#atonceonline

[sarahsophief]

In The Spirit Of High Frequency Women, I Offer This Poem By @cleowade & An Introduction To The Truth Telling Brilliance Of @misscocomasloco: Up On AT ONCE (link in bio): Another in our "Shit Together" series about keeping it together from Coco Ochwada. Here is a snippet: What do you do for self care? I walk. A lot. And I stay away from “mummy blogs” and “mummy instagrammers” for the sake of my self esteem. And communicate with friends, both mothers and non. Feeling connected to something over than my 15lb ball of drool. Whom I love dearly. (I hate that as a mother you have to add on the fine print about how you love your kids whenever you make a sarcastic comment, it’s like sarcasm is vetoed because you were super fertile that one time). #stayhuman #feministparenting #atonceonline #cocoochwada #cleowade

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE: (link in bio) I'm WILD about this piece. Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing! Rebecca Solnit on the “MOTHER OF ALL QUESTIONS” and whether that question is anyone’s damn business! Girls are born into bodies that our culture see’s as all locked up to eventually be in servitude to everyone but ourselves. There is an expectation of motherhood placed on girls from the moment they are born. As Jia Tolentino says below, The idea of motherhood hovers like a cloud, as do most potentialities that are specific to the female body". There is no “right” way to be a woman. We love what she says here: “There is no good answer to being a woman; the art may instead lie in how we refuse the question”. But just because the question can be answered doesn’t mean that I ought to answer it, or that it ought to be asked. The interviewer’s question was indecent, because it presumed that women should have children, and that a woman’s reproductive activities were naturally public business. More fundamentally, the question assumed that there was only one proper way for a woman to live. #atonceonline #rebeccasolnit #stayhuman #differentstrokesfordifferentfolks #reproductivejustice #choice

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio). Talking To Our Kids (And Ourselves) About Body Image. Poem by @nayyirah.waheed How the hell do we talk to our kids about body image? The messaging they are sent is pervasive. It's everywhere, from that stupid breast enlargement ad on the subway with the melons (New Yorkers, I know you've seen it), to the online games our tweens play, to ads, to magazines, to billboards, to the shows WE watch, they watch, they watch us watching...... It's a minefield. Our kids are constantly exposed the celebration of one body type, typically a thin, white, big boobed variety for girls, and a muscular, ripped, also white, hyper masculine type for boys. Nicole and I write about these topics because we are grappling with them ourselves. We found these articles and tips helpful. I've found that I can't protect my kids from messages about their bodies, the best I can do is talk to them about it, love my own body, and teach them how to be critical thinkers. Teach them how to root out what is problematic. Teach them that every body is a good body. And always be open to talking about it. We've Posted Lots Of Great Resources That I've Found Really Helpful! Please Add Any Resources You Love. #atonceonline #feministparenting #stayhuman #kids&bodyimage #raisegirlsandboysthesameway

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio): The Wise & Insightful @alexawilding Brilliantly Answers Our "Shit Together" Questionnaire. A Snippet: Do you feel like you have your shit together? Why, why not, sometimes? Before I had my boys I used to feel like I had my shit together. In fact, I was quite sure I did! But becoming a mother to two babies at once, and then seeing our son, Lou (successfully!) through cancer treatment last year, well…I realized that the feeling of having my shit together was a total illusion. Being human, complicated, and occasionally a hot mess is so much more important than keeping up appearances. While I wish it hadn’t taken my son having a beast of a brain tumor for me to learn this, I will always be grateful to the experience for showing me that shit happens, and sometimes your worst nightmare can open the door to freedom. That said, I miss the illusion some times. #feministparenting #shittogether #stayhuman #atonceonline #worklifebalancedoesntexist

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio). Some Great Resources On Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend. Including a film for kids, talking to white kids about race, #LindaSarsour on MLK and Rep. John Lewis on The Art & Discipline of Nonviolence. Dear White Parents Of My Black Child’s Friends: I Need Your Help: “ But here’s the thing: As much as we can try to protect him and teach him to protect himself, there may come a time when your child will be involved. As the parents of the white friend of my black child, I need you to be talking to your child about racism. I need you to be talking about the assumptions other people might make about my son. I need you to talk to your child about what they would do if they saw injustice happening.”- by Maralee Bradley #atonceonline #mlkweekend #feministparenting #stayhuman #blacklivesmatter

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio): The Inner Lives of Boys The rich inner lives of boys can so easily be muted and permanently transformed by gender norms that by the time our sons become men, they have no real experience with vulnerability. The “mask” of masculinity alienates our boys and men and robs them of the experience of deep connection born in sharing feelings. We’ve pulled together a few things that can help us re-write the hyper-masculine narrative our sons will be faced with. Photo by my ol' man @jessepooljesse #atonceonline #stayhuman #raisegirlsandboysthesameway #toxicmasculinity #feministparenting

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio): Radical Self Care & Motherhood. As mother's the cultural norm tells us to sacrifice all. To try to be ALL. The pervasive guilt is driven from this message. That no matter what we do, in parenting, in work, in love, we are not enough. That the first person's needs to forfeit should always be our own. We internalize this message and accept it. Then are mystified by our own exhaustion and desolation. Jada Pinkett Smith's clarity of purpose, strength of message and willingness to expose her daughter to some hard truths is giving us life and hope! Jada Pinkett Smith On Being A Wife And A Mother: "We are here to assist you. We can't make your life for you and we can't help you with the things we don't know. But you have to remember this, you always have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because when you stop taking care of yourself first, you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others." - Jada Pinkett Smith to her daughter Willow Watch This Amazing Video & Read A Great Article. #stayhuman #feministparenting #selfcare #atonceonline

[sarahsophief]

Up On AT ONCE (link in bio): A Poem To Take You Through The Weekend. A Poem BY SIRI LIV MYHROM My mother had a mantra that connected dots through every year, every difficult event: Life is hard..... Read This Entire Gem At Site. #atonceonline #stayhuman #feministparenting