missing loads of posts so i’m just gonna start with the most recent events and cover the rest in a while!!!
guess where we went yesterday?
USS!
my mom’s company held a family day thing so the tickets for USS were about 1/3 of its original price if i’m not wrong! initially i wanted to surprise han by going over to his place and buying some lunch for him (bc the day before he told me that his mom’s not at home which just means that there’s not gonna be food at home) but i prepared late and he found out the surprise (the bit where i’m gonna go over to his place to fetch him) so it was a failure!!!!!!!! :( but he said he still love getting these sort of surprises from me even though it wasn’t an unexpected surprise anymore hahahaha but i’m still glad that he’s happy!
so i took a hitch to his place (and skipped the whole takeout for him bc i was already late) and waited for him by the stairs to come down (i thought he would be taking the stairs since he lives on the second floor but his lazy ass took the lift instead wth) and i didn’t even notice him standing opp flashing out his phone to take a video of me (which he posted on his dead ig)
and then from there we went to grab a little bite before heading to the mrt. for some reason, things felt really tense between us like idk if it’s just me feeling that way but it just felt really cold??? then he whipped out his phone again to play ml while i just took out my phone to listen to some music. from yew tee, we would have to stop at jurong and then buona vista before changing lines to the yellow line to get to harborfront. so while on the journey to jurong, we were just doing our own shit. i took out a book (i borrowed from the library about a week and a half ago - it’s called tokyo zodiac murders i think) to read while he continued playing ml. when we reached jurong, we were waiting for the train to buona vista and without double checking, we just boarded this one train only to find out that we were heading back to where we came from when han heard the train operator thingy mention cck. LOL we’re like dumb and dumber sia at that point of time hahahaha and i thought that we would be late for the event but my brother called and told me that apparently we can only go in at 530PM. so we still had plenty of time to kill which was great.
upon arriving at buona vista, i received another call my bro saying that we can only go in at 630PM and by the time we reached the place, it was just slightly after 630 so that was good until we saw the crowd LOLLLL
the amount of people queuing was fucking mental!!! i wished i had taken a video of how much human beans there were but i didn’t thought about it. i honestly couldn’t really stay in focus because it was so hot and i was just perspiring so much and felt sticky everywhere. i should have brought an extra set of top or something but i didn’t, unfortunately. (tryna kick the habit of bringing extra clothes everywhere i go)
we walked a whole round to find the end of the line, only to be brought back right to where we were standing in the beginning, and then we saw that there was another line that seems much shorter than the rest so we decided to move towards that line instead of waiting like a fool following the longer trail of human beans. fortunately, we managed to get into the place in like less than 20 mins. but that wasn’t the end.........
we still had to follow the crowd to i think it’s called SeaWorld or WaterWorld or something, where the winners of the lucky draw was gonna be announced at before a performance and i’m glad we decided to stay for the performance bc it was fucking lit!!!!! i really love it, it was so interesting and really put together. you can see the amount of effort the performers put in to make everything seem so real. i’m not sure if the story is from some old fairytale or something but i think it’s something i would have to research on (if i’m not lazy that is hahaha)
it was already dark by the time the performance ended and as we head out to explore the rest of the place, out of the corner of my eyes i saw my bro and his gf buying something to snack on. so from there, we went on our separate ways. my bro and his gf, han and myself. we were walking around looking for somewhere to eat and we stumbled upon the roasted turkey leg food cart again we so decided to get one of each (should have shared one instead bc it was so salty after awhile), something to munch on while walking around. it was han’s third time at USS whereas its only my second time. i wouldn’t even say it’s second because the first time i went with the fam we didn’t explore the place much and only when there to have lunch/dinner + both me and my bro only rode on the human and cylone ride before my parents decided it was time to head home. so most of the places felt really new to me and i was enjoying myself though i wasn’t sure if han was enjoying himself but i think he was kinda tired from all the walking. he’s not usually the type to like walking for long hours on end but bc i really wanted to walk around, he went along with it.
the turkey legs were too salty to finish up and my bottle of green tea wasn’t helping mask the saltiness so han asked if we should just throw the rest away and then he’ll get a corndog for us to share after noticing a corndog cart about a stone throw away from where we were standing at.
i nodded in agreement and told him i wanna head to the toilet first to wash my hands after which, we went to queue.
the corndog was so good!!! i really love the taste of the batter for the breaded part but han said it was nothing special lmao.
after that we walked around again and then i took a look at the waiting time for the different rides and almost wanted to give up riding anything because one, i was perspiring buckets and two, the waiting time was so long. but han asked me again if i’m sure about leaving and then we noticed that there was a performance showing at 930PM so we decided to stay for that and while waiting we sat nearby mel’s drive-in bc there was another performance there. i also decided to call my bro to ask him if he wanna ride the galatica rollercoasters with me bc i asked han but i felt like i was just forcing him to ride something he dont want to cus he snapped at me when i told him that i dont want to ride it alone and he has to ride it with me hahahaha but my bro’s gf didn’t want to ride the galatica too so han sees it as an opportunity to not ride and used taking my care of my bag as an excuse LOL so i was alrighty then and rode the red one with my bro.
it was so thrilling!!!! i love it even though i felt so queasy afterwards but it felt like all my stress and whatever shitty feeling i was feeling before sorta disappear during the ride. i wanted to ride the blue one (the one where there’s more twists and turns and ur feet will dangle in the air) and han wanted to challenge himself to ride it too but bc both me and my bro was still tryna catch our breaths, his gf suggested riding other rides first - and so we went to the mummy one.
but holy shit i think it was by far the more thrilling one as compared to the red galatica rollercoaster wtf there are so many twists and turns and the atmosphere was so just frikin cold like you’re really underground the mummy’s tomb and shit i absolutely love it!!! i think the suspense was what really made the whole ride interestingly enjoyable and thrilling. before the ride i actually linked arms with han sia hahahaha and i’m glad i did bc at one point of time it was legit scary.
and then after the mummy, we walked towards the puss in boots ride and before that everyone thought that it’s just a lame ass ride for kids and it’s not gonna be scary and i thought like ok at least its gonna be a chill ride BUT OH BOY WAS I SO FUCKING WRONG HAHAHAHHAHAHA the suspenses are fucking killers and ITS DEFINITELY NOT A LAME RIDE. but as compared to the mummy one, this one’s less thrilling.
oh and han was so touchy when we were waiting for the rides HAHAAHAHAH i think he proper was having fun and was really enjoying himself or maybe bc he got to smoke so his mood became happier AHHAHAHA but i really love that side of him more. i was legit perspiring like crazy like my whole tee was drenched in sweat but that didn’t stop him from pulling me closer to him as he embraced me and then grabbed onto my hand holding it tightly. sighHHHH he makes me feel so tingly. i look like shit but he don’t even care hahahhaha
we had a little bit of time for one more ride so for the last one, we decided to ride the transformers one and wah i think out of all this one is my favorite!!! i can understand why its one of his fav too!!! you really feel like you’re in the animation/short movie they were showing. the whole experience was just amazing. to quote him “it feels very 5D” hahahahaha
we didn’t have time to ride the cylone so we gave that up and then from there we went on our separate ways and head back.
han asked whether we will be separating there and going home on our own and without hesitation i said no. and there silence filled the air and during that time i was doing some reflection mentally. like how tired he was, how far away from home and how he will have to travel back and forth. i was just being really selfish so i told him its was okay and we can separate from there but he said no bc the first answer i gave him is what i really wanted (like the truth ah) and he said about how even if i said its ok or if its fine, its actually not ok which tbh is true la but i just...... didn’t want to be selfish and self centered only thinking about my own wellbeing when i know he was as tired as i was, if not more.
(while walking towards vivo, idk how the topic of break up came about but he asked me like what i’d do if he ask for it and honestly without hesitation i told him i would kill myself which i think scared him but idk man my heart will prolly be so broken i think even if i don’t kill myself i will die from the heartbreak. and then i asked him what he’ll do if the role is reverse and he said that he will prolly be like how it was like with the rest of his past rs, ask why and then cry about it and then he’ll be okay. i was.... idk i just didn’t know what to say. what he said hurt me and made me feel like i was “the same like all his other past rs” idk why but i thought maybe i was different, maybe i was The One for him, the one that he will never be able to forget about but ofc i didn’t tell him about how i feel bc i didn’t want to make things anymore awkward so i just kept quiet and pretended things were ok but you know me, i think about things and i just felt like he’s prolly gonna get tired of my shit sooner or later.)
anyway, he still stubbornly refused and wanted to send me back so we decided to take uber back (it was hard to get a hitch at that time and place) and then went to the 24 hours indian shop to have supper before he sent me back. we chilled for a bit at the void deck as per usual and then around 3+ 4, my bro and his gf appeared hhaha so we ended up chilling together and playing a couple rounds of ml before they left (my bro sent his gf home) and then around 5, 5+, han booked a grab to head home.
before that though i asked him something about having to send me home i think, but i can’t quite remember what his response what. i think it was something along the lines of, we live so far from each other sometimes it’s hard or something like that idk.
but i know it made me feel kinda sad though i was thankful that he took time to send me back even though he was so tired and he lives on the other end.
we also talked about wishes and one of his wish is to get a bike but he told me that its something difficult with me around and even though i know it was really just a poor choice of words, it makes me think if i’m a burden and if i’m too much for him to handle.
i really wonder what he thinks of us and if he’s holding back all his feelings because he’s afraid if he put in too much of himself into me, it might all be in vain in the end. i just hope i don’t fuck things up because i really want us to last for a really long time and i know, we don’t know what the future holds for us but honestly, i want to be with him till death do us part, at the very least.
