So Alex is a douchebag and tagged me in some bullshit, and now I have to write five things about myself. I think. I'm not really sure how it works but I'll do it anyway.
1. I am currently laying bed with 10 stuffed animals. Yes, I am in fact nineteen years old. I'm not really used to sleeping alone, so when I have an empty bed, I sleep with three Cat In The Hat dolls, three Ariels, a Sebastian, a Flounder, a shark pillow pet named Richard, and a Beast from Beauty and the Beast. I actually just got him today. I don't leave them in my bed to cuddle or anything lmfao I just let them take up the empty space that I'm not used to having next to me. They stay on my bed when I make it in the morning. They make it look cute.
2. I'm obsessed with Disney. I always loved it as a little girl, but for whatever reason I love it a lot more now than I ever did. The Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, and Hercules are my top three favorite classic Disney movies. I collect pretty much anything Disney related, and my boyfriend usually gets me something to add to my plethora at least once a week. It's usually Little Mermaid stuff. I have clothes, pencils, napkins, a bag, the soundtrack on vinyl, etc. Most of it is pretty pointless but it's The Little Mermaid, so I just have to have it.
3. I don't know how many people know this, but I posted about it when I was first diagnosed in March of 2013. I have panic disorder. I'm sure you've learned about it if you've ever taken a psychology course. It's really not that interesting, I'm just trying to name stuff that you guys don't know about me. I pretty much have control over it by now, I can't even really remember the last time I had a serious panic attack. The only way it really effects my life is the fact that I can't have caffeine, which is kinda shitty cause I used to love starting my day with a cup of coffee, but whatever. It's really quite an easy thing to deal with, as long as I'm not too anxious. I forget about it sometimes anyway.
4. I have nightmares on the regular. Sometimes they're realistic, sometimes they're absolutely ridiculous and don't scare me at all, and sometimes they actually mean things, and I've gotten pretty good at analyzing them once I wake up. A lot of them are repetitive and relate to my real stories. I really try my hardest to ignore the ones that seem insignificant, but I have a history of nightmares coming to life and that's why they really bother me sometimes. The ones that have come true are the ones that are the most repetitive. Those cause me to lose sleep over a lot of stuff that doesn't even matter anymore. I have nights that I'm genuinely afraid to close my eyes. For the most part I keep them to myself.
5. I try to relate any song I hear to a situation in my life. Music is really the only thing I've ever identified with. I have an entire playlist of music that makes me cry and they all hold so much meaning to me. Those are the songs I go to when I need inspiration. If I want to write about something specific, I turn to a song that reminds me of that situation and make note of all of the lyrics from that song that make me feel something. Even if I'm not writing anything, I still love to listen to those songs even if they make me sad. I feel like they help me understand myself. Maybe I'll publish that list on here one day.
I tag Mike, Ashni, Dylan, Anthony, and Alex. Sorry fuckers.
