You Did What You Had To. (Arthur Maxson x F!Reader)
THIS WILL CONTAIN MENTIONS OF ABUSE, GORE AND CANNIBALISM AND LOSS OF A CHILD
summery: Sole was kidnapped and beaten into almost submission by a batch of gunners, her relationship with Maxson is established but not publicly known among the brotherhood. This is as Ive seen identified as angst.
She had made it up to the tallest tower her legs could carry her to. Her left arm dislocated she pulled the pin of the smoke grenade with her teeth and put it down before walking from it at a sizeable distance, her legs finally gave out under her as she crumbled to her knees. Her breathing was bruised, uneven and every intake no matter how small sent her lungs on fire, each bone shredding themselves and every bruise aching she would barely move. The sun scorching her skin but she wouldnt move.
She watched the smoke pour from the grenade and catch the attention of a vertibird. She used all the strength she had left to raise a hand to show she was still alive, barely able to do that she was picked up by several soldiers and hauled back to Prydwen where she lay on a stiff cot while she was taken care of.
Her vision had begun to fade, weeks of fear and exhaustion washing over her like the cool refreshing waves of the pre-war beach. Soft and alluring the sound of them took her ears into its hold and lulled her into a peaceful rest, her body malnourished and battered she lay to rest for several days before her eyes cracked open, the pain resurfacing stealing her previously peaceful breaths from her lungs and replacing them with a stretching ache, one that twisted her face and let a shallow grunt to leave her lips.
Her eyes were swollen of which she wasnt even aware of but still could smell the scent of her lover, leather and a natural cologne from the papers he came into contact with so often. This brought a soft bliss to her senses and she reached a hand slowly, feeling his large hands engulfing her own tears streamed down her cheeks.
It pained him to see her like this, broken in several places and bedridden, now crying. He had no words for the first time in years he slowly leaned down to press a soft kiss to the back of her hand, finally she spoke.
“It was a nightmare.” She croaked out gently squeezing his hand. “There were too many- I thought I could handle them. But I ran out of ammo, they kidnapped me and there were others,” her breathing becoming uneven she attempted to swallow hard wanting to regain some sense of control, “they beat me until I bruised, then asked who I worked for.” She painfully sucked in sharply, “I refused, and they beat me till I bled, when I bled they asked again and I didnt answer.” Her lip quivered as her control slipped between her fingers, her voice cracking as she continued. “They kept kicking, and kicking, and kicking me until I blacked out”
Her mouth crackled by how dry it was and weakly requested a drink, Maxson promptly got a glass of water aiding her as she forced herself to take small sips instead of big gulps. Laying her head back down more tears poured from her blackened eyes as she choked out, “we were all so hungry, I was starving and they wouldnt stop hurting me.” she strained her words at the end, small whimpers erupting from her brittle throat. “I heard someone talking, a sweet sounding old man who asked if I would accept this meal. I was confused but so hungry, he promised the pain would stop if I would eat, that my baby would live if I-” She let out a shaky gasp dipping her hand down to her stomach, “our baby. . .” she softly trailed off, a mangled cry suddenly breaking forth from her previously weakened demeanor.
The entire ship could hear the broken cries. Heart wrenching even to those who barely spoke with her they could do nothing but listen to the wails of anguish, Maxson could almost feel her pain tears nearly brimming his own eyes as he watched his lover fruitlessly grab at the bulge that would no longer grow in the coming weeks. Finally after what felt like years she stopped screaming, sitting up despite herself and grabbing onto Maxson’s coat, her eyes barely able to focus her voice agonizing and void she spoke.
“I thought it was God, I thought the meat was pork or beef, brahmin or mirelurk. I didnt mind how almost-almost cold it tasted or how chewy the meat was. I saw goblets of red wine with a strange coppery taste but all still it filled my stomach. I thought I was dead and eating at the dinner table in the afterlife. Arthur,” she shrieked, “I ate people. With their knife I sliced the thigh off the bone and ate them raw but they were people. I thought I heard God but it was the Devil, a deceitful creature of glamor and trickery and made me eat people after I killed them.” She was left breathless as Maxson and Cade could only watch in horror of her words.
“I have become a monster.” She cried. “I feel sick to my very core about the horrendous acts I have committed on those who had starved my baby and killed others before me for their sick pleasure.” Finally after forcing those last few words her body gave up on the amount of strain she put it through, wounds reopening Cade operated on her while Maxson sat back. His hands numb and his blood cold he had never experienced anything like this, he didnt know what he was supposed to do. What could he do but look on, frozen at what the wasteland did to yet another person he loved.
“You did what you had to.” He finally muttered, distant and breathless he couldnt truly tell if he believed his own words or if his lover heard them. He made up every excuse in his book to pardon her. That was the right thing to do afterall.
Right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tell me what you guys think, had this clogging up my head
