Looking Back On 2,200 Miles
It has been over five months since I have finished my thru hike of the Appalachian Trail. I bring it up every opportunity I have and love sharing my stories, memories, and experiences. I started my journey to find the breaking point of my body and mind. The average thru hike takes 6 to 8 months, and I completed my hike in 3 months 29 days. When I speak of my trek to others, I feel that I have earned the right to be cocky, to have a little swagger. During my entire hike I remained humble. I always said was attempting to thru hike, and stayed humble to the trail. But now that I look back on my journey, I have joined the exclusive group that call themselves thru hikers. Since 1937, only 15,000 people on the planet have done what I have done. I am now Guac, Appalachian Trail Thru Hiker, GA to ME - NOBO 2017.
Did the AT break me? Did I find the mental and physical breaking point of my body?
This one is hard to answer… I do not think it broke me, and the only reason I say that is because I finished. If it had broken me I do not think I would have made it to the end. But how can I truly say the trail did not break me? It did break me down physically, emotionally, and mentally on a regular basis. It brought me to tears countless times and I had to dig deep to continue to walk. My trail families said “Guac is having a bad day” too many times for me to say I was not broken. When I speak of the trail, I say: “It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life”. I mean every word of that statement. The AT was the hardest, most grueling, difficult thing I have done up to this point in my life. But I do not regret it. I honestly believe that we grow as people when we break out of our comfort zones. When we force ourselves to do something new and out of the ordinary. “Guac” may no longer be hiking but there will always be a part of Guac in me forever.
Did I gain that independence I was looking for?
NOT AT ALL! There isn’t one part of me that is upset about this. I had this perception of the trail that I would be alone all the time. That I would be walking alone, eating alone, and sleeping alone. That was not the case. Laura best described it by saying it was “one big continuous sleepover”. There were moments I would walk alone. In some cases there was no around around and others I choose to be alone. But the trail was extremely social and I loved it. It is what I kept falling back to on the long days. After a miserable day of walking, it was my trail families that kept me smiling, enjoying, and loving the journey. When I look back on the trip, I miss it a lot. I think about it all the time. I can’t help but smile when I think of what I did. But do I really miss the endless walking, countless miles, blisters, sore feet, lost toe nails, wet socks and shoes? No, not at all. I miss the smiles, laughter and bonds that I made with my trail families. I miss Scrip, Pacer, Cyrilia, Pete’s Dragon, Downwind, Tree Walker, Lone Ranger, Uncle Heather, Sprout, and Root.
There is a bond that grows and develops on the trail that you cannot replicate. It is more than a friendship. The best way I can describe is, it is just “surviving”. I will never forget the moments when I would run out of water and we would all stop for a water break and Scrip, Tree Walker, or Pacer would give me some of their water. Why!? They did not have to do that. I was the one that ran out of water and didn’t have any left. They were the ones that carried it all those miles for me to just take it from them.
There were countless times when we would be at camp and I would get water for the entire group while they all set up. Or it was me that would relax while Scrip or Downwind got the water. We were all fighting for the same goal, an outrageous goal of 2,200 miles. We all helped each other along the way and made sure we all made it. You truly love those you hike with. You laugh, cry, bleed, and hurt with each other. You become emotionally attached to those you are around. They truly become your family.
I miss “supper time”. We made sure none of us ever ate alone. It still makes me smile thinking of when I first started to hike with Pacer and Downwind and I yelled at them to wait until we all got to camp for “family supper”. Whenever Scrip and I reunited after being apart for a few days, he always told me that the thing he missed most was dinner. We would all set up camp, gather around, and share treats and food if anyone of us was ever running low. I still remember our potluck dinners of hot dogs, Knorr Sides, Mountain Houses, tortillas, salad, crackers, and anything else we could pull out of our food bags. We would eat like kings and every day we all knew no matter how miserable and terrible the day was, there would always be a warm meal at the end of the day with your trail family.
I did inspire, but you all inspired me.
I want all of you that are reading this to know that I was, and still am truly moved by how many of you followed along. It is still amazing to run into people and have them mention that they read every single one of my posts. People that I haven’t seen in years reading my blog. I am shocked and honored that you all followed along. There are plenty of other things to read or watch on the internet but you chose to read this blog. I was an honor to know so many were following. It was a huge motivating factor during my hike. If I failed, I wouldn’t just be letting myself down, I would be letting every single one of you down. I hope one of you, just one, is moved and inspired by my blog and journey and do something with it. Take that jump off the deep end and see what happens, see where life takes you.
I have been contacted by a few people about my thru hike and they have mentioned that they would like to start their own journey on the Appalachian Trail. It makes me emotional thinking about it. When this idea about thru hiking first crossed my mind, I was reading countless blogs and articles online. I was reading about previous hikers like Rabbit and Biz. They were a major inspiration for me and I hope that one of you out there decides to pack what you think it takes in a backpack and start following those white blazes. Trust me, you will not regret it.
I can’t help but smile and cry at the same time when I think about what I did. I actually did the entire thing. I made it from Georgia to Maine, on foot, hiking 2,200 miles. It is still remarkable to me and doesn’t feel real. I am asked all the time what the trail was like, and would I do it again.
The trail was everything…
The trail was hard, difficult, brutal, sucked, terrible, wet, cold, muddy, buggy, and just plain horrible at times. But at the same time it was AMAZING, beautiful, rewarding, unforgettable and truly life changing. I thought about the yo-yo hiker, Skippyjon Jones, that turned right around at Katahdin and headed back to Springer. I can see why. I miss it, and yes I would do it all again. I do not regret being out there. Even as I sit here writing this post still letting my feet and body recover, I can’t help but smile and cry thinking about being back on trail with the Savages, Just the Boys, and The Deli Boys. I have been out on the trail every chance I’ve had since being back. I have told everyone I can that I am a thru hiker. I loved my journey.
Am I different?
Yes, I think I have changed. I feel that my relationship with Laura is a lot stronger now. I learned how much I needed her and loved her while being apart from her.
I learned that I can walk anywhere. There is no where that is not within walking distance to me now.
I am more confident in myself. I know that I can do anything I set my mind to. Nothing is impossible to me. I am stronger mentally and physically.
Dream big, dream even bigger, and swing for the fences. Guac on! I have learned to never stop dreaming. Dream crazy, stupid, and ridiculous. Have dreams and go after them. Chase them down and fulfill those big dreams.
Thank you.
I want to thank my wife, Laura. I wouldn’t have made it without her. She may not have walked the miles but she was there every step of the way. She let me go, she supported me along the way, she mailed me the food that kept me going. Since my hike, I have been getting all the congratulations. Laura has only been told three times that her journey was just as amazing and received congratulations. She sacrificed a lot so that I could walk. She is a remarkable person for letting me take on the AT.
I want to thank my family for all the love and support along the way. The support from family and friends was empowering and amazing. All the cards, care packages, text messages. Thank you, all of you!
I want to give a big and special thank you to Nicko Nagel. I called you multiple times while I was on trail and every call I was tears. I was broken down and didn’t want to continue when I called. No matter what you were doing or what meeting you were in, you dropped everything to talk to me. Nicko, thank you for listening to me. Thank you for telling me exactly what I needed to hear at those moments. You kept me going and for that I love you and will never forget what you did.
Scrip… Do I even need to say anything? I have been fortunate enough to see you since we have both finished. We walked a long time together brother and it was amazing. Thank you for everything.
Happy Trails,
Guac - GA to ME 2017 - NOBO '17