Attempting Conversation || Seblaine
Tagged: Blaine Anderson and Sebastian Smythe
Date: August 1st, 2012. Sometime around three in the afternoon.
Location: Separate rooms, other sides of the planet.
Notes: Sebastian tries to initiate conversation, but with the words they've both left unsaid, doing so proves to be harder than he thought.
Sebastian:
As he sat back against the headboard of the bed in his hotel room in Milan, Sebastian grabbed his laptop from the foot of the mattress and opened it up, logging in quickly. He'd been in Italy for a two weeks or so, exploring the culture there, filling up his mind with other things to preoccupy his thoughts so that his past memories would be shoved out of the way. As his browser loaded, he took a quick glance at the clock that sat on the nightstand to his left. 8:52 in the evening. Normally, he'd be out doing things, partying, mingling with the dashing men that seemed to fill the streets of whatever European city he was in, drinking to his heart's content. He'd then stumble into a car with a stranger and head over to some random place, do a few things with aforementioned acquaintance, crash, wake up in the middle of the night, then head home. Well, either that, or he stumbled home alone, only to collapse on his bed with his numbed mind. But while doing such things was fun for him, Sebastian still wasn't satisfied with what he was doing. Ever since they'd broken up, he'd been running-- traveling Europe not for the sake of wanting to travel, but just so he could forget about whatever happened. The past was the past and no matter how hard he wanted it to come back, it never would.
With a quiet sigh, he logged into his Facebook account, read through his less than fascinating newsfeed, commented on a couple of pictures, and logged out. Well, he tried to log out. It was his initial intention, but then he saw Blaine's profile picture pop up in the column to the left, and something inside him wouldn't let him leave the social networking site just yet. Before he knew it, he was clicking on the picture, making a chat box pop up at the bottom of his screen, and then he was just frozen. Without a word in his mind, he sat there, completely blank, unable to come up with a decent string of words-- Not even a hello.
Hey, you!
No, that wouldn't work. Sebastian quickly pressed backspace and shook his head. It seemed too happy, and that wasn't the case. That mere two-sentence phrase would make it seem like he was content with where his life was right now in regards to Blaine, and that wasn't true.
Hey, Blaine! What's up?
He quickly pressed backspace again and let out a frustrated sigh, mentally cursing himself for being so stupid when it came to this. As a lover of words, you'd think that he'd be able to construct a simple sentence to greet his former lover, but it was harder than he'd expected it to be-- and he'd already figured it was impossible.
Hi, B! How're you??
Again, his pinky instinctively found the backspace-key and he deleted the words he'd typed. God, if only he could just jump into the conversation and ramble on and on about how much he missed him. Something along the lines of, 'I really miss you. I miss us. I wish everything would go back to normal and we'd be together again. I don't know what happened-- Actually, I do know, but I wish it didn't. Can't we just go back to the way we used to be and forget about whatever happened because I want you back. I need you back. Please, baby, I'm sorry. I did a lot of stupid things and I said a lot of words that I didn't mean to say-- Hell, I didn't even mean to think those words, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I still love you. I'm still in love with you, so please say it back." Of course, he couldn't say that anymore. Sebastian's tried his hardest to convince himself that he and Blaine were just a thing of the past and nothing he could do could bring that back, but no matter how hard he tried to tell himself this, he couldn't believe it.
Hi.
That's it. That's all he could come up with. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard, hoping with all of his heart that Blaine would say hey, too. If anything, that's all he wanted.