If I have to sit through another speech telling me that I'm destined for great things, I'm smart and that I can be anything that I want to be, I'm going to stab someone. In the face. Repeatedly.
We've sat through the exact same speeches since kindergarten. I'm pretty sure we get the point by now.
Let's start from the beginning. We met outside at 10. We waited an hour before they started herding us like cattle into the arena. I'm not exaggerating. We were literally herded into two single file lines and led into the arena with cops and upperclassmen making sure we didn't stray out of line. Really? We aren't capable of walking from one building to another? Then we had to wait another hour before they even started the ceremony.
At said ceremony we got to listen to four people tell us the same thing. That we're smart, that we're going to do great things, and in four years we're going to be graduating. Thanks for clearing that up. I totally didn't know any of that already/
But my FAVORITE part had to be the awful jokes and the awful stories.
Like the story about the football player who was a credit short to graduate, so the dean told him that if he could answer a question correctly, he could graduate. The question? "What is 9 times 9?" The kid got it right. [Side note, we never were told if he got to graduate or not. If he did, I'll be pissed.] The point of the story? Don't stereotype. Ooookkaaaaay.....
Or the speaker who said something along these lines.
"I was told to keep my speech short and not to go over 35 minutes, so I'm going to stand up here and talk for a solid 34."
Or the guy that told the joke about the smartest guy in the world who jumped out of a plain with someone's backpack instead of a parachute. Because we've neve heard that one before.
I'm not even going to comment on the fight song. Or the t-shirts. Or the fact that I felt like I was a new animal at the zoo when we walked through the arena and everyone started cheering. Words cannot describe the
The entire process was a waste of time and completely unnecessary. The only reason people still do such ceremonies is because they've been declared 'tradition.' Heaven forbid we break tradition and try something new. Why is it necessary to have a ceremony or celebration for EVERY SINGLE 'EVENT' KNOWN TO MAN!?
High School Graduation? Not really an accomplishment, not necessary.
Opening of college? We're all aware that we're smart enough to be here. We don't need to be told that. We're not narcissists.
Having a baby? It's called biology and keeping the human race alive. Not exactly something that you have a lot of control over. It's not like you constructed the child from nothing bit by bit. Cells do it themselves.
I thought I was supposed to be treated like an adult in college, especially in such an accredited university. This is what I get for assuming things.
