‘Mama, don’t preach” (New version, now with Eloise
Some of you may remember this Halloween one-shot (originally requested by @viper-official ), but since it was written, the Snape family gained a new adittion: Eloise. So here’s a little rewrite (that is obviously too late for Halloween). Enjoy!
Soren nearly threw himself out of the window of the car the moment he saw his grandmother´s house.
“Mam, stop the car!”
“Let him out, or he´ll try and fly through the windshield” Severus smirked. Evelyn stopped the car and unlocked the back door. Soren scrambled out of the vehicle so fast it was a small wonder he didn´t just fall flat on his face by the side of the road. Then off he went, running across the dry grass, muddy puddles and dead leaves.
Severus would always bemoan the fact that Evelyn insisted that whenever they visited her mother, they did the last leg of the trip, from Dublin to Doolin, by car.
“We can go anywhere in the world with magic,” he would always say “take the children and the luggage with us, anywhere you want, in a snap of fingers. Just say where. And yet you insist on this pointless 3 hour drive from Dublin. It makes no sense. It´s just going to get them cranky and tired for no reason.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe it was 'pointless', and it certainly made Soren cranky. Unlike Eloise, who blissfully slept most of the journey, or just entertained herself playing with her toys, watching the landscape change and rambling about all the magical creatures hidding behind every tree and rock, Soren could barely sit still for more than half an hour. Then again, having to sit still for any length of time made him cranky. Evelyn was willing to concede that Severus did have a point in that would be easier to just travel through magical means.
Easier is not always better, though.
She didn´t want her children to get too used to the idea that magic can make everything easy, or that they didn´t have to put any work into anything as long as he had a wand in his hand. Eloise was four, and starting to understand there was a difference between what was magival and what wasn't, and Soren...well, he would be ten years old the following day. The moment he would finally receive his letter approached fast, maybe too fast for her liking. Severus made sure that Soren was taught how to control his spontaneous bursts of magic, he taugh their son himself how to keep his magic in and how to use it in a controlled way. Little charms, tiny spells, little by little, so he´d get used to it. Eloise had been getting her first lessons as well. So they'd be safe.,
Paul's demise was always in the back of her mind, and from the moment Evelyn found out she was pregnant the first time she had started to fret. Severus knew it, and he took it upon himself to make sure their children were always safe, always protected against any accident. All of that was important, but Evelyn often had to remind Severus that Soren and Eloise weren't just wizards, they were half-blood whatever that meant according to the arbitrary conventions of wizarding society. They had a muggle family, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, cousins, and muggle friends. Evelyn herself, while not a muggle, wasn´t able to produce magic. Their children had to learn not everything can be dealt with or solved with the flick of a wand, and it had to be done from the earliest age.
Sure she could have made some exceptions. One thing was having the kids do a couple everyday chores without the use of magic, quite another was to have them sit still inside a car for 3 hours when they could easily be in Doolin in a snap of Severus' fingers. But Evelyn didn´t want them to miss out on the anticipation, on the feeling of waiting for something you want so much you feel like jumping out of your skin. They were growing up fast, much too fast. Evelyn wanted them to hold on to that feeling for a little while longer.
Doolin was a land of dreams for her children. Which was funny, considering they routinely witnessed literal magic happening all around them. Doolin just had a different type of magic to it. No magic in the world could rival the view of the Cliffs of Moher as the sun set over the Atlantic, no magic could replace the stories of warriors, king, queens, ghosts and goblins great-grandmother Liz could tell, no quidditch match was as exciting as climbing trees or playing in the mud, and no charms nor spells could make Soren feel as he felt when he went out into the fields, to run through the ruins of the village´s remote medieval and Celtic past, or how Eloise felt when she build little fairy houses in grandma's garden. For them, who had a wizard for a father, magic was a mundane, everyday thing. Getting into a car and driving to the little village by sea where their mother was born, now that was just...different.
Evelyn did suspect there was another reason Soren was always so excited to travel to Doolin for the Summers, weekends and holidays. Said reason just so happened to be standing right outside her mother's front porch when they pulled over. No wonder Soren was so eager to get out of the car, Evelyn thought, looking on as her son almost tripped over himself to get to her.
Audrey Blake.
If it wasn´t for the fact that she could breathe, move and talk, Audrey could easily be mistaken for a life-sized doll. Her pink leggings had little black cats drawn on them and they matched her long sleeved black blouse, her powder pink ballerina flats were so pristine you´d think she had purposely avoided every single mud puddle left by the morning drizzle as she walked over from her house down the street, and not a strand of her short blonde hair was out of place, waves neatly held in place with multicoloured barrettes.
Evelyn had no idea what had happened to draw the two children to each other, but they were connected by that kind of profound friendship only children and a few very blessed adults can enjoy. There was, however, no denying the two were as different as the sun and the moon. Soren was bundle of barely contained manic energy, while Audrey was as calm as a lake on a clear spring day, Soren was so talkative he would make a parrot seem shy, and Audrey was so quiet and soft spoken one had to strain to hear her sometimes, where Soren was exuberant, loud and energetic, Audrey was delicate, sweet and serene.
Maybe that was the reason. Brash as he could be, Soren was also surprisingly kind and thoughtful if needed be. And Audrey was the kind of child that would bring fierce protective instincts out of the most hardened adult, let alone a boy like Soren, whose heart was so easy to win over. On the other hand, Soren´s no holds barred approach to everything in life meant he simply bulldozed through the rules and restrictions Audrey's mother kept making up to smothered the poor girl.
Catherine made it her life mission to make sure her daughter always looked and acted perfectly prim and proper, a doll rather than a living child. It was an endeavour Soren seemed hell-bent on ruining. The moment he stepped foot on Doolin there was no keeping the little girl in the neat little confines of frilly dresses and strict prohibitions. Soren didn't spare a single care to any of that. Audrey was his friend, and she would go on adventures with him regardless of what any adult had to say.
“Hello, love” Evelyn greeted her, running the tips of her fingers on her rosy, pudgy cheek.
“Come on, get yourselves inside, you two, it looks like it´s about to rain again. Careful not to track any mud in.” Severus said as he took Eloise out of her seat, gently waking her up, in that quiet tone Evelyn had come to identify as his particular way to show fatherly affection. Severus wasn´t all that prone to the cajoling and sugary displays of affection most people associate with parenthood. Is not that he wasn´t affectionate towards Soren and Eloise. He was, and deeply so. But Severus´affection was subtle; it was in the way he talked, adopting a quieter, warmer delivery to his words, in the way he messed Soren´s hair, or gave Eloise a quick kiss on the top of the head first thing in the morning, how he watched over them as they went about a task, the way he rested his hand on their shoulder and dropped to his knees to talk to them eye to eye, and how he listened to them with the same attention and respect he would dispense to an adult. Over time he started act the same with Audrey, to the point that the girl, meek and timid around nearly everyone else, seemed entirely well at ease with Severus, which was quite funny considering how most children who came into contact with him in Hogwarts felt about the notoriously scary DADA professor and war hero. To that muggle little girl however, Severus was just the gentle, if taciturn, father of her best friend, who was always nice to her.
“Mrs. Black is making scones and hot cocoa. She´s got cherry jam too, she gave me a little just now” Audrey told Severus, as they made their way inside. The mention of cherry jam seemed to wake Eloise up, and she squirmed to be put on the ground so she could run inside. “There you go, dove.”
“You´ve been here for a while, then.” Severus smiled, not surprised. Of course Audrey would be there since early in the day, waiting for Soren. What else was new?
“She has,” Evelyn´s mother, Sophia, confirmed, opening the dorr to let them in “even helped me with the scones. She´s got quite the talent for baking, this one.”
After the usual greetings, hugs and kisses, Severus brought the luggage in, and Evelyn followed her mother into the kitchen, where Soren, Eloise and Audrey were already sitting, waiting for an adult to get the pipping hot pastries out of the baking sheet.
“How´s your mam doing, sweetheart?” Evelyn asked Audrey, pretending she didn´t see her son dip a finger into the open jar of jam, then encourage his sister to do the same.
“She´s fine.” Audrey's smile disappeared when she answered, but then Soren started to talk about the latest additions to his personal library of adventure books, and she seemed to be herself again. Evelyn turned to her mother, but Sophia simply shook her head and proceeded to serve the scones.
“Mam?” Evelyn called, as the children started to eat with delight “Did something happen?”
“The poor dear is upset because her mam won't let her trick or treat.” he mother whispered, turning her back so Audrey wouldn´t hear
“Why not?”
“Last time I saw her in church, Catherine was going on about how Audrey is having trouble with her maths at school, so no costumes or trick or treating for her this year.” Sophia was visibly offended by the notion of denying Halloween to a child. “Can you believe it?”
“Well, it´s Soren´s birthday too, I'll have to talk to her.”
“You think I didn't try already, Lynnie? And I thought you weren´t having a party this year?”
“We're not, but I was planning to have a cake next Sunday, and we're taking the kids trick or treating tomorrow. Audrey always goes with them. I mean, they're best friends.”
“Well, go ahead and call her, but you know how she gets.” Sophia shrugged
“We´re all unpacked.” Severus announced triumphantly, entering the kitchen.
“Well, nothing like having a husband with a magic wand.”
“Told you my dad was a wizard, Audrey.” Soren proclaimed. The beauty of that age was that no matter how many times Soren and Eloise said their father was a mighty wizard, nobody would take it for anything other than children playing make belief. And since it never failed to get a smile out of Audrey, Evelyn and Severus played along.
No adult ever suspected a thing.
Evelyn gave her husband a quick kiss on the lips as he sat down to eat with the children.
“Where are you going? Have some tea at least.” he asked.
“I need to make a phone call, I´ll be right back.”
….
Evelyn braced herself for the conversation as the phone ran on the other side of the line. Catherine Ann Blake was famously difficult. It was just common knowledge. She had gotten worse since her husband passed away. Evelyn sometimes gave her the benefit of the doubt, that all she did, she did with Audrey´s best interest in mind, and that she maybe felt the need to be strict since she was raising a child on her own, but Evelyn´s tolerance for her antics had worn off a while ago. Catherine and Sophia were both active members of the local congregation, and Sophia had...stories. Evelyn hated the idea of a little girl as vulnerable and delicate as Audrey being raised by such an overbearing, moralistic and religious know-it-all, but she had to shut her mouth if she wanted her to continue to allow Audrey to spend time with Soren.
“Hello, Mrs. Blake? It´s Evelyn Snape.”
“Hello, Mrs. Snape. How may I help you?” Evelyn could almost hear the contempt in her voice.
Catherine didn´t like her or Severus much, and she didn't put much effort in hiding it. Evelyn didn't quite know why. Maybe Severus was too British and too eccentric for her standards, maybe Evelyn was a bit too flamboyant to be seen as a respectful wife and mother in her eyes, or maybe it was the fact that they had chosen a gay man as the godfather of their son. Last time Fin had come to Doolin for Soren's birthday, she couldn´t stop staring at him and Doug, visibly dismayed at the sight of a gay couple in a children's party. Evelyn hoped that wasn't the reason they had skipped the party this year, opting to give Soren his gift when the Snapes visited them in Dublin.
Catherine didn´t much care for their “ruffian of a son” either. She had overheard her call Soren that once. She suspected she would soon find some reason to start calling Eloise names as well. For the life of her Evelyn didn´t know what possessed that woman to even allow Audrey to play with him if she thought so poorly of their entire family, with the one exception being Sophia. Maybe there was motherly love in there to be saved, and she could at least understand that separating Audrey and Soren would hurt her daughter. Or maybe she just didn't want to be on Sophia's bad side. Which was quite more likely, to be honest.
“I´m calling because, as you know, Soren´s birthday is tomorrow and I was wondering if you would let Audrey come over to my mother's to spend the evening with us?”
“Audrey can´t go to any party for the time being, she´s grounded. I only let her come over to see your boy today because your mother asked.”
“Oh, we´re not having any party tomorrow. We just wanted to have Audrey over so she and Soren can play a little, if that´s possible. It will break his heart if he can't spend his birthday with his best friend, I´m sure you understand.”
“I don´t know. We have the Vigil for All Souls and Hallows in church tomorrow and I was thinking of taking her with me, I think she' about old enough to start having a more active role in the congregation.”
“I see. I know you work so very hard for the congregation. But maybe having Audrey there would distract you?” Evelyn could feel every muscle on her face going sore from the effort of spouting such large amounts of malarkey and having to be so courteous, when all she wanted was to tell that woman to take her bloody vigil and shove it. But she had to power through. For the kids. “My husband and I will gladly keep her for a few hours so you can focus on your work. I mean, the Vigil is very important, it will need your full attention.” Evelyn knew Catherine. Sophia wouldn't be there and she'd have the chance to run the entire thing, of course she wouldn't pass up the chance to push Audrey onto any available adult so she could rule over the vigil.
“I suppose there´s no harm in that.” she conceded after a moment´s hesitation
“And while we´re at it...I bought her a little princess costume and...”
“Audrey is grounded, Mrs. Snape. I told her she wouldn't be getting any costumes for Halloween this year, not until her maths improve.”
“Oh, I understand. In that case, maybe we can reach a compromise. Audrey comes over just to play with Soren for a little while, and I promise we´ll have her back home early. And I won´t put her in the costume I bought. I mean, it's a shame, of course, but rules are rules.”
“Well, seeing it's your boy´s birthday, and I'll be otherwise engaged, then I'll let Audrey go, but remember...”
“No princess costume, and she´ll be back home by 9. Thank you, Mrs. Blake.”
“What was that about?” her mother asked, coming out from the kitchen.
“We seem to have reached an agreement. Audrey comes over tomorrow, and I pinky promise not to put her in the lovely little princess costume I bought. Now, mam, do you know if Caitlin still has the girls´old Halloween costumes?”
“You just promised her you wouldn´t put her daughter in a costume.”
“No, I promised her I wouldn´t put her daughter in the princess costume I bought, specifically. But since I didn't buy any princess costume, I´m not breaking my promise if I put her in literally anything else.”
“Evelyn, we're never going to hear the end of it when she finds out!”
“She doesn't have to find out. The other church ladies have the Vigil for All Souls and Hallows Eve tomorrow evening, remember? We´ll have Audrey back home and changed by the time she´s back from church. She´ll never suspect.”
Sophia tried to object, but before she could open her mouth, Evelyn was back in the kitchen, ushering the children from their seats.
“Come on, kids, we're going to aunt Cat's house.”
…
“Oh, my God, she´s is going to blow a fuse when she finds out you're taking her daughter trick or treating.” Caitlin told her as they went through the box full of old costumes. “I need to get some popcorn and a front seat for that.”
“She won´t find out.”
Audrey and Soren were taking all the costumes from the boxes Caitlin had hauled down from the attic and trying them on, then helping Eloise into different ones as if she was a little living doll. Audrey didn´t seem to have noticed they were also picking a costume for her, and simply enjoying what she saw as her only chance at Halloween dress up of the year.
“You're going to ask Audrey to lie to her mother.” Cat, lowered her voice, not the the kids would have listened anyway, they were too busy doing a little impromptu fashion show.
“Do you really think Audrey and her mother are having long and nice conversations about how the girl's day went? That hag is probably going to send the poor baby straight to bed the moment she comes back home. How about this one?”
“Dorothy...cute, but what are the rest of you going to wear? It would be nice if all five of you matched.”
“Five? As if I can get Severus in a costume. Seventeen years we've been together and he has never dressed up for Halloween.”
“Well, what did you expect? His fashion baseline is somewhere between victorian gothic and 70s punk rock..The man dresses for Halloween all year long! Oh, look at this. Remember when Alice wore this one?”
“Wednesday Addams...” Evelyn mused for a moment. “Oh, yeah, that was the year I took Alice trick or treating dressed as Morticia Addams, wasn't it?”
“Of course I do, I was pregnant with Lizzie and no costume would fit me, and you were prancing about in that slinky black dress. I hated you so much.” Cat laughed. “I'm pretty sure mam still has that dress somewhere in her attic.Well, that's an idea for a group costume...Addams family? What do you kids think?”
“Can I be the grandma?!” Elois blurted alsmot imediately
“Don't you want to be Wednesday?” Audrey told her quietly. Evelyn could tell by the hind of sadness in her expression she was counting herself out of the dress up game.
“No.” Eloise answered as if she was about to explain something painfully obvious “Grandma Addams makes potions, she has the cauldron and all.”
Of course Eloise would prefer to dress as the one character who could brew potions in a huge steaming cauldron. She couldn't be more Severus' daughter if she tried. Incidentally, she just solved Evelyn's problem perfectly. It left the position of Wednesday open for somebody else...
“Even if Eloise wanted to be Wednesday, this dress too big for her.” Evelyn held up the garment, pretending to evaluate it. “But it would be perfect for you Audrey!”
Soren and Eloise both agreed immediately, Audrey didn't seem so sure.
“You'll be Wednesday and I'll be Pugsley.” Soren encouraged her
“I'm sure you have a stripped t-shirt somewhere.” Evelyn agreed
“”Can I bleach my hair?”
“No, you cannot.”
“How about dad?” Eloise suddenly remembered.
Caitlin thought for a moment before offering an idea:
“You should ask mam if she still has dad´s old black pinstripe suit. Have her air it out a little and Severus would make a great Gomez. You don´t even have to paint the dark circles under his eyes with makeup.”
“Yeah, right. He never wears a costume” Soren shrugged
“It´s just a suit...It´s not asking much, is it?”
October 31st, Saturday
The three piece pinstripe suit hanging by the back door of the kitchen nearly startled him as Severus came down for breakfast in the morning.
“What is that about?” he asked his mother-in-law, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Ask your wife.” Sophia shrugged “She asked me to air out her father's old suit, I´m just doing what she said.”
Something was off.
Sophia always refered to Evelyn as “my daughter”, “Lyn” or “Lynnie”. Unless, of course. Evelyn had done something she disapproved of. Then Evelyn stopped being “my daughter” and became “your wife.”
Caitlin had come over for dinner the night before with her husband, Paulo. It had been a pleasant evening, but he couldn´t help but notice his wife and sister-in-law seemed to be plotting something. He didn´t think much of it, assuming it had something to do with Soren´s birthday. Caitlin would be working the night shiftfor Halloween, but she would be at the party the next day, maybe they we're making arrangements for that.
Looking at that suit hanging by the door, however, he started to suspect those two were having ideas, and he didn´t really like it when they had ideas.
“Where´s 'my wife' then?”
“At her gran's. She asked me about an old costume of hers, but I didn´t have it here, so it has got ot be there.”
“A costume, uh?”
“Yes, a costume.” Evelyn came up from behind him carrying a large plastic bag “Happy Halloween, darling!”
“So you´re taking the little monsters out trick or treating?” he observed, sipping his coffee.
“WE are. That suit is for you.”
“When did Halloween become a formal event?”
“I´ll be going as Morticia, and I´m dressing Soren and Audrey and Pugsley and Wednesday, and Eloise decided to be grandma Addams, so I had to raid grandma Liz's house for scarves and white yarn for a wig. Now we only need a Gomez.”
“What?”
“The Addams Family, Sev! Your sons's favourite films?”
Sometimes Severus struggled with muggle pop culture references. Before Evelyn, he had gone years having barely any contact with muggle TV, radio or music. After Evelyn however, he could keep reasonably up to date, and once Soren was old enough to start having his own preferences in terms of films and music, then he simply had to keep up. Fortunately, Eloise was more of a fairytale and books kinds of child. But even making an effort, he still missed some references here and there. This wasn´t one of those instances, however. Surely he had watched the early 90s films quite a few times, as Soren was obsessed with them, but even before that, he had been somewhat familiar with the 1960s American TV programme. He most definitely knew who the Addamses were.
“I do remember that, love” he smiled. “But I'm not putting on a costume. We have this discussion every year.”
“This year is different.”
“Your wife has decided she´ll start some trouble with Catherine Blake” Sophia interrupted them.
“Mam!”
“Audrey's mother? I'm afraid don't quite follow.”
“That self-righteous idiot has decided her daughter doesn't 'deserve' Halloween because the poor girl is not performing to her ridiculous standards in a few school subjects.”
“Oh, so you decided you're going to dress her daughter up and take her out anyway? Against her wishes?”
“Her mother is wrong, for starters.”
“She's still Audrey's mother, we can't just undermine her authority like that. Audrey is a lovely girl, but if she's struggling at school...”
“She´s not! Her grades are nowhere near as bad as her mother is making it seem. She simply didn´t ace her last exam.”
“While I agree, it´s a bit excessive, that IS her mother.”
“Severus, all Audrey does is study, do chores and go to church. It's a miracle Catherine even allows her to come over and visit my mother, and I suspect she only does that because she's afraid of what the other will thbink of her in church if she has a problem with my mother of all people. Can the child have a moment of fun!?”
“I understand, love, but you know that wretched creature better than I do. If she finds out you did this, you know what´s going to happen? She will forbid her daughter from being around Soren. You know she just needs an excuse.”
“She doesn´t have to know. Come on, Severus, it´s Soren's birthday. All I want is to take the children out to trick and treat for a few hours, it´s enough that Audrey can´t even come to his party tomorrow. And it would be lovely if you could come too. All you have to do is put on a suit. Soren will be over the moon! And you know what costume Eloise picked? Grandma Addams, because makes potions just like dad. ”
“Don't do that.”
“Do what?”
“This little emotional blackmail. I´m not doing this. End of.”
“Mam! Dad!” they heard the sound of Soren´s and Eloise coming down the stairs in full throttle.
“Look at my wee little spooks! Happy Birthday, Scary Boy!” Evelyn pulled their son into her arms showering his face with kisses. Severus didn´t miss the accusatory look she shot him as she did that.
Severus gave him a bear hug of his own, picking him up and noticing with a small pang of sadness that very soon Soren would be too big for him to carry around. It seemed he was getting taller by the minute. Sometimes Severus feared that one day he would blink and his boy would turn into a grown man right before his eyes. At least Eloise would still be small for a little while longer
“Happy Birthday, you little terror.”
“Oh, is that your costume, papa?!” Eloise jumped into Severus arms and pointed to the suit hanging near the door, her eyes damn near sparkling at the sight of it.
“No, dove. That´s just one of your grandfather's old suits. Your gran is airing it out.”
“But, papa...You never dress up for Halloween.”
Severus looked at Evelyn, silently begging her to help him find a way to explain this without disappointing them too much. She just shrugged and walked away, leaving him to the inglorious task of telling his children once again that he was a boring fool who didn´t dress up for Halloween.
…
“Oh, I didn´t remember this neckline being so...”
“Indecent?” her sister remarked, in stitches.
Caitlin had dropped by to help them get dressed before she had to start heading to the hospital. Evelyn had decided to get dressed before dressing the children. For one it would take forever to cover her healthy rosy-olive complexion, still ever so slightly tanned from the Summer months with a thick layer of ghost-white makeup. Then there was the business of getting into that skintight dress. The zipper certainly required help after being in the closet for 20 years. She had to spend the whole morning at her grandmother´s looseing the dress up a bit so she could fit.
Evelyn was proud of her figure, but since Soren was born she would always have a couple pounds and a few inches more than she considered ideal, and nearing her mid-50s, she certainly couldn´t hope to fit into a dress she had last wore when she was in her early 30s without some help, and grandma Liz had performed nothing short of a miracle.
“Do I look ridiculous?”
“Not at all. I dare say you wear it better now. You fill it out more.”
Evelyn looked at herself in the mirror. The fact that wizards, witches and squibs all had a longer time span than muggles certainly helped. The 50s were not even middle-age for non muggles, and all too often it was their prime in terms of looks. She was fuller than she had been in her 30s, but she was happy with how her curves filled the dress, how generous and supple they looked. The white makeup and red lipstick were stark and severe, and so was the black wig, which was a little too artificial-looking for her taste, but all and all she could pass for a very adequate Morticia Addams
“I´m just glad I can breathe and walk, I was expecting to look like a sack of potatoes.”
“Nonsense. Now lets get the little monsters in their costumes because Paulo will be here any minute”
“Paulo is coming?”
“He worked the morning shift. And since you won't have a Gomez, we figures you should at least have an uncle Fester. Or something like that, we couldn´t find a bald cap in such short notice, but he did have a trenchcoat.”
….
“Severus is not even coming with us out of costume?” Paulo asked, seeing her leave the house with the children. His costume was barely a costume, he had just thrown a long coat on after coming home from his shift, and hastily applied some white to his face. His version of Uncle Fester had a full head of hair and thick rimmed glasses, but at least he was there, Evelyn thought with more than a hint of bitterness.
“Apparently not. He wants no part in our little plan.” she smiled
“You'd expect him to be a bit more adventurous. Well, shall we then, crianças? I brought a camera, it´s not as good as uncle Fin's, but we´ll get some neat shots.”
“A camera, Paulo?”
“We didn't dress up this nice for mobile photos. And I´m pretty sure a proper Addams would prefer a camera.It´s more...vintage.”
Before they went on their way, Evelyn felt Audrey pulling her hand. She looked down at the little girl, and saw she was nervously twisting one of the braids of her black wig, her pretty green eyes staring at the ground.
“Auntie Lyn?” she called, in a wispy little voice. Evelyn didn´t remember exactly when Audrey had started calling her and Severus “auntie Lyn” and “uncle Sev”. Maybe she had simply heard Alice and Lizzie do it, and felt like it was appropriate. Neither of them ever felt like correcting her or changing that. It wouldn't feel right to have Audrey call them “Mr. and Mrs. Snape”.
“Yes, love?” Evelyn got down to her knees as best as the dress permitted.
“Mam said I can´t go trick or treating.” She looked so worried Evelyn's heart broke a little.
“She did. And you´re right, you should obey your mother, and those are her rules. But I don´t have to obey her. She left you with me, and my rules are different than hers.”
“She'll be mad.”
“Maybe she will. But that's not your fault. You´re a good girl, love, you just did as I told you. I put you in a costume, so if she has a problem with that, she can talk to me, ok?”
Audrey seemed unsure at first but her hesitation all but vanished when Soren approached and took her hand. They were ready to go.
Or almost.
“Aren't you forgetting something?”
There he was.
Severus Tobias Snape. The man who never in his life had worn a Halloween costume, even after his first child was born on Halloween and just happened to celebrate his every birthday by dressing up and trick or treating.
There he was, in her late father´s old three piece black pinstripe suit, his hair parted down the middle and slicked back with pomade and a pencil thin moustache that looked so natural Evelyn suspected he had used some potion to grow it, instead of just using a fake one.
Evelyn had to admit it, he wore it well...very well.
So well in fact, she immediately thought of taking it off of him.
“Dad, you dressed up!” Eloise exclaimed, her white yarn wig bouncing all over the place as she ran to father, tripping over the longs skirts of her makeshift grandma Addams costume .
“Yes, I did, dove.” he picked her up, taking her toy cauldron on his free hand “But we shall not make a habit of it, ok?”
“Well, you certainly look dashing” Evelyn told him, barely louder than a whisper, as they made their way out into the street in the midst of all the other children and adults in costumes.
“Thank you, Lynz. You look exceedingly stunning yourself. Almost makes me wish this wasn´t a celebration for children” he smirked, offering her his arm.
“Oh, hush, you devil..”
…
Severus knew that wouldn't work out. He just knew it.
Everything was going too well.
The children were having fun, running around, getting sweets by the handful from everybody they ran into. Evelyn was in a glorious mood. She walked by his side, arm and arm, absolutely delighted. The fact that he had agreed to go along with her idea of dressing up the kids and themselves seemed to have pleased her so much Severus was sure he'd be in the receiving end of some rather delightful ministrations once the children were tucked in warmly in his bed, post-sugar rush.
So of course something would have to go wrong.
Severus didn't know what demon had whispered in Catherine Blake's ear and prompted her to leave the vigil early for some reason, all he knew was that she was out and about, walking among normal people as if he had the right to, and of course she had spotted her daughter. All he heard was a shriek, and then he looked back to see her coming towards them like she had emerged from the bowels of hell itself.
Never since Dolores Umbridge had he felt such unmentionable urge to smack a woman upside the head.
“Audrey Marie Blake!”
“Ma'am” Paulo tried to intervene but she walked right past him towards the girl. Evelyn placed herself in front of Audrey as if she feared the disgruntled shrew would hit her in front of everyone. And judging by the look on Evelyn's face Severus knew he had to do something quick or his wife would find a way to get herself arrested for attempted murder if Catherine as much as dared touching Audrey.
“Mrs. Blake” he spoke first, walking between her and Evelyn.
“Mr. Snape, I´m taking my daughter home right now. And tell your wife that...”
“Mrs. Blake, watch your tone, please. You don´t want to make a scene.”
“I should make a scene! I made it abundantly clear that...”
“Paulo” he turned to his brother-in-law for help, ignoring the woman´s fit “Take Lyn and the kids over to Mrs. O´Shea for a moment.”
“She´s not going anywhere!” Catherine roared as Paulo nearly dragged Evelyn and took the kids away. Audrey was on the verge of tears, and Soren looked about as ready to pick up a fight, and poor little Eloise was just confused, holding on to at her mother's skirts for dear life.
“Mrs. Blake. Look around. It's Halloween, you're surronded by families with their children. Do you really want to make a scene?” That seemed to get her attention “Because if you do, I can assure you I can make an ever bigger scene. In fact, I would love to do just that. Now say, Father Murphy is still at the church for the vigil, right? It would be awful if we happened to have words right in the middle of the street and news of it was to reach the good priest. What would he say, one of his most trusted helpers causing a scandal right in the middle of the street? And for what? A silly Halloween costume. Are you sure it's worth it?”
Severus could tell that harpy would claw his eyes out of their sockets if there weren't that many witnesses around. He smiled, a wide, mocking smile. Daring her to go ahead and make a scandal. He was dying for the opportunity to shame her in front of all the people whose opinion he knew she valued above her own daughter's happiness.
“Very well, Mr. Snape. This time around I´ll forgive your wife and let it go. But please have my daughter home by 7:30.”
“I'll have her home by 9...tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?”
“Since today is Hallowen and tomorrow we're having Soren's party, it's probably more convenient if Audrey just sleeps over. I can drop by later and pick up her pajamas, a change of clothes and anything else she needs."
"What? What makes you think I would..."
"And next time I see her, I'm very much looking forward to hearing all about the sweets and chocolates she got this evening, which you will most certainly not take away from her the moment she gets home. And of course, Audrey won't be telling me she got punished in any way, obviously." He smiled even wider, daring her to say something. Surely, Catherine had no way to know the source overwhelming compulsion to just go along with him, regardless of her actual desires, but he could tell she was confused and frustrated. Small blessings that muggles were so defenseless they didn't require the imperium curse to be manipulated. Just a simple non verbal charm could do it.
Defeated, Catherine huffed and puffed, shot him a murderous look and walked away, stomping so hard Severus anxiously expected the earth to open beneath her feet and swallow her whole. Alas, no luck.
"Good news, Audrey, your mother changed her mind about trick or treating and she gave you permission to come to Soren´s party tomorrow."
While the children celebrated and ran along to the next house, Paulo and Evelyn exchanged confused looks.
"How did you..." Paulo asked, confused.
"You didn´t hex her, did you?" Evelyn wondered
"Not for lack of wanting. All it took was mentioning Fr. Murphy and that altar licker changed her tune."
Paulo burst into laughter but Evelyn wasn´t entirely convinced.
"That's all it took?"
"I swear that woman cares more about what the people in church will think of her than anything else."
"Mom, dad, tio! Are you just gonna stand there!?" Soren called out.
"Here´s an idea." Severus told him children. "Uncle Paulo has a camera, and we still have daylight for a while. Why don´t we take some photos in the ruins of the old cemetery?"
With everyone enthusiastically agreeing, so Evelyn was persuaded to let the topic of Catherine Blake go for a while.
For now they had Soren´s birthday to celebrate, and an impromptu gothic-themed photoshoot to finish before the night fell. Anything else could wait.
Soren opened his eyes and looked around, searching for that familiar voice. He didn't know the place around him. It looked nice enough, though. A small livingroom, with teal colored walls covered in classic movie posters and a moon themed tapestry hanging next to a tall bookcase, loads of colorful cushions and, in front of him, a square coffe table with food and cooking themed hardcovers and a notebook filled with a round and small handwritting he knew all too well. He found himself laying on a soft white couch, “Golden Girls” was playning on the TV in front of him.
He sat up, feeling as if the room was moving around him like a ship in open sea. His clothes were sticking to him, tight and uncomfortable and his mouth was so dry he felt a bitter taste in his tongue. He didn´t remember drinking any water since right after curtain call.
Soren heard the sound of something frying, before the smell hit him. His stomach growled. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything that day.
“You´re getting glitter all over my couch.” that voice...Soren shook his head, suddenly angry at himself. How had he ended up here of all places? Idiot!
“Audrey, I...” he called out but his head felt like it just about split in two when he raised his voice. “I mean...how did I...”
“Here...” the voice approached. He looked up and there she was. Audrey, in a dusty pink turtleneck wool dress that hugged her plump figure, black leggings and boots, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, with thick bangs framing her roud, dollish face. She looked like she was either going to a date or coming back home from one when he, at least he assumed, crashed-landed at her door.
She held a plate in front of his face and it smelled something like heaven is supposed to smell.
“This is what you eat when you're flat on your arse drunk, if I recall correctly. Rashers, eggs benedict and your mother's cheddar, chive and potato pancakes. Right?”
“You...know how to make mam´s pancakes? ” he smiled, hoping foolishly that small talk would delay the earfull he was about to get. “She never gave anybody this recipe. Not even my cousins.”
“I lived with your parents for a whole year remember? I've seen auntie Lyn make this more times than I can count.”
Even though he felt like somebody had taken an axe to his skull and split it clean in two, Soren had to smile.
“Thank you. You didn't have to.”
“I sort of did have to, though” she let out, sounding tired “I found you laying on my doorstep, looking healf dead. Trust me, I was tempted to just walk around you and leave you there, but then what would I say next time I visit your parents? Besides, my landlord and neighbours wouldn't be too happy. Here, you´re going to need this. You must be dehydrated.”
She put a gallon of water on the table in fronto of him. Soren shugged nearly half of it before he could even begin to think about eating.
“Now, pray tell...what has gotten into you?” she crossed her arms and stood before him, looking far taller than her 5 feet, maybe 5'3 including the boots. Soren looked at her, pleased to notice she had put on weight. She looked like her normal self again, he thought. Last time he'd seen her she looked gaunt, almost.
“What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? Is it a normal occurence for you to prance about town drunk off you mind and pass out in front of people´s doors dressed like Beetlejuice and Dr. Frank'n'Furter's lovechild?”
“Oh, this!” Soren looked down at himself, finally remembering...
The effin' costume. Yeah, she was right. Her neighbours wouldn't be none too pleased to see a 6´2 man in full make-up wearing a leather corset-garter combo with stockings and high heels under a stripped trenchcoat passed out drunk in the hallway.
“I was...working.”
“Working? Is this an honest-to-God opera costume, or the Ministry for Magic had you go undercover in a fetish brothel?”
“Costume. The Ministry doesn´t usually have me dress up nice and sexy when they want to get me fucked. Hardly pay me as well as they should for it either.”
“What opera are you in this time around?”
“Orphée aux enfers...Our director decided to give the Kosky version a run for its money, so of course genderfuck drag was the way to go. Because why the fuck not? ”
“We're just going to pretend like you didn't love the idea...” she smirked. That was good...he hoped.
“Well, yeah, we decided to have a few drinks after the performance, and Henri thought it would be hilarious to just go out partying in full costume.”
“Who?”
“Henri Fournier...he played Orpheus”
“Of course...” Audrey, sighed, no longer amused.
“He's a riot, you should meet him.” Stop digging, Soren. She´s already mad at you, no need to act like a bufoon.
“And you should shower and change.”
“I´m afraid I don't have anything to change into...Unless, what's his name, your...”
“Ethan, his name is Ethan.”
“Yeah, him, unless he doesn´t mind me borrowing his things...”
“I´ll see if he left something here...”
“Left...I thought you two were...”
“He moved out.”
“When was that? Last we talked you we...”
“Come on, finish eating go have a shower, I'll find something for you to wear.”
“Hey, Shortcake, I...” He let out without even thinking. It had been so long since he last called her that, years maybe, but somehow it just poured from his lips.
“Don't...call me that.”
“I'm sorry...I really am. About this whole thing as well, I really don't know how I ended up at your door, I would never...”
“You don't have to apologize. Just eat, take your shower and...” she sighed “...we´ll see.”
…
Soren was tripping over himself so badly Audrey had half a mind to offer help. But eventually he got himself to the bathroom. She glued her ear to the door, half expecting to hear him collapse inside. The sound of the water running reassured her enough to step away and try to find something for him to wear, hoping Ethan had forgotten at least a pair of shorts or something.
Typical Soren to put her in this situation without even thinking. He never did think, did he? Just did whatever he wanted to do and everything else be damned. Nevermind that his parents were constantly worried sick about him, that his sister had to keep calling him to remind him he had a family and he should go see them sometime. Audrey was almost sure neither his father nor his mother knew what he was up to.
That he was spying for the. ministry.
His father would never allow it.
Audrey had been only a spectator, entirely foreign to their world of magic and wars no one of her kind was supposed to know, but she knew well enough, apparently even better than Soren, that it was a disastrous idea for the son of Severus Snape to be a spy. To collect inteligence about the very same criminals who still had a reward out for his father's head. Soren was born with a target on his back. Even as a child, Death Eaters had tried to get to him, the same with his sister, Eloise. And why wouldn't they? What better revenge on the man who brought down their leader than to harm his children? Audrey knew from hearing whispers and bits and pieces of conversations when she had lived with his parents in Glencoe, right after deciding to go no contact with her mother. She knew from what Eloise told her, in a vain, desperate attempt to get her to help knock some sense into her brother.
But Audrey also knew there was nobody on earth who could keep Soren from doing what he wanted. Sometimes she was tempted to tell Severus and Evelyn what he was doing behind their back. If they knew...They thought Soren was travelling around the world singing. A successful baritone, touring Salzburg, Paris, New York, Lord knew where else. Surely that shouldn´t prevent him from coming home now and then, however...But he would go months without showing up, so his parents, maybe, just thought that if he didn´t show up for Christmas or Easter it was because he was somewhere in a nightclub or a bar, partying. And sometimes that was true, but not always. At times, she wondered how and when they would find out, and hoped it wasn´t through some tragedy.
But...sometimes she also wondered if they didn't already know. If they were just waiting for him to finally be honest with them. Maybe neither Severus nor Evelyn could bring themselves to believe Soren would do that to them, so they acted like they didn't suspect, when in reality, they knew. Maybe they were just hoping he'd show himself worthy of their trust. Just waiting for him to come around.
So Audrey said nothing. It wasn't her place to, after all. If Eloise hadn´t, then she certainly had no right.
She finally found something. And old t-shirt and some pajama pants. Good thing Ethan was tall, she thought. This would do for Soren to at least make it back home, or wherever he was staying in London. Come to think of it...She shook her head and left the clothes on the bed where he could find once he was done showering.
“Soren?” She called once the water stopped running and she could hear him in her bedroom.
“Yeah?” he sounded a bit more sober.
“I'll call your sister, do you have her girlfriend's number? Maybe they can pick you up.”
Soren didn't answer answer immediately. Instead he took his time to get dressed and came back to the livingroom, sat on the couch and took another swig of water from the bottle.
“So, should I call her?”
“I would literally rather you hand me over to a dementor.”
“Maybe if I knew how. Eloise is my next best choice.”
“Eloise will never let me hear the end of it.”
“She wouldn'r be wrong, now would she?”
He didn't answer. He just made that face. That face he put on when he knew he was wrong, when he knew he had no good excuse. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards in an odd, clumsy smile, and his nostril flared slightly as he breathed out, then he looked away. Thinking of the next joke, of the charming comment that would deflect questioning, the next change of subject. Had been that way since he was a boy. Soren always knew when to leave an argument well enough alone. This way he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong.
“As soon as my head doesn´t feel like the the 1812 overture is playing on surround sound inside my skull, I can see myself out.” she shrugged with that devil may care grin that could get him whatever he wanted.
Audrey sighed. She didn´t have the energy to argue, And true to be told, if she hadn't found him passed out drunk at her door after nearly a year of no contact whatsoever, she would be happy he was there. Wasn´t this what they used to do, back when things were different? Staying up at night, huddled up on the couch, watching old TV programmes reruns till the wee hours of the night? She missed that. She missed having Soren around, she missed his stupid jokes, his impromptu performances. She missed him singing “Largo al factotum” early in the morning as he shaved, his voice filling her bathroom till the upstairs neighbours complained.
But she didn´t miss what came with it. She didn´t miss the disappearances, the weeks and months without a single phone call, the excuses, the worry, the panic...
“You already ruined my couch with all that sodding makeup” she sighed, sitting next to him “Might as well spend the night. But you´ll have to be out before noon. I´m working the lunch shift this week.”
“How's that going? Mam told me you made it to sous-chef.”
“Yeah, which sounds impressive until you realize it just means I'm the first in line to be verbally abused when Bastianinni wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“I worked with a Bastianinni once...It was for the best sharp knives are not part of our line of work, or the whole cast would have used him for target practice, down to the children's choir. When a tenor decides to be a diva, oof...”
“So, you´ve been talking to your mother?”
“Yeah, I called her and dad last week from Salzburg...to apologize for not showing up for Christmas again. She told me you were there.”
“I was. I assume that's how you got my address...”
“I...I mean...is not like she” Soren stammered like a little boy caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.
“Did you really think your mother would give you my address if I didn't tell her it was ok?” Audrey smiled “I´m just surprised you asked.”
“Why wouldn't I ask?”
“You tell me...For the past four years I´ve seen more of your parents and your sister than I´ve seen you. And you don't call anybody, just go off for months on end...”
“You know why that is...”
“I do. That´s why I don't wait for you anymore. It's pointless. But then when I give up waiting, you decide to show up.”
“Is not like I planned to just...”
“You never do.”
“Audrey, I...”
“I´ll get you a pillow and some covers, it's getting late.” She couldn't let him speak. If he started he'd take her in again. And before she knew it, she would be waiting again...for a phone call, a message, waiting for that moment she'd finally be fully a part of his world. A moment that would never come, no matter how long she waited. Not for her and not for anybody else. Soren had chosen a rocky path that only fit the steps of one person: himself. She couldn´t walk with him, and it would be fooolish to wait for him to come back any time soon.
“You said you were working lunch shift tomorrow.” the sweetness on his voice reached her as she got up from the couch, disarming. “Can´t you stay a little while longer?”
Eloise dating Aida: No drama, just chilling and enjoying life and happy family gatherings, because both their families are sane, loving and supportive.
Soren dating Audrey: Massive drama because Audrey’s mom thinks the Snapes are depraved heathens for raising a hippie lesbian (Eloise) and a demisexual who loves fashion, make-up and adrenaline(Soren). She´s also not too happy that Aida is black, but doesn’t say anything about it because she’s a “good christian” and totally “not racist”
