I absolutely get you on that. Not a fellow author, but I write for myself and some of my experiences w men heavilyyyyy impact my writing. Like when I was 18 there was this guy who kept on stalking me, sending me rape threats, blowing up my phone. And when i blocked his number, hed get a new number to call me from and ask which i did that which absolutely just traumatized me. He lowkey also heavilyyyy manipulated me (im a heavy peoples pleaser). He ruined my chances with people i liked as well. He would go and tell them who knows what and theyd ghost me completely. Like in theory it's hot but irl stay away from me pls😟😟🫵🏻🫵🏻. Yeah so like some of the stuff I write stem from that.
Men r just so scary and I'm so sorry about your experience you don't deserve allat. Please stay safe as well.
Tw for discussing all things terrible :((
Oh dear 😔 It really pains me to see and hear about stuff like that. I am so sorry you went through that, nobody deserves to go through this horror. This person sounds absolutely insane, like should be in prison lowkey? I hope you are safe now and away from that abuser. My mind can’t comprehend how a fellow human being could do something so traumatizing to another human being…
Honestly sometimes (especially lately) I feel the irony of being a dark romance/erotica writer. Sometimes I walk home alone at night and the absolute fear I feel is just that. Fear. There is nothing sexy about it, it’s just scary and even embarrassing (at least I sometimes feel embarrassed that I don’t know how to fight, or that I can’t be firm enough with creeps).
I genuinely don’t understand how people can be so cruel. I’ve done wrong things in my life (like anyone else) and I’ve hurt people, I’ve even struggled with obsessive tendencies myself, but I’ve never put anyone in danger or discomfort, never made anyone feel unsafe (at least not to my knowledge), I have no idea what would urge someone to act in such an entitled way.
This may be TMI (may delete later) but yesterday I opened my curtains cos sunlight, right? And I just started typing on my laptop for some time. I looked up, and a guy from across the street was staring at me, like into my room. He waved at me and blew a kiss, and like. I was already panicking bcos wtf man?? Way to make me feel like a zoo animal?? I look down and ignore him, hoping he goes back into his house. But he doesn’t, and 5 minutes later I look up, and he was naked 💀 I literally can’t do this shit. Why TF would you do that??? Like omg act like a normal human being, what in the inadequate creepy behavior is this? So yeah. I don’t even think this will be hot in fiction for me personally, it’s just too freaky and gross.
Being a woman is exhausting (especially in the summer). I like how literature and creative writing gives us a space to explore and talk about our daily lives and our issues. But it’s also scary how such a big part of women’s sexuality is projection - projection of other people’s expectations, of porn, of violence that we internalize and try to sexualize as a coping mechanism, it’s crazy. And to be honest, it’s sort of the reason I’ve been writing less, and writing about less extreme topics. It started feeling too real. Last summer I had issues with stalking and like… yeah. Not so fun to write about (although sometimes I have ideas I want to explore, of course).
I don’t know, everyone stay safe. I hope in the future things get better. I know there are many good people in the world, but also many bad, and we need to be cautious and alert.
