How was he running down this corridor with him. He'd been gone for weeks almost three months he thought. Surely his guards would have alerted him to this man making an appearance in court again. But there he was, chasing after his shadow in the pale moonlight. A door opened and a murmur of voices called to the prince but still he pushed forward. He'd find that man. August had to put all of this right. He had to put him right. It didn't matter where he had gone and there. He smiled seeing the shadow of August's face as he ducked down the next hall and Colter followed suit.
Down another and another until he was properly lost in his mind but not really lost at all. They'd gone down the next hall and into where all of Colter's court kept their apartments. But for the prince it was another scene entirely but not. The hall before him was long and a flutter of window coverings billowed with a dead wind and there he was. The prince smiled and chased after him as he danced from one window covering to the next until they were outside of August's quarters. The door stood open and inviting him in to find the happiness he'd been so devoid of.
The room was cold and dark still. It didn't smell stale but it didn't smell as though it were lived in. Well, not lived in it as August had. Nothing had moved and Colter made sure that the linens were left as they were. He wanted nothing out of place for when August returned to this room. Because he absolutely would.
As the prince walked further into the room, August became more visible. He sat cross legged on his bed and Colter just smiled. A watery smile but still a smile. Still knowing that he was there and waiting for him. Slowly he climbed onto the bed and August ushered him into position, Colter's head in his lap and ghost fingers dragging down through the prince's hair. He drew in a deep breath and found that his memory had placed the scents there. The warmth and honey that always were August. He smiled softly and closed his eyes. There was a lot of explaining that needed to be done but words weren't really what Colter needed. Another slide of those faux fingers through is hair and the tears finally began to well.
"I'm so sorry." His admittance was only to himself but the prince curled in closer on himself as the sobs began to take their hold. He'd been holding this just above the surface. The weight of the absence of this man and it was finally going to come out, and all to Auggie. How appropriate. Colter reached his hand up, absently stroking the air as if he would if it were the man's cheek. "I didn't know he was going to leave you." Nevermind that he had made the choice to leave the bar that morning too. The consequences be damned now, he'd wished he found the strength then to tell Everett that he couldn't live without you. "I knew better. You ..." He sighed, nuzzling his face into sheets that felt like the abdomen he often kissed. "You taught me better."
Colter lay there unblinking in the dark of that room, consuming the comfort this room offered him with his delusions of August. The tear marks hard dried and become wet and dried again so many times that he wasn't sure he had any more left in him. And then they came at the thought of not being able to show August the true depths of his soul crushing sorrow and rage and his absence. "C-come back to m-me." He spoked with a cracked voice, his eyes drifting upwards and taking in the faintest outline of the curve of his cheeks which made the prince smile. How he longed to kiss him and he would. Colter got to his knees and held his hands around the air promising Auggie's shape. He smiled so kindly to it and could barely stand how happy he seemed to look in that moment.
"Come home to me, August." He said again, the image in his mind nodding incessantly and so quickly that the illusion was almost instantly shattered. Colter balled his fists up and punched down onto the mattress below him. "AUGUST!" He bellowed, the tears flowing fiercely now and he arched his back, face firmly pressed to subdue to rage accompanying the newest wave of emotions. There was no up or down. He couldn't escape this and as he came back to, every image he'd thought of August in the last few weeks had come running back to him. His eyes closed shut and he allowed every thought and memory to flood him just then. Colter reached as deeply within himself as he possibly could, damn near willing August to appear from just that alone.
"I can't do this alone. I ... I love you, August." His lips pressed hard together and his eyes shot open at that. He'd never spoken that word to another human being so long as he lived. Never to his father nor any other person but when it came to August, it felt like the benediction.
