Shut the fuck up and let me sleep!!
Along with the rest of the troubles, the most pissing off one now is that everyone have taken a sudden interest in how I sleep. And all I want to say is a big Fuck You.
Since the time that I got into a relationship, my sleep has gone from bad to worse. Before, I slept when I needed it and refresh. Sure I’d be up all night and wake up late, but every damn kid does that. The day I welcomed a person into my life, my sleep was lesser in my control. We’d fight if I dozed off in a convo, I’d adjust my time to meet his always, and an endless list of how I slowly lost control over more than just my sleep. One time I nearly killed myself because wanting some sleep was so damn offensive.
Married to the same person, fast forward to a time 2 kids later. Every dot of a chance I had of reclaiming control over my sleep - I stripped myself of it when I had kids. So now I try to make sure I get a lil decent sleep when I can. I find it hard to fall asleep while being squeezed out to a corner of the bed with my blanket getting pulled from me every darn second. I tried sleeping on a tiny mattress on the ground so I could sleep better and just as I’m falling asleep, I have a kid shrieking for me and I have to get me ass back on the bed and squeeze in. At 4-5 am my body gives up and starts to fall asleep however and wherever. 6-7am the hubs gets ready to go to work, sometimes wakes the kids up as he does - resulting in a torturous day for me - otherwise 7am to 11am is the best sleep I’ll get all day. Once the kids are up, its feed-clean-entertain-feed-clean-entertain-feed-clean-bedtime. If both the kids took an afternoon nap, I could catch some sleep in the middle. But they don’t. Even if there’s one awake, I’m their only entertainer around.
Now this household has many people. Let’s talk about how everyone sleeps:
Hubs-falls asleep by midnight, takes most of the bed and blanket, sleeps like a rock until it’s time to wake up and go. At least 6 hours of quality sleep. I could do with 6 hours of sleep if I had that kind of quality too.
Dad-in-law sleeps whenever the hell he wants. Got the whole place to himself. Wakes up drops his kids to school at 7? Gets home and sleeps till 12pm something. Gets the kids from school by 2, eats lunch and then another hour or two long nap. Wakes up watches TV, nothing interesting=another nap. Then rest of the night to sleep at will. Yet he won’t stop telling me when and how I should sleep. Yes, his kids - twin girls aged 7. He also said “you should wake up early and get a 30 min nap after lunch or else you’ll get fat!! Particularly get fatter if you sleep in the morning!!”
Mom-in-law wakes up and gets the kids ready for school around 7 and then goes back to sleep till 10:30-11. Wakes up and cooks and goes to work. Works till late so her sleeping till 10 is justified. But obviously stay-at-home-mum isn’t considered working is it? Or maybe everyone would shut the fuck about my sleep.
Sister-in-law on work days is up early (2 days a week)- otherwise its 2pm. No one dares to say a word.
Brother-in-law on work days is out of bed by 4pm and on off days by 6pm. No one dares to say a damn thing.
So why me? Because I’m an outsider? Because I’m just home all day with kids? I have to now beg for people to be considerate?
All I want is to sleep when I can. So I will sleep when I can. Cause none of them will last a damn day in my life if they didn’t get sleep. So here is a big damn FUCK YOU.