#ateez jongho

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Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 16

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word count: 2030K

~~~~~~~ Jongho ~~~~~~~

Walking usually helps ease my mind but today doesn't seem like a short walk will keep the questions at bay. 

Taking a left turn, I spot the familiar small bookshop. The one we all liked going to before debut, the same one where Yunho would rant about comics and Seonghwa about Star Wars. A faint smile curls on my lips as I continue to walk, looking through the window. My breath gets caught, for a moment I simply stare in a daze. 

Blinking once and then again, my first thought was that the exhaustion finally got to me. But this is no hallucination, it's real. It is her, sitting near the back with a book in her hands. The coffee next to her is long gone, completely unaware of the world outside. Exhaling softly, I shake away the thoughts. "Okay...I'm not hallucinating," pulling down the sleeves of my hoodie, I adjust the black baseball cap before pushing open the door. 

The small bell above it chimes, "Annyeonghaseyo," The cashier greets with a smile. I give her a small nod and turn my gaze back to where Lyla now stands sliding the book into her. Slinging the bookbag over her shoulder, she tosses away the cup before walking down into the thriller novel aisle. Something about seeing her outside the hospital felt strange, it felt more real, and more personal. 

Walking up the stairs, I take another closer step to the aisle seeing her stand there in deep thought made my chest ache. Taking one more step felt like the distance kept growing, the wooden floorboard creaks and this time Lyla glances up. 

Guilt consumes me seeing her jolt, the book stand beside her nearly falling over. With quick reflexes still intact, I grab the metallic stand, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I feel terrible especially given the circumstances we're both in. "Jongho..." Her expression changes, why does my chest feel warm and tingly whenever she says my name? 

~~~~~~~ Lyla ~~~~~~~

Letting myself feel the gentle breeze as I rest my head on the table, the smell of coffee invades my nostrils. For the very first time, I feel at ease. Used to spending every second of my time working and making sure my sisters are alright.

I've spent my whole life working and taking care of everyone that I've forgotten what it's like to rest.

Exhaling softly, I lift my head and glance at the book. I was able to complete it in a week, slipping the book into the bookbag I tossed the empty cup into the trash bin. Boredom creeps in now that I have nothing else to do, and I walk into the aisle of thriller novels. The store's bell chimes, "Annyeonghaseyo" Hye Joo greets the customer.

Scanning the shelves for anything eye-catching catching, the floorboard creaks. In the corner of my eye, I can see a silhouette.

Jolting lightly, I accidentally drop the book holder stand, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare," His voice genuine as he picks up the metallic stand. Heat rushes up to my cheeks in embarrassment, "Jongho..." his name feels casual on my tongue. His expression is adorable; he looks dazed, guilty, and confused. "Lyla, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you," He repeats as he fixes the book stand, I quickly shake my head. "No, it's okay," I smile faintly, he looks convinced well almost. 

A small laugh escapes my lips; I turn away to gather myself.  Unsure if his expression was the reason or the song by MeloMance that began to play out of the blue that caused me to laugh, "I'm sorry," It was my turn to apologize as I turned to face him. Jongho glances around the bookstore before looking at me, he smiles faintly. "I was walking by and I saw you through the window," He admits, the tips of his ears are a pinkish red.

I raise a brow in perplexity, "You did?" crossing my arms. Jongho hesitates for a moment, he fiddles with the sleeves of his hoodie. "I thought I was hallucinating you," He looks down, I laugh softly. Jongho sighs softly, "That's a sign Jongho," I tease lightly. 

Stepping closer to him, "Hallucinations are a sign that you're not getting enough sleep, Mr. Choi" Jongho looks at me. The realization of his height made my heart stutter briefly, clearing my throat softly. "Probably," He smiles, my heart flutters. I quickly look away from his eyes, absolutely not...don't start fluttering just because he smiles.

Even if his smile looks so gummy and like it could melt anyone's heart, the way his eyes turn into soft crescents when his smile reaches his eyes. Please don't start, warning myself didn't help the small smile from returning to my lips. 

"Right, so is that what brought you to the bookshop?" My question has his ears fuming red, Jongho clears his throat. "Not really," He pauses I walk down the steps, "This bookstore...my members and I used to come here after practice back before debut," He follows. I look at him perplexed, shit. "Really?" My expression gave away my dazed state, Jongho smirks. "You know for a fan, you don't know a lot about us, do you?" His question makes me chuckle nervously, sitting back at the same table Jongho takes the empty seat. 

"I may be a fan but that doesn't mean I'm going to be spending my time trying to invade your guys' privacy...Honestly, I had no idea about this place until Yonsei brought--of course," I pause and shake my head, Yonsei is a bigger fan than me.

A fan that knows when not to cross the line of stalking, Jongho smiles. "Yonsei, she's probably a bigger fan than me," I admit, Jongho chuckles. "I knew the moment she saw us entering the elevators," He admits, I look at him confused. "She had a Yunho photocard hanging beside her badge," He explains, a small laugh escapes my lips. Looking down at the table, "Gosh, I finally have something to use against her," I smile. 

Time feels slow as the bookstore grows quieter, Jongho returns carrying two cups of coffee. Placing one in front of me, "I wasn't sure what you liked," he says before sitting across from me. Looking at the cup the smell of salted caramel fills my nostrils, "It's salted caramel drizzle," the same coffee order I had earlier. Taking a small sip, "So," I hold the cup lightly. "How have you been since everything?" My question has him leaning back, "Honestly?" He looks at me. I nod, "Honestly," I repeat the word. Jongho sighs softly, "Strange," He pauses. 

I lean forward a little, "After the news aired, everything changed. People recognize me everywhere now, some are sympathetic, and some want to know what happened. Others just want a picture; even new reporters have been seeking interviews with me." He gives a tired laugh, my heart aches. "I understand it comes with being an idol, but after the attack...I don't really enjoy being watched anymore," His voice sounds strained from lack of energy, "I'm sorry," A small sigh leaves my lips. "It's not your fault," Jongho says, I shake my head. "I know, I just..." I pause unsure if I should continue, "I understand the feeling," That made him pause. 

For a moment neither of us spoke, maybe we didn't need to. We both understood what it's like to wonder whether the person standing behind you was simply another stranger or someone who had been following you. 

Jongho eventually reaches into his bookbag, "There's something I want to show you," He pulls out the familiar small black notepad, I'd given him when I finished restitching him. "You carry that around with you?" My question makes him pause and look at me, "Now I do," He opens it. The pages were filled with handwriting, dates, times, locations, descriptions, and names.

Small details that most people would have dismissed as insignificant, staring at the pages made me wonder. "You've been keeping track of everything?" Flipping to the next page, Jongho exhales softly. "Everything I can remember," He flips through several pages stopping on a specific page, "When the first letter began, the first gift, and the photographs started. The calls, where I saw the same person more than once, things that happened before the attack," His voice was anxious and filled with fear, but I knew he wasn't going to admit it. 

My hand rests on top of his, "You've been keeping track of everything..." I pause. Jongho looks at me, "I don't want to forget anything important," He sighs. Taking the notepad from his view, I flip through the pages. There was something almost unsettling about how organized it looked, Jongho didn't simply write down what happened to him; he had built a timeline, a pattern. 

And judging by the number of crossed-out theories and rewritten notes, he clearly had spent far too many hours thinking about it. "You're serious about this," I murmured and looked up at him, "I'm serious about finding who's doing this," His voice was quiet but there was certainty behind it. "And I'm serious about making sure it stops," 

Closing the notepad gently, "Jongho, you shouldn't have to investigate this yourself, you were attacked," My voice was filled with concern. And I am worried about him, stuff like this can take a toll on someone like him. A heavy mental toll, "I know," he says. I look at him cautiously, "Then let the police handle it," I've seen this before. People get hurt like this, "I am," He points to the notepad. "This isn't me trying to play detective, it's me trying to remember. Making sure I write anything that can help them," I nod slowly. That makes sense but uncertainty crosses paths with me, especially considering how much fear he's been carrying since the attack. 

Jongho looks down at his coffee, "When did it start for you?" his question has my fingers tighten slightly around the cup.  "The letters?" I look at him, Jongho nods. "Everything," he says, letting out a small breath I look down at the coffee. "Mhmm, a little around mid-July," I answer honestly, Jongho's expression changes. "Mid-July?" I nod, "I remember because I had just finished a particularly exhausting night shift, the first letter showed up in my mailbox," Taking a small sip of the coffee made me feel warmer. "What did it say?" I fiddle with the ring on my finger, "Nothing threatening, it was almost flattering," I admit. 

Twirling the ring around, Jongho listens carefully. "But then the gifts started happening, a few days after the letters," My brows knit in confused he opens the notepad, "You're seriously taking notes," I bite back a smile. Jongho looks at me, his eyes sharpen. "I told you," He smiles faintly, I chuckle lightly. "Do you remember the exact date?" He pulls out a black pen; I smile seeing the cute little bear sitting on top of the cap. "July nineteen," his pen stops, for several seconds he stares at the page. "What is it?" My question has him turning the notepad towards me, my heart pounds against my ribcage. 

Jongho - first gift July sixteen

Lyla - first letter July nineteen

The dates were exactly three days apart, my smile disappears. Jongho flips through the pages, "And this is when I received the first photograph," He points to another entry. My stomach tightens, "That was around the same time I received another letter," My words falter. 

The coffee shop suddenly seemed emptier and uneasy, Jongho looks at me. "Lyla," I meet his eyes, concern and fear visible in them. "What if these two--what if these two are connected somehow?" His question makes me stand up abruptly, "That's in-" I pause unsure and terrified of what to say. A chill travels down my spine, I want to dismiss it, tell him that it's all a coincidence, but the dates were sitting between us in black ink.

And suddenly the coincidence doesn't feel like a coincidence anymore. But why me?

[bangchanbabygurl]

Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 15

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word count: 1133k

~~~~~~~ Jongho ~~~~~~~

After spending three full hours pre-recording at the company, my back began to ache. A tired sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back into the lounge chair, beginning to trade the microphones and studio lights for comfortable clothes, and the familiar chaos felt nice.

No need to worry if mistakes were made, if my dancing was sloppy, or if my pitch was rough made relief rushed in. Tugging the strings of my hoodie I glance at the others, seated at the picnic table laughing. "There's no way you forgot the lyric," Hongjoong laughs at Mingi, Wooyoung's laugh made him flustered.

"I didn't forget! I was just unprepared okay," Mingi defended himself, Yunho ruffles his blonde hair. "Let him be, we all know he's just a princess who's used to special treatment," He teases, Wooyoung rolls his eyes. "Yeah, because someone made him get used to it," His tone playful, San shook his head, laughing into his drink. Serenity erupts as I watch them, just listening to them bickering and laughing made all the loneliness go away.

Exhaling softly, I pick up the book from the stand. Inspecting the front and back cover, curiosity killed the cat, but when I saw how thrilled Lyla was while I handed her the hardcover. I had to know and see how good of a book it is. Opening the book, flipping to the chapter I had left off. My expressions have always been subtle and 'nonchalant' but the more I read, the more I myself am questioning so many things. Like the piano scene, that threw me off so much.

Slotting the bookmark in the middle, feeling overwhelmed and confused. Letting out a sigh, my phone vibrates. Looking down at the screen I sit up and unlock it, false alarm is what it was. I had asked manager Kim to look into Lyla's stalking case, when he reported to me that it began on the same day as the saesang started sending me letters.

Having manager Kim investigate was nothing invasive—just enough to understand whether there had been any recent incidents, whether the hospital had increased security, and whether there was anything that suggested the stalker was still active. It's a simple concern, nothing wrong with being concerned about someone's well-being.

Shaking the thoughts away I resumed reading the book instead of staring at my phone, but why can't my mind focus on the words? Always finding its way to go back to that night at the hospital, the night I had awakened from the dreadful nightmare. The smell of metal, the sound of someone choking on their own blood, and the feeling of her lifeless body. Cold shivers ran down my spine as I adjusted myself in the chair, terror had shredded small bits of my sanity that night. But when I felt the warmth of her body, heard the softness of her voice as she assured me it was all just a cruel dream.

I can still remember the faint scent of her perfume, sweet almost sugary. Not just sweet like candy but almost as if it was infused with florals, a cozy woody musk that makes you somehow notice a person can be delicate and bright. Earlier during a pre-recording video set, I noticed it again when one of the stylists had sprayed something similar yet for some odd reason, I'd expected to see her the moment I turned around.

Terrifying, that I will admit. Terrifying that this feeling is slowly becoming more than just a phase, it terrifies me because people like me can't always have what they want. It scares me knowing that all I can do is admire from afar and try not to get caught slipping further into the nonsense of it all. It scares me that I've only known her for a week and four days, yet these weirdly new emotions have begun to make an appearance. Making their presence known in front of those who mention her name, blaming them for the constant teasing the members throw at me.

Forcing myself to flip the next page, Yunho's voice shatters my thoughts. "Look at him," I blinked, looking up from the book. A rush of confusion runs through me as the seven of them stare at me, "What?" My voice is stern. Wooyoung immediately joins Yunho's charade, "He's lost it, he spent a whole week in the hospital and now look at him," I frown.

"What the heck are you two talking about?" Placing the bookmark back inside I stand from the lounge chair and walk over to them. "You're reading!" Wooyoung grins, Seonghwa looks confused same with Yeosang, "Jongho is always reading that's nothing new Woo," Yeosang says before shoving a chip into his mouth. Yunho shakes his head, "Yeah but it's usually horror or thriller novels, not romance novels especially like that one," He points to the King of Pride book.

Defensively I shield the book cover with my hands, "It's just a book, nothing to make a big deal out of," Protesting as Yunho and Wooyoung cackle throwing their head back. "It's not a normal romance novel Jong..." Wooyoung smiles mischievously, the tips of my ears burn yet I keep my expression neutral. "Don't start," Yunho smirks, "I heard that book has some rather very interesting scenes," His voice holds nothing but mischief. Yeosang's brows knit in confusion, "What do you mean by that?" He questions.

Wooyoung grins and without hesitation, he doesn't sugarcoat it, "Porn, it's practically porn with romance and angst but in written form," His comment earns him a smack on the head from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. "Yah, tone it down a little," San says crossing his arms giving them that cold stare he always gives. Yunho smiles and chuckles, "Also, isn't that the same book you had us look for in the bookstore--" San's gaze narrows as he looks at the book in my hands.

Seonghwa's lips curve upwards, "Lyla!" Realization and excitement erupt in his tone. Great now the tormenting teasing begins, "Wow, Jongie, you are down bad," Mingi laughs. Yunho's mouth drops open, "I was curious about it," letting my gaze drop to the ground. "Sure," Hongjoong says, "It's a good book overall," Wooyoung snickers.

"Of course it is," he leans back into the chair, Yunho regains himself and laughs. The burning in my ears creeps down my neck and probably my face, "Our little bear is crushing hard," Seonghwa sighs in delight. "I am not," My voice cracks slightly causing them to burst into laughter, clearing my throat I look at Seonghwa. "I'm heading out, I'll be back before night falls," He smiles and nods, walking back inside the house a sigh of relief escapes me. They can call it whatever they want.

[bangchanbabygurl]

Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 14

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word count: 1518k

~~~~~~~ Lyla ~~~~~~~

Her words replay in my mind as I rinse out the bowl, Dr. Bae's voice was filled with concern that day.

"Labs should be done soon but I have a serious question for Lyla," It gave me chills whenever Dr. Bae spoke in a certain authoritative way, "Ask away," My smile was small and shaky. "You're aware of hypermobility, correct?" Her eyes fell to the chart on her clipboard, nodding as I fiddled with the loose paper tape on my hand. "Seeing the results for the physical test I had on you...you show symptoms of Hypermobility, and from the answers you've given to the questions it all leads to Hypermobility," She looks up from her clipboard.

A sigh escapes my lips, placing the bowl on the dish racket I turn the faucet off. Glancing at the clock I walk into the living room, plopping myself onto the couch the exhaustion erupts.

Fatigue was a constant thing for me, but why now? Why does my body suddenly want to break out of survival mode in my twenties? Thinking back to Dr. Rhoades therapy session, 'You've spent your whole life taking care of everyone and keeping everything intact that your body forgot what it meant to rest. It fell into survival mode because it felt the need to stay alert,' letting my head fall into my palms.

Dr. Rhoades was the reason why I moved out of my parents ' house at the age of nineteen, it was a very difficult choice, having to leave behind my younger sisters was hard to comprehend. But it all went in vain, my mom's manipulation and guilt-tripping still have control over me.

Every payday I send her at least one thousand to her bank account, yet it's not enough for her. It's never enough, she would use my sisters against me because she knows very well how far I'm willing to go far and beyond for them. I practically raised them; they're not just my sisters they're my kids too.

Tears stream down my cheeks and the sobs slip past my lips, gosh what's wrong with me? I'm so exhausted, physically and mentally. There are days where I just don't feel like doing anything not even going into work, days where my body doesn't feel like it belongs to me.

And now the obsessive stalker has made it impossible to live a normal life, paranoia striking every time I check the mail, when there's a knock on the door, and it grows worse when I have to run errands the feeling of being watched or followed. I don't even feel safe in my own home, the sound of an alarm clock going off has me lifting my head.

Looking at the time I get up from the couch and head into the bathroom, opening the cabinet my fingers wrap around the orange pill bottle. Antidepressants...it's no wonder my mind began to spiral I forgot to take it this morning. Exhaling sharply, I pop the white pill into my mouth, pick up the water bottle, twist it open, and take a sip.

Closing the cabinet, I step back into the living room. It's strange being home, I'm so used to spending every minute of my day at the hospital or the morgue. Turning the lights off in the kitchen and living my phone chimes on the coffee table, signaling I've received a text message. Making sure the doors and windows are locked, I exhale softly walk over to the table, and pick up my phone.

My heart skips a beat, unlocking the phone I read the text.

'Hi, I know it's semi-late, but I wanted to check in and see how you're doing.' A smile tugs at the corner of my lips, wiping away the tears as I begin to type.

'It's okay,'

'I'm doing alright, what about you? How's physical therapy?'

Chewing on the inside of my cheek I glance at the front door one last time before heading into my bedroom, closing the door I lock it shut.

The chime pushes out the thought before it reaches my mind, 'It's been productive, I don't have that ridiculous limp anymore,' A chuckle leaves my lips. 'And the nightmares? Are you still having them?' I set my phone on the nightstand and begin to get ready for bed. Removing the hair clip, my hair falls past my shoulders, staring into the mirror I find myself feeling out of place.

I'm tired, so tired to even do my usual facial routine. Glancing at the bed exhaustion washes over me, turning the lights off I slip into my bed. A sigh of relief and delight leaves me; the phone chimes again. Dimming the brightness of the screen I open his text, giddiness erupts. 'Honestly? I haven't had any night terrors since I left the hospital.'

Typing swiftly yet rapidly I turn to my left side, 'That's great, I'm glad you're sleeping well and glad that you're almost at your hundred percent,' The smile slowly fades as the unknown number appears again. It's them...they're back, but then again, they never left.

Fear creeps in as I read over the text again, 'You're smiling for him too much,' Shivers run down my spine. Sitting up I could feel the tears resurfacing, my gaze wandering around the room in fear. How? How can they see me? What if they're in here?

The phone ringing makes me tremble, looking at the screen relief only lasted for two seconds. Jongho's calling...clearing my throat I swipe to answer it and put it on speaker.

It's quiet, only briefly. "Hey, I'm sorry did I wake you?" His voice is soft; my eyes stay glued to the window. "N-no, no you didn't," Hoping he doesn't hear the fear in my tone, "Ah, I see...are you having trouble sleeping?" His question makes me chuckle. "Something like that...so um what made you call?" letting my gaze fall to the screen of my phone.

Jongho chuckles nervously, I could already imagine the soft pink tint on his cheeks. Biting down on my bottom lip, he clears his throat. "I wanted to make sure you're alright, and of course you could say you are through text..." He pauses; a small smile pulls on my lips.

"But through voice it's difficult to mask," He continues, I fiddle with the brown bunny beside me. "Unless you're extremely good at acting," My words probably have him on edge, Jongho hums softly. "I would say you're at a level fifty for acting," His teasing tone makes me feel less stressed, letting the worry fade slowly. I laugh and shake my head, "I guess so..." unsure what else to tell him. It's strange, awkward? No, weird? Perhaps, I mean he's an idol anyone would feel unsure of how to act or what to say around them.

Picking up the brown bunny, I mess with its pink bow. "Have you started reading the book?" Glancing at the hardcover book sitting on the nightstand, my cheeks flush in embarrassment at the sight of using a photocard as a bookmark.

Exhaling softly, "I have, actually I should be finished reading it hmm probably this weekend. Depending on my work schedule," I admit. Faint rustling and a 'be quiet' make me grin like an idiot. I don't doubt that he's telling off one of his members, "Work schedule? I thought they gave you a week off from work," His memory is sharp just a tad bit. I open my mouth, "Ah of course, the morgue shift..." The realization in his tone made me laugh loudly.

"Yeah, the morgue. But it's just night shifts, it's nothing difficult either well besides the amount of blood and limbs," I taunt, Jongho chuckles but I could hear someone else snicker in the back. A faint 'ow' slips in, "Jongho..." his name made my tongue feel fizzy.

"Yes?" I smile and look at the time, "You're not alone, are you?" he stays quiet. "Thought so...I could hear whoever is there with you," Jongho laughs nervously but he wasn't careful, 'shut up both of you,' was audible. I cackle and lie back into the bed, fiddling with the bunny's ears my gaze stays on the ceiling.

Mentally counting the glow-in-the-dark stars and moons I had plastered on the ceiling, "I'm sorry about that, it's only Yunho and W-Wooyoung being nosy..." Jongho winces. "Do you have me on speaker?" he sighs and answers my question, "Thankfully, I do not,"

I look at the time, eleven forty-five. "Well, I'm glad that you're okay...you get some sleep," Jongho halts my next question, I let out a small huff of breath. "Yeah? You should too," Wooyoung's laugh could be heard from the other side of the phone, shaking my head as a smile spreads across my mouth. "Goodnight, Lyla," Goosebumps cover my body, I grip the bunny tightly. It scares me a little...how casual he sounds saying my name. "G-goodnight Jongh," and I wonder if it scares him too.

[bangchanbabygurl]

Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 13

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word count: 774

~~~~~~~ Jongho ~~~~~~~

It's only been two days since I was discharged from the hospital, yet my body likes to remind me of the attack every time I try to go on about my day. The sprain in my back meant mandatory physical therapy sessions every day before and after recording sessions, I hate it.

Not the exercises, just the fact that I had too much time to think. "Slowly," The therapist reminds me, "Don't force the movement," I nod. It was all over the news now, the attack, the hospital stays, the stab wound, and the recovery process. I'm reminded every day and wherever I go, exhaling softly my eyes stare blankly at the beige wall.

My body in therapy, my mind however wasn't. It was back at home, that night in the dark, the staircase, the shadow, and the sudden shove. My body hitting the floor, the flash of silver, and the pain made my jaw tighten. Replaying the memory dozens of times, searching for anything new and useful. A voice, a scent, a face, anything at this point but every time I reach the moment the figure steps towards me my memory becomes a blur and adrenaline. Who are you?

Fingers curling slightly, then without warning she slips into my mind. Lyla... the questions about her well-being erupt. Is she okay? Is the stalker still following her? Did she receive another letter, another gift? Are police still investigating? Or is she doing what I've been doing all this time--pretending everything is fine because admitting you're afraid somehow made it worse?

"Jongho" Everyone knows fear is weakness; it only causes the threat to thrive off it. "Jongho?" Will the saesang come back when they realize I'm still breathing? Their motive...what hell was their motive to break in and attack?

"Jongho," A hand on my right shoulder startles me out of my thoughts, "Huh?" The therapist pauses and glances at Hongjoong. "You space out on us," Seonghwa says giving my shoulder a soft squeeze, a tired sigh falls past my lips. "You've been doing that a lot lately," Hongjoong says with a small smile, I look away. "I'm fine," Seonghwa sits beside me, "You don't have to say you're fine just because you don't know how to explain what's wrong," His voice is cautious and tender almost motherly.

The question rushes in, the one I've been avoiding for a while. Rubbing my sweaty hands on my sweatpants, "I just keep thinking about that night," My voice is steady. Hongjoong's expression becomes serious, "I keep trying to remember anything I might've missed," Pausing to swallow the stupid lump in my throat. "Anything that could tell who they were, but every time I remember that same feeling from that night creeps up on me. Making me lose sight of why I'm even remembering," Seonghwa listens quietly, my shoulders tense. "Then I start to think about Lyla..." I whisper her name, Hongjoong raises an eyebrow.

"Not like hyung," I look at them both, Seonghwa's lips twitch. "Sure," he says, rolling my eyes at him. "I'm serious," I look down at my lap, "Lyla had told me she herself has and still experiences what I've been through before the attack," Their expressions darken. "And the fact that we both don't know if they're still out there makes me feel anxious," I admit, Seonghwa rubs my back softly. "I keep wondering if she's safe and okay," My voice became quieter, Hongjoong leans forward. "Have you contacted her?" his question made chills run down my spine, countless times but cowardice takes over.

Hesitating, I shake my head. "Why?" Seonghwa looks at me carefully, glancing out the window. Rain pours down lightly, "I find myself backing out every time my finger hovers over her contact's name," Hongjoong places a reassuring hand on my right shoulder. "Well, Jongho, it sounds to us that you found yourself caring for her," His words made me feel flush with warmth, a heavy sigh escaped my lips.

"I do care..." Admitting it felt good, "But I'm too much of a coward to call," Seonghwa laughs softly. "Maybe start with texting, I mean you had no problem doing that the day you were discharged. Why now?" Hongjoong suggests, looking down at the number written on a folded purple note sheet that I had slipped in the back of my phone case. "I guess, talking in person was the reason it felt easy," Seonghwa hums softly, Hongjoong stands up tall. "Start by texting, what's the worst thing that could go wrong?" He smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

Maybe both of them are right, small steps first.

[bangchanbabygurl]

Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 12

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word count: 2119k

~~~~~~~ Lyla ~~~~~~~

Nothing seems enough for her, doesn't matter how hard I try or how much effort I put into it, it's still not enough. I could fall sick or feel dizzy and she would still consider me lazy; exhaustion eats me away every day.

Having to be a sister, a parent, a translator, and a therapist is slowly eating away my childhood. Watching her workday and night since we can't rely on the man who's supposed to ensure this 'home' is stable, the one who told her she didn't have to worry about getting her hands dirty.

Exhaling softly, I enter the house we all call home the smell of sage and herbs fills my nostrils. "You're back early," She looks at me with suspicion, setting the bag of groceries onto the dining table I let my tired gaze meet hers. "Work was slow today, they had to cut some of us off," explaining my early arrival, our relatives and family friends found it crazy that a sixteen-year-old was going to school while working two part-time jobs. It irritated my mom; she hated that they took pity on me.

Friday, discharge day was here now. Looking at the time my heart felt heavy, "Hey Lyla, Dr. Bae just signed off your discharge papers," Yonsei hands me the paperwork we force patients to take with them.

Paperwork that gave simple instructions of the Dos and Don'ts of whatever reason they were in the hospital for; a tired sigh falls past my lips as I adjust the hem of my scrubs. "He gets discharged today in the afternoon," Yonsei says softly, I look at her perplexed. "I-I know," Clearing my throat, I slip on my sneakers.

"I'm glad...I can go back to working nights again," I smile and fold the blanket, Yonsei lets out a disappointed sigh. "Workaholic," She mutters, I chuckle. "So, how will you cope?" She smirks, crossing her arms.

My brows knit in confusion as I turn to face her, "What do you mean?" The question has her grinning. "Oh, come on Lyla...Jongho has visited you twice even though he has a sprained back," Yonsei lowers her voice, I toss the blanket against her chest. "So? That doesn't mean anything," I clip my badge on the left pocket of the scrub top, Yonsei chuckles.

Her gaze falls to the book sitting on the coffee table, "Sure it doesn't yet he bought you a book...and not just any book Lyla," Yonsei picks up the hardcover copy of Ana Huang's King of Pride. Nibbling on my bottom lip, "That's normal, people can gift things to others. Besides it was merely a thank-you gift, nothing more" denying her weird illusions.

Last night Jongho stopped by with a gift, of course I was confused and found it to be an act of kindness. "You mentioned how you couldn't wait to get your hands on the new edition of this book...I had Seonghwa and San look for it," His explanation of the gift had sent shivers down my spine and my heart into cardiac arrest, I tried to kindly reject it but he had this soft, innocent look in his eyes that I just couldn't.

"Yes, that's true but most people don't listen or pay attention. And Jongho...he listened once," Yonsei says handing me the book, shaking my head. "You're reading too much into this Yonsei," I warn her and take the book into my grasp. "Am I?" She smiles before walking out of the room, annoyance rattles my bones.

Sometimes I think Yonsei lets her imagination spiral into delusions, picking up my bookbag I turn the lights off. Walking out of the room I spot Dr. Kim and Rachel at the far end of the hallway talking, it looks like a serious conversation given how the glare on Rachel's face has Dr. Kim returning one back.

There's that same gut feeling again, only this time it's making me feel nauseous. "Leaving already?" My blood runs cold for a split second, I turn to see Jongho leaning against the door frame. "Gosh, you really enjoy sneaking around," I sigh in relief, my heart pounds rapidly as I glance to see Dr. Kim walking away angrily. "You get discharged in the afternoon..." I pause and turn to face him, Jongho has a faint smile.

"I do but according to Dr. Bae, physical therapy will be mandatory," he says adjusting his posture, noticing that he was out of the grey hospital clothes and wore black sweats with a navy-blue pullover.

"It is, your back still needs to heal...which you're supposed to be in bed still," I point to the elevators, Jongho chuckles. "Bossy much," He teases, shaking my head as we walk to the elevators. "I'm still your nurse until the afternoon..." He hums in amusement, entering the elevators Jongho leans again. "Which is why I'm obeying your words instead of going against you."

Rolling my eyes playfully the elevator begins to move, Jongho simply chuckles. Silence falls between us, it wasn't awkward thankfully. Gripping the bookbag's strap the elevator stops on the fourth floor, "Were they able to find the person who—" I bite my tongue unsure if I had any right to question.

Stepping off Jongho turns to me, "They have not sadly, it's an ongoing investigation," He smiles sadly. Walking beside him felt odd, too normal but again he's like any ordinary person. Only he sings and dances, of course loved by millions.

I watch him carefully, instead of the bed he walks over to the couch. Furrowing my brows, Jongho glances over at the window. "I wonder what their motive was," he says, hesitating I look at my iWatch then back at him. "Some do have motives and some do it for the thrill," Adjusting my bookbag Jongho looks at me, a faint smirk forming on his lips. "You know, I'm not going to bite you," His playful tone made me scoff, crossing my arms. "I'm just respecting your bubble" He pats the empty spot, exhaling softly I set my bag on the coffee table.

Sitting down I made sure to keep my distance, "My bubble is fine Lyla," He assures me. I smile faintly, "If it was a saesang then wouldn't most saesangs confess their profound obsession mistaking it for 'love'?" I look at him. Curiosity flickers in his eyes, "Obsession can lead people to do insane things, like writing 'love' letters, sending gifts, and eventually they become impatient when you don't give them the attention they've been craving for." My words are bitter revealing some of my anger.

"You say that like you know from experience," Jongho looks at me, and averting my eyes I fiddled with my badge. "Sadly, I know a thing or two about obsessive stalkers." My heart pounded against my ribcage, the look in his eyes made it seem so real. The worry looks too genuine, it felt hopeful only for a split second. "Have you gone to the police about it?" His question made me chuckle, "I did actually, even I gave them evidence but nothing." My voice softer than before.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I fix my posture and sit up straight. "I should get going...it's sort of a long way to get home." I smile while getting up, picking up my bookbag Jongho was gentle as his hand grabbed my forearm.

"How far do you live? Let me get one of my managers to give you a ride," He waits patiently, my brows lifted slightly. "Oh, no you don't have to do that," he shakes his head. "I know but it's the least I can do, and I want to," Jongho's answer was so quick I almost laughed, shaking my head with a smile.

"Really, it's fine. I'd rather not bother your manager or make anyone go out of their way for me," He frowns at my words. "You wouldn't be bothering anyone," He lets go of my forearm in realization, "Still," My tone was steady but inside I was screaming at the Gods and Goddesses.

Jongho sighs and leans back against the couch, "I feel like I at least owe this," He admits. "Owe me?" Tilting my head, his expression hardens and softens at the same time. "You've been taking care of me this entire week," He glances at his shoulder, "And I've done nothing but be grumpy and I probably made your job more difficult than it already was," Gripping the bookbag's strap I couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped me. "You weren't that bad," He stares at me, biting my bottom lip I glanced at the muted TV.

Ironic, Whitney Houston's The Bodyguard was playing.

"I was," He disagrees, exhaling softly I look at him. "You were..." His right brow lifts swiftly, "Okay, maybe you were a little." Using my index finger and thumb to measure his grumpiness. Jongho chuckles, for someone who's known as the quietest and most serious member of Ateez Jongho was surprisingly the opposite at this moment...it's cute.

Unable to stop my lips from curving upwards Jongho looks at me and smiles, "What?" his question makes my heart skip a beat. I shake my head while clearing my throat, "Nothing," he crosses his arms. "You're laughing at me?" Jongho taunts, "I'm not," protesting caused him to smirk. "You are, definitely," He singsong, the smile forms completely on my lips. "I'm just surprised, that is all," I admit.

Jongho hums and tilts his head, my heart squeezes at the sight. "By what exactly?" He questions, watching his sitting up and giving me his full attention made me nervous. Fiddling with my bookbag, "You're not quite how I imagined nor how many have indicated," damn has he always been this attractive? His eyebrows rose in amusement.

"How did you imagine me?" I look at him perplexed, that stupid, charming smirk lingers on his rosy lips. "Please do tell me, Nurse Lyla," Fuck why is he talking in such a manner, gulping lightly I chuckle awkwardly. "Well, I-I-um, serious, quiet, and probably a little bit intimidating," Honesty flows smoothly through my lips. "And?" I let out a sigh of defeat, "You're actually the opposite, you're sort of um--sweet and playful," My gaze falls on the coffee table. Jongho blinked, for once he seemed like he didn't have a response. Shit, did I make him uncomfortable?

Clearing my throat, "But seriously, you don't need to worry about having your manager take me home. I'll be okay," He stays quiet, but his gaze studies me. Well great going Lyla, you went and screwed up. Jongho reluctantly nods, "Okay," I smile softly. "Thank you," Turning on my heels the sound of hurried footsteps fills the room, "Wait," I look at him. He reaches for a notepad and pen, watching him write carefully.

Curiosity bites softly, Jongho tears the note from the pad. I open my mouth to say something, but it shuts instantly as he walks over to me and hands me the note. My eyes flicker between the note and him, taking it with care.

My heart metaphorically explodes; a phone number was written beneath his name. "I can't--" "Take it," I shake my head, handing him the note. Jongho takes it but folds it in half, he takes my right hand in his. Setting the note on my palm, forcing my fingers to tighten around it. "If you ever feel uncomfortable," he says quietly, my gaze locks with his. "Or if you need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to text or call me," I was rendered speechless, he just keeps on surprising me.

"Anytime," looking back at the note, warmth flushes through me at the feeling of his hands. "Don't worry about feeling like a burden, because you're not," Jongho's words felt sharp as they pierced my heart.

Overwhelmed I am indeed, but I wasn't sure if it was the kindness behind the gesture or the fact that he seems to genuinely mean it. "I-um" a soft sigh leaves my lips; I look at him. "Thank you," Jongho smiles faintly as he lets go, "Take care of yourself Lyla, don't overdo it," I nod and smile. "You too," With one last smile I walk towards the door and without looking back I step into the hallway.

The coldness of the hospital made me let out a breath I was unaware I'd been holding in, clutching onto the note tightly. What the fuck just happened? Did that really happen? Shit, there's that stupid feeling again. Butterflies? Warmth? Nerves? I don't know what it is but it's terrifying me.

[bangchanbabygurl]

Yours Truly [ Choi Jongho ] Chapter 11

Genre: Idol Jongho x RN/Mortician OC | Thriller | Suspense | Mystery | Psychological Horror | Gore | Erotica | Slow Burn

Warnings: Gore, such as blood & desecration of bodies. Psychological elements such as manipulation, invasion of privacy, stalking & obsessions. Mentions of the dark side of idol life, substances & alcohol consumption, erotic/sex scenes, mortuary elements, & medical elements.

Word Count: 707

~~~~~~~ Jongho ~~~~~~~

The sound of thunder startles me awake, the room is dimmed and cold as I sit up. Exhaustion still lingers even after sleeping for six hours, a sigh escapes my lips. Getting out of bed slowly, I feel a slight pain shoot through my lower back. Slipping into the slippers Seonghwa had brought I walk towards the door, nervous spikes as I step foot onto the hallway.

The stillness and quietness of the hospital was semi-comfortable as I made my way to the elevators, pressing the third floor made my chest pound rapidly. Leaning against the wall, I felt a headache beginning to arise. Exhaling, the elevator doors softly slid open, stepping out carefully my eyes scanned the hallway ensuring no one was in sight.

Walking with a limp made it humiliating for me, gripping the sleeves of my hoodie I halted. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door softly, a faint come in made my nerves skyrocket. Opening the door slowly I stepped inside, "Jongho? What are you doing out of bed? You shouldn't be walking," Lyla's voice is filled with concern. She stands up pulling the IV pole with her, "Don't worry about me, you should lie back down," I close the door and walk over to her carefully.  Lyla exhales sharply, her eyes inspecting my limp. "Jongho, sit down," Her voice was assertive and demanding, it made the top right corner of my mouth twitch.

Lyla grabs my right forearm gently, leading me to the chair next to the bed. "Your back isn't fully healed and you walking will only delay the process." She explains, and a small chuckle escapes my lips. "You're cute when you're serious," I tease, and Lyla's cheeks redden lightly. "That's not funny," She mutters before sitting back on the bed, "I wasn't trying to be funny," Lyla looks away. "How are you feeling?" I question her, my eyes inspecting the bags under her brown eyes. "I'm feeling better, tired but nothing like some sleep won't help," she says with a small smile.

"Good," I mutter, my eyes wandering to the coffee table seeing some of her colleagues had gifted her snacks and books. "I also want to apologize about Wooyoung," My words took her by surprise, Lyla smiles and shakes her head. "Don't, there's no need to apologize Jongho. I completely understand Wooyoung," Her words are sincere and made my chest ache in some way I can't pinpoint, "It still doesn't justify him being a dickhead," I sigh. Lyla's gaze was perplexed; a small laugh escaped her.

"It's okay Jongho trust me, I've dealt with way worse dickheads and Wooyoung was more of a sweetheart than a dickhead." Her words sent chills down my spine, "You're a weirdo you know," I tease. That earns me a laugh from her, I smile.

"I guess so..." She mutters and adjusts the sheets, "How are you liking the boredom?" Lyla looks at me. "Mhm, annoying but books and sappy melodramas have been keeping me entertained..." She pauses and looks at the muted TV, "Is that why you're here? Because you're bored?" Her tone sounds playful.

A smirk tugs on the corner of my lips, "Perhaps...or maybe I just wanted to see how the cute, shy nurse was doing," That made her shiver and blush. A forced laugh leaves her lips, "Haha, you're so funny...but seriously are you always this--this--" She pauses, "Charming? Flirty?" Lyla shakes her head as she tries to hide her smile.

"Annoying," She bites back, I laugh and look at her carefully. "No, I'm not..." I admit Lyla bites her bottom lip preventing her smile from growing. "How's your shoulder? Feeling any pain?" The tenderness in her voice made my chest feel warm, "No pain, feeling a bit sore but it's alright," Answering her questions with a small smile.

Lyla smiles and nods in satisfaction, "Good," She mutters. My gaze lingers on her for a bit, there's something about her that makes it feel less lonely. It's almost like she has this vibrant vibe that she carries into a room but when she leaves it still lingers for a while, once it fades...it leaves you wanting to feel that warmth again.

[vampyr-luva]

he’s definitely the type of man you wanna bring to your parents and they’ll love him

[joongarchive]

hongjoong is my bias but he still bias wrecks me i dont even know how to explain it