Nightmares - Tom Blake (1917)
A/N: I had this idea just before I fell asleep a few nights ago about a thing… in which Tom is actually well and alive, but not in the 1910’s. so AU!Tom I guess?
this is not that gooooood I’m sorry :( especially the ending sucks because I basically had an idea for the beginning only
oh ps. mentions of burnout.
Tom tried not to worry you too much, but his nightmares were getting worse and worse. He told you once that he had the weirdest dream that he was a WW1 soldier. That he had a friend named William Schofield with whom they were trying to save Joe and many other men. You told him that probably he was just worried about his studies, which student wouldn’t be.
“In case you forgot, your major is history, right? I think that you’ve just spent way too much time with your books” you tried to comfort him.
He knew you were exhausted. He had carried you to your bed many times when you fell asleep at your kitchen table during those late-night study sessions. Your work wasn’t making it any better either.
Little did he know that he actually would scare the shit out of you soon.
-
You feel your exhaustion starting to take over your body. Your computer screen revealing to you that it is already 3am. Shit. Luckily you don’t need to go anywhere tomorrow, but you do need to finish peer-reviewing a classmate’s essay. The problem is that you don’t want to be rude, but honestly the essay is one of the most confusing essays you’ve ever read. You decide to just email the comments to the person and tell them to contact you if they have any questions. While you close your laptop, you hear Tom’s steps coming out of the bedroom.
“Oh, God no. Oh, God no”, you hear him say. You get up from the kitchen table and take cautious steps towards him and while doing so you see him clutch his abdomen. Did he hurt himself? He looks terrified and wide awake but doesn’t seem to register you at all.
“Jesus. Jesus, no.” he cries out and falls on his knees, still clutching his abdomen.
“Tom! What’s wrong”, you manage to ask him while quickly dropping near him. He doesn’t answer to you but instead cries even more. That’s when it hits you. Is he having one of those war nightmares again? You grab his face between your hands and try to wake him up, starting to cry. He’s sounds like he is in pain, he sounds so frightened and it scares you.
“Tom Blake, wake the fuck up!” you manage to scream and shake him. And that seems to do the job.
Even though his eyes were open for the whole time, only now you can see from them that he is truly awake. He raises his shirt and traces his fingers on his skin as if not believing what he is seeing.
You were still crying and shaking. You really thought that something was physically wrong with him.
-
The doctors said that he had a burnout. Not hard to believe, right? They also suggested that he should take a break. And after complaining for a while, he admitted that he needed the break. Badly. So, for a couple of weeks, he simply enjoyed whatever activities he hadn’t had time to do. He also, believe it or not, met a guy named William fucking Schofield. They became friends very quickly. You still thought that it seemed like they had known each other forever. Tom tried to take care of you too, but you didn’t let him. But you were on the verge of a burnout, too. You denied it though. But today, today feels so hard.
Your backpack seems to weight five times than normally. Your legs feel heavy as you take the last steps from your apartment door to your sofa, kicking your shoes somewhere along the way. You collapse between the pillows and your eyes fill up with tears. It is quiet so you assume that Tom is out somewhere. Exhaustion takes over you so quickly that you don’t even realize you are falling asleep. You wake up only when you feel Tom’s lips on your forehead. You struggle to open your eyes, but you do so.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you” he says quietly, moving some of your hair away from your face.
“You need to take a break too. Please. I feel like I dragged you through hell with me” he continues. He looks worried, his blue eyes staring right at you. He looks sorry too, but you don’t blame him. Hell, if someone is to blame it is society with its pressure to graduate quickly with the highest grades possible.
You don’t say anything, but instead get up and snuggle close to him and let him hold you and soothe you.
And there you were. A history major and a philology major, struggling together to stay afloat after almost drowning. But you had each other. The familiar smell of his cologne, his warmth around you… knowing just how much he loved you. That is all that matters, right? You will make it out together. He is not a dying WW1 soldier and you are not a failure even if it sure feels like it sometimes.
“I love you more than anything” you say after a while.
“I know” he says “and I love you too”.