#atomic smoak

[fluffycakesistainted]

[queensarrow]

"I've been catching up on the past six months. My company, my city, my life..."

[ray-palmer-defence-squad]

Lost, again.

Although it had been months since they rescued Ray and he had got to terms with life now, Ray was still lost.

Felicity. His last thoughts. There was something about Felicity Smoak. He knew it was her that could save him, when he was in Damien Darhk’s grasp. He sat in his apartment, night looming over the city, with a glass in his hand. Ray had told himself he’d never result to drinking away the pain, but this wasn't pain. This was just loneliness. He thought to their break-up. He knew within the few weeks of dating Felicity that it wasn't going to last. He told her all his secrets, yet she told him nothing. Ray knew Felicity was in love with Oliver Queen. And that was okay. Ray wanted her to be happy. But it suited him better if that happy was with him. The breakup was short, subtle. From what he saw, Felicity moved on quickly. All Ray ever wanted, from the moment he met her, was for her to be happy. She was happy now. He smiled when Felicity told him they lived in Ivy Town, because that was his hometown. He smiled when Felicity told him how Oliver was normal there. The blonde girl always spoke highly and excitably of Oliver to him, so Ray smiled and nodded. After the explosion, he was taken hostage by Damien Darhk. The time he spent staring at walls and ceilings, drinking drops of water and eating scraps of food, impacted him greatly. He would go to sleep thinking of Felicity. Her golden hair laying softly on his dark bed sheets as she slept. The way she’d grin whenever Ray brought her coffee. Her struggle in pronouncing the names of fancy food items in the restaurants they went to. These were his good days, where he felt completely and utterly himself. As he thought of Felicity, he couldn't help but remember Anna. He’d met Anna when he was at University. She was working at a tech store, but had extremely limited knowledge of technology. The best thing she could do was ask someone else to help. When Physics student Ray Palmer walked in, hair greasy and unshaven, and tiredly asked for help sorting out his webcam, she was the woman behind the counter. He could remember her eyes darting round, looking for someone to ask to help this guy. Ray found it quite cute, and amusing. Anna could find anyone, so they sat down with his laptop and pressed buttons until it was working. Anna took a test photo, in which both of them were looking suspiciously and confusedly into the camera, hoping it would work. This photo was in Ray’s bedside table, and he made an effort to look at it everyday. Nothing really came of them that day, but a few days later Ray was on his morning jog and ran straight into her, knocking her flask of coffee all down of her work uniform. She forgave him, they laughed and then they talked for a while. Before they knew it, Anna and Ray were in love. She was beautiful, gentle and supported Ray in everything he did. Anna was there when Ray opened his first company, along with his grinning parents and siblings. Family was important to Ray, even though he dedicated his life to his work. Anna and Ray had been together almost 5 years when Ray flew them to Paris for her birthday, which fell in August. They spent the day walking around the fantastic city and even visiting the Eiffel Tower. As evening fell, he took her to a beautiful plaza. The Eiffel Tower was visible, and the lighting was perfect. A street band played traditional music. It was all very romantic, just like Ray. He had always been a romantic man. And of course, he got down on one knee and asked Anna to be his wife. She said yes. That night, after they'd done the ‘obvious thing to do after getting engaged’, Ray lay holding Anna in his arms, stroking her hair softly and kissing her temple every now and then. They made plans. The dream house in the suburbs Ray was going to buy for them. The kids they wanted to have; two, hopefully a boy and a girl. They were indecisive on names at the time, so they left that hanging. The perfect wedding Anna envisioned, somewhere tropical and beautiful. Then, a year or so later came the terrorist attack. Sometimes in the night, Ray wakes in a cold sweat. His nightmares are often filled with Anna final screams before they snapped her neck. Ray hardly remembers what happened next, or the next few weeks to follow. Next thing he knew, he was getting money back from their wedding and house deposits. He was tearing down pictures, throwing them in carload boxes and putting them in the attic. It was all too quiet without her. But he took it as a sign. A sign he needed to be better, stronger. So he dedicated his life to his investments and companies, and of course, the ATOM suit. Meeting Felicity scarily paralleled meeting Anna. Ray saw many similarities with them both. How cheerful and positive they both usually were, the funny little girly quirks they both featured, the way they sometimes giggled when Ray showed off his nerdiness. Felicity was noticeably better at Mario Kart, Ray thought. Felicity was perfect in his eye. She listened, cared and worked with him. The time he spent with her were the days he felt most content with the world. Finding out she had feelings for Oliver struck him like lightning. He really thought he’d found what he had with Anna again. Ray though maybe telling Felicity he loved her would change something. No, it just made her leave sooner. When they broke up, Ray tried as hard as he could not to let it show how much it hurt him. He didn’t have much time to grieve over this failed relationship, because before he knew it he had blown up Palmer Technologies and was taken by Darhk. When he saw Felicity again, in person, his brown eyes lit up. He noticed Oliver’s hand around her waist, and his fake smile. Oliver hated Ray. He’d ever admit it to Felicity, though. Ray went to hug Felicity, but it wasn't like before. There was no warmth and comfort in her arms. She was just Felicity now. Oliver’s Felicity. So there Ray sat, sipping his drink, watching the city. He felt like the only man left in the world. And without Felicity, he was lost again. He needed rescuing. Again

[felicity-mcqueen]

i miss raylicity 

[ofbardsandmonsters]

Just a tad, sweetie.

Felicity Smoak

[felicity-mcqueen]

@ ppl who put hate and pro olicity things in the raylicity/atomic smoak tags

why??? did your mothers not love you enough?? 

[fluffycakesistainted]

WELP, yet another reason why I like Felicity’s relationship with Ray way more than her pseudo, non-starter “relationship” with Oliver: “I love you”s and their context

(Now, I’m not trying to hate on Ollie in this post, especially after 3x17, where I was proud of him for finally sucking up his man-pain and respecting and supporting Felicity’s life outside of him and Team Arrow. I’m just making a contrast here, and pointing out what I myself find preferable, and just more endearing.)

So I’ll start with the 2 times (some people may consider it 3, but I’ll get to that later) Oliver has told Felicity he loves her. The first time was last season’s finale, but it was part of a ruse and, from Felicity’s perspective, may or may not have been true. So she (and the viewers) ended the season kind of confused and up in the air on that point. The second time was in 3x09, and Oliver only broke down and outright said it because he was about to go off and most likely die. Understandable, but also makes the whole thing kind of tainted and dark, especially for Felicity. Pro: She knows for sure that he loves her; Con: She’s just left with that, and a good chance that he might not even survive and come back.

Now there’s also kind of a third instance. I don’t really count it, mostly because of the wording, but what Oliver meant was implied, albeit in a roundabout way, and it still works for my point, so I’ll include it. It was in 3x01 at the hospital (after baby Sara’s birth), where he pulls the “Don’t ask me to say that I don’t love you.” Which he said while he was basically DUMPING HER. After like 5 minutes of trying to date her. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL WAS FELICITY SUPPOSED TO WITH THAT?? Can you even imagine the utter frustration?? (And then Oliver had the nerve to get all bothered when she showed interest in another man, but whatever.)

But then there’s Ray in 3x18, and he tells Felicity he loves her in probably the sweetest, most natural way possible. Well, aside from them being in a hospital after he’s just recovered from a critical condition (THANX TO FELICITY, with a side of maternal encouragement). But considering the circumstances, they ended up having a cute, funny, couple-y conversation, and he just worked that “…two of the many reasons that I love you” right in there. And not because he felt obligated to, or was in any kind of dire, now-or-never situation, but simply because he was in the moment and felt it and just wanted to let her know. The only drama was on Felicity’s part, which is completely understandable.

[thiccjinki]

Don’t nobodyyyy is going to ruin my excitement when atomic smoak comes to Central city. be bitter somewhere else