and their entire experience and relationship to death in the wilderness.)
You don't have to search when I know
Everything you're looking for
(Van and Tai KNOW each other. they know what the other wants. they know what the other needs. they don’t need to ask. they’ve known each other all this time. FUCKKKKKK UGHHH I MISS THEM COME BACK TO ME TAIVAN)
Oh, and we could talk about it
Or just stare at the wall
(They’re both super repressed and have many unresolved issues we KNow this. i think they’re both very content to not talk about them which is. not good communication. but. um.)
But I think that you know better than
What they think they call
A luminary, no one
Is all they'll ever be
(VAN KNOWS TAI MUCH BETTER AND DEEPER AND MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE. To some, Tai is just a senator. a visionary. a pioneer. to Van, Tai is everything. she KNOWS her.)
And how could you be no one
When you're everything to me?
(Similar deal to last time. just. ugh. oh my god. theyre SOOOOO <333333333)
You're everything to me
You're everything to me
You're everything to me
(WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH)
I just wanna say I love you
One more time
I love you, goodbye
(FAIRLY CERTAIN their last words to each other were “I love you”. hhhhh everyone thank gigi perez for inventing Taivan and also comma making me so insane that i want to bash my head into a wall until i fall over and die)
ur Johnny fic is SO good that Ive set on a mission to recreate their dynamic in tomodachi life… if there’s a will there’s a way….
Also the new chapter was so good omg u did such a great job skipping over the action in a way that didn’t just completely ignore it! I’m so impressed actually like it still flowed rlly naturally and at no point did it get boring ( ´▽｀)!!
IM ON THE VERGE OF TEARS THIS IS SO CUTE ;;0;; omg,,, if you don't mind,, please update me on what happens i wanna know so bad also Johnny's dancing is killing me look at him go
also thank you!! :D i'm vvv happy you enjoyed the latest part heheh
