I think you are about the only other person who thought that giving Ben and Martin fanfiction to read was creepy and wrong. I really get upset and embarrassed when people try and to stuff like that or even worse involve the actors. Makes me want to delete my Twitter and Tumblr and just walk away. I can't defend this behaviour, I just can't.
I am not ashamed of our fandom, and really I think it's full of brilliant and wonderful people. It just seems like whenever the Sherlock fandom is brought up in media it's negatively. Picking something like a explicit fanfiction not only puts the actors but the fans in an awkward position, regardless of how cool or understanding they are with the fanbase, and that's really not cool.
It's also really upsetting to me as an artist, because they're degrading things that are important to a group of people by choosing only the extremes and displaying it as an 'look how weird and creepy these people are' without giving any thought to what goes on behind what they realize. I see a lot of fanart fetishized and joked about in the media and it's really not fair. I can look at pieces that I easily know took someone 5-8 or more hours to create to make themselves or others happy and all of a sudden its something to be ashamed of and hidden. Fanart can be one of the most creative outlets there is, as well as fanfiction, and I hate to see it used by a crappy media as something that instead of binging happiness and is done in all good fun is now something to cringe about and be embarrassed for everyone involved.
So yeah. rant over. Haha.