#august29th2014

[reveriethoughts]

It all began with 1

I've gone through life with a path of diversity, and with people to walk beside me, though the distance is what made them known to me. 

Most want the one who person who will close the distance, and hold their hand. 

Does it make me odd that I don't want that? That I find peace more in just letting myself be alone

Since my heart and mind don't have to argue anymore.

[kaisra-blog]

August 29th 2014

As much as I try not to and pretend that I don't, I care so much about what people think of me. Each word that comes out of my mouth and every message that I send is instantly followed by feelings of anxiety and regret as I worry how the other person will respond. Too often I've gone to sleep wishing I had done something/said something different and worrying about how others perceive me. I need constant reassurance that people do like me and that I'm not annoying. I like to feel needed and appreciated and loved. I take everything personally and although I'm trying to work on that, I still take everything to heart. Off the cuff remarks and jokes made at my expense will be replayed in my head over and over again for days as I try to work out whether they person was serious or really was only joking. I want everyone to like me and I feel like a failure if somebody doesn't.