Jun 30, 2021
having some thoughts :/ like it doesnt matterrrrr. but it does. but it absolutely does not except a little bit
#im too embarrassed to say this 'out loud' a k a in posts or anything but tags is like. privately whispering i think#anyway this is cringe but. gender :/#aughhhhhgh#my IDEAL would be nobody fucking refers to me ever. no more names no more pronouns not even an enigmatic title#i only exist to others while being directly witnessed. but thats HFNGFGDGNF tricky ya know.#liiiiike i generally go w they online bc i dont want to Bother but i dont want people to be able to decide i am x gender. like fucking stop#im not available to be interpreted#but thats just like............... there. bc again i dont wanna rlly care! i dont want to put THOUGHT into this eugh#but unfortunately im being forced to by my own general discomfort cause like its not like i DISLIKE tht but its not like i rlly#like it either yk..... like stuff is fine for now but i dont like settling for just plain 'fine' cause like. idk doesnt feel really me??????#but also tried out like a hundred various neopronouns a while back and none of them rlly worked out either#sooooooo.#i guess im thinking abt this now bc im slowly working away on some . trans ise.kai ideas (dot to try n avoid searches)#(cause i dont want to fucking risk that)#listen its just for fun and jokes </3#but it also makes me think thoughts (bad)#im going to regret posting this idk
