#atracaelos

[scarlet-knight-blog]

tbh I didn't like noctis' full name for the first couple of years because I thought it was noctis luis calcium

[dyusaeris]

"Deuce?" his pitch ascended slightly in astonishment perceiving those familiar youthful features. A smile quickly etched upon his lips, jogging over to meet her as he lifted a hand in casual greeting. "It's been a long time."

   Attention piqued at the inquisitive call of her name; the tone’s familiarity brightening the cadet’s features even before she had turned to greet her companion properly.

   “Noctis…! I… I thought something had happened to you,” she spoke softly, almost astonished—though, emerald hues were conveying obvious relief. “—I’m so happy to see you’re alright.” 

[praellias]

There's longer gaps in between him seeing the prince-- no King now and he's readily missing the male because while it has always been an incredibly long time until he sees Noctis after leaving for duty, the times of late has been longer than usual and he doesn't like it. However, it is necessary and so he considers himself lucky when he finally catches a break from his Guardian duties to travel back to his significant other's place to spend a few days with him, at most.

As such, he hasn't had the time to get the king a gift and he sorely regrets it because gift-giving is something he loves doing, especially for Noctis but regretfully, he'll have to give it to him another time. He won't mind that, hopefully, but all concerns of that is wiped from his mind upon sighting the familiar figure and there's a smile spreading across his lips, excited at just seeing him again and he approaches with a small bounce in his step, silent as ever and the King is already turning to meet him as if he's sensed his presence not by sound.

It's a natural thing to do now as he gets closer, easily coiling a lean extremity around the prince's waist so as to pull the man to his own body and it's also natural to press his lips to the other's own. However, he holds off on the last thought, a free hand ascending above both their forms with a particular viridian plant in tow and he dangles it there for a few seconds, azures drifting from it to ceruleans before the trademark smirk slips across his lips.

"Merry Christmas, love." He utters softly, before leaning in to claim what's his.

[itavisum]

"Seriously......?"

[praellias]

"Please. Rip each other's throats out. I am more than happy to watch."

[itavisum]

Mmm gimme them sweet nippurus

kaze wtf are u doin 

[praellias]

He finds, quite easily, that he does not mind being used.

There is some redemption, some gratification in the fact that he is being useful for something at least. He has to make-up for everything that he’s done, has to make up for all the lives that he's taken and ruined. Even Caius' burdens are taken upon his shoulders, for he is his mentor's legacy; the memories are not to be taken lightly, as intrusive as they are upon his mind whilst in slumber, and so he does not take them any less than what they are now currently. They're palpable and perhaps the old Guardian's mistakes are his now--

You will bear the burden.

Perhaps it's unfair, perhaps he does not deserve this but what else is there to do? There is no other goal in life, no other thing that wrests him away from this endless existence save for one thing (and even then, he cannot guarantee that it really will be eternal yet how quickly he disregards such a thought, brought on by the sudden despair that cloaks the place he lingers in now). It is an eternal duty he must serve, and he should have accepted this long ago, should have comes to terms with it for he knows that he will have ended up just like Caius in the end, will have turned his back on old mortalities yet somehow—somehow he just isn't there yet for--

There's someone waiting for him.

Perhaps, once upon a time, he would have had his Yeul. His Yeul, whom he knows solely for he has grown up with her, breathed the same air and rolled in the same dirt with and laughed with and he would have been happy if not for the realization that he doesn't exist, not really for his very being, his consciousness is something brought upon by the manipulation of the paradoxes, the ultimate culmination of them within timelines and across timelines that resulted, ultimately, in him and when he thinks of it like that, he truly has no home to go back to.

Yet, there is one exception.

He hadn't realized it, how much he's drawn to this particular world and though the air is thick with the smog of war, he finds solace here, finds something familiar within a smile waiting for him upon certain pallid features, finds peace laden in whatever jibes are sent back and forth, the teasing delivered to the royalty and he feels that, suddenly, his existence isn't so grey anymore. Perhaps he is wrong to linger, wrong to make connections in a world where he doesn't belong but at least it's his, it's his place, his home that he's created for himself (that they've created for themselves)and perhaps it may not just be found in that particular world, but in the man that he's come to appreciate and love having in his life.

He is his. He is a constant that Noel can come back, someone to remind him that he's real, that he can still make something from such a meaningless existence and though doubt still lingers he finds himself invigorated over and over again, just witnessing how such a handsome visage would light up upon his coming and that-- that should mean something, right--?

Ignorant. Foolish. You thought you could escape--?

Is that what he's been trying to do?

Perhaps he's been lying to himself. Perhaps he's convinced himself that he deserved this slice of happiness, no matter how short it would seemingly last, that he neglects his duties to such an extent that she would call upon him, call him to come back where he belongs and he knows then, that he's been overindulgent, has been far too sucked up into this life with someone to love and be loved in return that he's forgotten the bigger picture, has avoided it completely no matter how many times he’s convinced himself and the prince that he tends to work decades on end and--

How long has it been since he's last reported back to Yeul?

A long time, it seems. She sounds impassive--she looks impassive and he finds that he misses the Yeul he remembers, the one in his memories but--they’renotyourmemoriesfoolishboy—he is still fiercely loyal to all the Yeuls here, would do anything for them and would undertake many things for them yet she wonders-- that Chaotic entity wonders where he's been and he flinches inwardly, berates himself for taking upon a luxury that he could not afford to take and he kneels suddenly, bowing his head before the ghost of cobalt and ivory, and perhaps he can detect some sympathy in her words, underlying the emotionless tone and she does care, he knows that and that only makes him ever more guilty for abandoning his duty so. Why should he get to languish, when there are others suffering at such an expense?

There are many, many things that need tending to, and Noel gets right on it. She instructs him in his tasks, in each and every one of them and he knows not of how many days, weeks, months may pass, knows not of how long he’s taken on each quest but there’s only the drive of knowing he’s doing something right to fuel him for there is nothing else that motivates him. He’s doing something to help others, he’s doing something to bring happiness and life to those who may not have the power themselves to claim it and he truly is glad he is helping them, does not mind giving himself over and over again—foreternity—in an attempt to keep the timelines straight and true if only to right the wrongs he has made in the past.

And perhaps, right his very existence.

He is allowed an instance of leisure, and it is an automatic wave of his hand that ensues, his mind pushed to the brink of exhaustion as he summons a time rift before him, the gratitude of Yeul whispered upon the shell of his ear and he smiles then, is glad to have done something and melds himself to the Crux, makes a speedy journey back home to a familiar bed and warmth and immediately collapses out of the column of gold and into the softness of royalty, both the person and the luxuries afforded to one, at least. Curling up instantaneously to the form dormant in the covers, he does not bother getting inside, lets his mind wander instead in it’s haziness with the mental note to only have a few hours of sleep for he has to up again, of course, has to report back to the seeress for he has many things still to do. He does not know how long he’s been away from Noctis, but just being near him once more is enough, despite how short of time he has with him.

Azures shutter, and he does not dream.

[crescenthana-blog]

"You better be there for Tidus when I defeat him in our spar. He's going to need help getting up." uv u

     ”You think…? Hm… well… I think the three of you should give teamwork a try! I’ll help Tidus, if you help Noel…”       ”…and when we win, I will help you up, instead!”