Do you have any headcanons for everyone's favorite australian?
you might’ve heard some of these already and i definitely don’t consider myself the Best with headcanons but like enjoy ig lol
- if theres an animal, he will touch it. No matter how dangerous. he probably owns a ton of them too. he has absolutely no fear when it comes to animals literally nothing could phase him. (except magpies.. of course)
- stans coles and he collected all the mini collectables Multiple times
- actually bought one of the red hands on ebay for like $600 probably
- fuck woolies
- has very strong opinions on ice cream & icy poles
- golden gaytimes god tier
- mad the paddle pop lion doesn’t have an actual name
- actually contacted the company about it but they got mad at him and threatened to call the police on him if he didn’t leave them alone
- blackcurrent is his favourite zooper dooper flavour (fairy floss is a backup)
- he enjoys kangaroo meat
- he and turkey are actually kinda friends now, or on good terms with each other at least
- he and the rest of Englands Kids all complain about how shitty England is as a father and they all keep a collective journal tallying all the times he missed out on good dad puns
- he and nz have a brother like relationship, they consider each other rivals and are extremely competitive esp against each other but like, at the end of the day they’re still there for each other
- he & wy have a great relationship & he is the best big bro Ever
- you bet your ASS he got so fucking depressed when steve irwin died
- picks on america bc of his shit as hell gun laws & they argue a Lot bc of it
- he’ll probably leave spiders in places you Wouldn’t Wanna Find Spiders if u like upset him or something so like don’t do that
- he Will tell tourists about drop bears and scare the hell out of them
- surprisingly, isn’t very enthusiastic about holidays, doesn’t celebrate halloween, does enjoy christmas though and has a barbie w the other australian micronations and nz down at the beach every year
- he gets Very lonely Very often its sad please give him friends