#ats vent

[atrutsama]

I’m abandoning a project that I have work for 4 years to make.

I know that most of you don’t even care about this, but if I didn’t get this out of my mind, it will forever hunt me.

I worked on an Undertale au for 4 years, I was still at school when I started making the story and the characters, and it was the cringest thing ever, no good character design, no good story building, no nothing.

I was playing around with just the dust of my dreams of being as well known as x-tale creator, I was shoving trama and characters getting hurt everywhere, hoping I would get an interesting story, but I ended up with the most stupid and inconsistent story ever.

I don’t want to get into details, but it was so annoying to try and pull things together by a thin thread.

What I want to say is, like any other artist, when you keep your face so close to your canvas you will mess the bigger picture, sometimes you just need to step away for a while and look at your creation as a whole, then you might see the small mistakes you have made and fix them.

But as for my au and some of my dream… I don’t think I can fix any of them.

[atrutsama]

I didn’t have one those for the longest time so I am making one now!!

✨Master post✨

FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸🍉

You might find here:

Undertale related things, such as: au’s fan art, short stories and comics about au’s.👌

Original Undertale au content called Trouble-tale, it’s still a WIP but there is a couple of comics here and there.🫥 (discontinued 🚫)

FNAF things, maybe there isn’t much but it’s there… or will be there. 😅

Anime things, most likely attack on titans, and HunterXHunter … I watched a lot other than those two but I love drawing Levi and Erwin, also my husband Hisoka. 😳

Welcome home stuff, I love Wally darling design so much 🤭

Here is meet the artist post!

About me ~💜

she/ her

You can call me Tootie or Tota whatever suits you more 😊

My favourite food is Asian food I love ramen so so so much 🤤

I was born 14/6/2002, feel free to calculate my age when you see this post😁

Update: I became a mother on the 12 of November 2023 🌸♥️ We are going to call her Miss H ^^

I hate blood and I’m an introvert person probably have ADHD and depression too but I was never diagnosed, it’s mostly stress that get me to work and over think things. 👁️👄👁️

What is acceptable in this blog?

Reposting my art with credit to me.

Request are cool with me, as long as they aren’t NSFW.

Fan art for me!

Questions about me are fine as long as the ones about me aren’t too personal, like where I live, my real name etc …

What is unacceptable in this blog?

Reposting my art with out any credit to me.

Being racist for any reason to anyone, it’s not cool and completely unacceptable 😠

NSFW fan art of my persona.

Bullying for any reason, you can feel free to disagree but not in a violent way and no need for bad words.

Leaving rude/mean/discouraging notes or comments, they destroy all of my motivation, if you hate what I post just block me or the tag you hate and leave respectfully.

This might get updated every now and then, but this is clear enough for now🤗

[atrutsama]

It’s day 7 of October and I have zero motivation for the art of the day 😕

I looked up the meaning of the word gingham and looked at pictures for a long time but nothing sparkle in my mind, usually I get the general idea of what I want to draw the moment I see the word of the day, I had no motivation, no idea of what I want the illustration to look like, and it’s kinda late now for me to record…..

Maybe I should skip this day, hopefully tomorrow I will feel more motivated.

[atrutsama]

You have been walking in a long, dark hallway. You don’t even know when did you started walking, and you don’t know where this hallway ends or starts. All you know is that you can’t stop walking.

As you walk, the path keep getting narrower and narrower, it’s making you feel uneasy, you think that you have seen some people… or things to be more accurate, but you didn’t pay any attention to them, after all, if those whatever they are were important, you would have stopped and looked at them, right?

The more you walk the more you feel your chest getting tighter, it’s hard to breathe in this place, now that you think about it… where are you? What is this place? Why are you here?

Those questions boiled in your head as you found yourself unable to keep walking, you have to run, from what? To where? It doesn’t matter, you just ran.

In front of you, there in the far away distance, you saw a dim light, desperately you tried to reach it, hoping you’d find something there, not thinking much about it, you picked up your speed and ran as much as your legs can.

You reached the light, it was a big door, the light was coming from the small space between the door and the floor, you smiled! It has been a while since you’ve seen a light in this place… how long have you been here?

The door was big and old, it seem to be as old as time, you took the handle in your hand… the door is locked… but … isn’t this the way out of here? Isn’t this supposed to be the happy ending of this nightmare? You tried again and again and again… but no use… the door won’t open, you looked behind you to see if there is anything left… to see that the long hallway has disappeared… nothing is left… even the blurry people or things… are no longer there… you sat on the floor with no more hope within your soul, the door needed a key that you didn’t have… may be if you were a better person… if you payed a little more attention to the blurry people… maybe you would have had the key…

You cried… just cried, there is nothing you can do to open the door… and you can’t go back… seems like a new nightmare has started.

Thank you so much for reading 💜 this is supposed to be a small trip in the mind of those who have anxiety and tend to over think and regret everything they do, at least this is how it feels for me, I don’t remember when I started over thinking and once I realised it it’s usually too late.

[atrutsama]

The worst feeling ever is when I want to draw but can’t… just physically can’t.

It’s not a bad art day, or an art block, It’s weird, I want to draw, I know what I want to draw, I have the time and the ability to do it, but I just can’t.

I think that I might feel guilty for drawing even though I don’t know why.

I’m not asking for attention or advice from anyone, I’m just venting, and writing is a good way to vent, at least for me.

Hope I won’t vent about this ever again, it feels so off.

[atrutsama]

Once you give birth, you realise that being pregnant was the easy part 🥲

[atrutsama]

Had been dead for a while…………………

Still going to be dead for a while 👋