#author's thoughts

[chillicannoli]

Do you know that moment when you’re writing a fanfic and the two characters bicker and taunt flirt with each other, and you go like, “AaAaaaAAaaaAAa, just kiss already, you two morons!!” and then you remember that you’re the one not letting them kiss because they have to "work for it" first, for the sake of the plot? Yeah, so it SUCKS.

But also: AAAawaOuwaAaaaAAaa so cute i love them…

[layalielsayfeh]

As my wife said, whatever we feel is as nothing compared to what the victims have, and will, go through. And in the grand scheme of things, our brief disquiet seems, to me now as it did then, a most pathetic cry in this vast wilderness.

- Steven Erikson

[darksyren77]

My life got taken over by Tadc a few weeks back, after having posts and videos about it shoved in my face and deciding to check it out.

I definitely like the series (kinda wish I'd found it earlier and got to wait and theorise alongside others while waiting for new episodes, though apparently parts of the fandom are rather toxic?) and it got me thinking on the ending slowly approaching.

So, here are some of my theories on the Ending/Episode 9 of The Amazing Digital Circus

1. They are not leaving the Circus

The theme the show has been operating under since the Pilot is 'working together' and 'making the best out of what you have'.

Mostly, this has been shown through the Exit never once coming up in Epsides 1-6. In the Pilot, Pomni is all about the Exit, while everyone else is resigned ro there not being one, and in the end she also comes to that conclusion.

The rest of the series is then Pomni learning about her new world, bonding with different characters, trying to help them help themselves and those interactions causing ripples that spread through the group (ex.: Pomni -> Kinger -> Ragatha). And while everyone talks about their former lifes or about wanting to leave sometimes, none of them try to find a way out again, and it's usually not the main focus of the Episodes.

Episode 7 and the Able plot felt strange and out of nowhere (to me at least) because that's what they were. They were a sudden deviation from thr rest of the series and, of course, tuned out to be a Caine Adventure, not real, and culminated in the group deciding in Episode 8 to stick together, do their best with what they have and give up on leaving the Circus.

There is also the point in Episode 8 where Zooble and Gangle tell Kinger about them possibly having found an exit - while he is in the darkness of his pillow fortress - and he is visibly confused by that. Almost as if there is no exit, and he knows it.

Going back on that decision now would thematically feel off.

Also, how would this group of random people figure something out that the people who had a hand in building the Circus/program could not?

1.2 tackling the question of What they are?

I personally don't subscribe to the Brain Scan Theory, mostly because of three factors: The way the programmers in Kinger's flashback to Queenie were acting, and Kinger himself and what that would mean for the characters.

The programmers all seem convinced that the Circus around them is real. That what they are experiencing - being stuck there - is a thing. So, to them, it probably is. They found the AI they'd cut off (remember the beginning of Episode 8) had built something for itself and wanted to check it out. So they set up what should have been virtual reality glasses and 'hopped in' so to speak, only to find they were stuck there.

Kinger: Kinger, as a programmer on Caine and somewhat the Circus, should know if they are only brain scans or not. And yet, he sees Queenie's abstraction as very much her death, as all the other abstractions are treated. And he never speaks up to say that the Circus is just a scan. And we know he is sane enough that he should be aware of those things.

So, as far as I see it, C&A is one of those shady story companies, who had one of their AI go rouge and take out a bunch of their best programmers and covered it up, before shutting everything connected to Caine off. Some scrapper or thief raided the building years later, took some of those 'virtual reality' headsets without knowing their true purpose and sold them online/on the black market. Everyone else who got sucked in was just very unlucky.

The characters: If they all are brain scans, that would definitely be revealed, otherwise its irrelevant. But think about what revealing that would mean: none of them are actually human, none of them are 'real', nothing they ever tried/did held any sort of meaning. I think that if they were told this? That would be an incredibly cruel thing to do. I also think they'd all abstract then and there over that.

But I also don't think this is actually going to come up. Gooseworx is not going to give us a definitive answer on that, and we'll have to live with it.

So, what happens next? What could happen plot-wise?

2. The Circus is glitching/falling apart without Caine and they need to deal with that

We already see the Circus failing. The colour leaving, parts of the floor breaking away, the glitching. And that's only in the what, one minute since Caine died? We saw him and his emotions have an effect on the Circus before, beginning with his therapy session with Zooble and ending in everything glitching during his office breakdown. Caine and the Circus are connected on a deep level, and without him, it's falling apart.

There are two ways I see this going.

2.1 Bubble

Was Bubble deleted alongside Caine? It's not really shown and how things continue depends heavily on what Bubble actually is. So what could Bubble be?

2.1.1 Bubble is Able

In that case, the gang might find themselves being confronted with a new AI, one that had a large hand in Caine's crashout (not that they know that) and might not be very kind to them. After all, Bubble him/herself (them?) has been getting ruder and mouthier throughout the series. 'Able' might not be happy about anything, finally free and act on that.

In that case, Bubble would be the Final Boss, so to say, that they'd have to fight except...they tried that with Caine and it didn't really work?

How do you beat an all powerful AI?

With another AI.

This is the 'Caine comes back' route, except its the group bringing him back through Kinger getting access to Caine's office/a console, rewriting his code (and discretely putting him through therapy) and have Caine take over from Bubble.

Best case, Caine manages Bubble.

Worst case, two AI's are fighting while the group runs for cover. Maybe they lock those two away somewhere and just kind of continue on, knowing at least the AIs existence keeps the Circus alive.

2.1.2 Bubble is a Thought Bubble and also gone

Bubble is introduced alongside Caine but not as the Ringmaster, so I at first considered them simply Caine's assistant.

Then Bubble begins deteriorating - rudeness, cursing, general strangeness and acting out - while the humans grow more and more unhappy and Caine sprints towards his breakdown, so I theorised that Bubble is an indication of that:

Bubble is a thought bubble, basically Caine's intrusive thoughts/emotions given a face. And in this case, Bubble would have been the glaring red flag of Caine not doing well.

And here, with Caine gone, Bubble is as well.

2.1.3 Bubble is a virus

I'm...honestly not sure how that would work or influence things, except maybe then Bubble would continue trying to take over and destroy they Circus? The way Bubble kept multiplying in Caine's office, and the group being faced with more and more Bubble-forms that can now theoretically cause them harm they can't heal/regenerate from?

Maybe here, Kinger would have to gain access to a console to stop the virus from spreading and 'kill' Bubble, while the rest has to survive until then.

2.2 The Sacrifice

If the Circus needs an AI/someone to run it, and Caine is gone, then someone else has to do it. And the humans can conjure things.

2.2.1 Kinger codes a new AI

Kinger, with input from the others, taking what he remembers from creating Caine and creating a new AI.

This new AI would be influenced by all of them, given more/different directives to Caine and take over the Circus.

Basically, this would be the group raising a baby AI on how to keep them and itself alive, though I think this is highly unlikely.

2.2.2 Pomni taking over the position and becoming less than human in the process

Pomni, as the main character, the one who has been emotionally connecting with the group at large and who led the angry crash out against Caine, might feel responsible.

She is also the most sane and as of yet unaffected of the group, so her taking over wouldn't have too many disastrous consequences.

If the group is in danger from say - the Abstractions breaking out* - she might keep them focussed, safe and be the one to bring up Caine's office, where, once they hide there and find they need to replace Caine, she would make the decision to do so herself. This could either be somw kind of manually plugging herself into a console through wires (?) or using her ability to conjure things to break off from the others and make herself 'less human'.

If she does:

Ragatha has a breakdown and looses her positivity.

Jax abstracts, then and there.

Kinger will never forgive himself for Pomni sacrificing her life and existence for his mistakes and looses the rest of his sanity.

2.2.3 Kinger taking over the position and becoming less than human in the process

Kinger killed Caine.

Kinger had a hand in designing the very Circus they're trapped in.

Kinger already feels guilty over killing Caine and, when faced with the imminent deaths of the rest of his found family, would probably gladly step up to 'fix his mistakes'.

Kinger also has the most knowledge and experience with programming and code and conjuring, so him replacing Caine would be logical. He'd also be kinder and more understanding of what the humans need.

Ragatha would still cry, Pomni would too. But I think in general - because he was mostly an insane recluse - the rest of the group would handle his sacrifice a little better.

(These last two are heavily influenced by the TADC Replacement Code AU, by calsifer323 on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWoLHz_DR1h/?igsh=bjdzNW1pZHh4cWJn)

3. The Abstractions

The Abstractions are going to break out and cause additional chaos for our group.

We see the Circus beginning to break down with Caine's death and he was supposedly the one keeping them in the cellar.

We know they still exist (maybe the darkness helped them calm down a little the way Kinger said it did for Queenie? That could explain why there weren't any known attempts of them breaking out until now) and aren't dead/deleted. And we've already seen - with Jax's almost Abstraction in Episode 7 - that there is a history there of these people.

I'm guessing, that we are going to get Jax' background through this, mostly due to him being closely connected to Ribbit and whatever happened to her/him(?).

4. Backgrounds

We already had some backstory in Episode 5, for everyone but Kinger and Jax.

Kinger then talked about Some of his live before the circus in Epsiode 8, though I think - especially if the Abstractions come into play - that we might get more there, including What exactly Scratch was trying to build and how he abstracted.

I'm thinking Scratch, with his brain tumour, wanted to build a program where he could upload his consciousness and exist after his death, but with full access to the outside world. Instead, he ended up trapping himself and his co-workers, and that, combined with the tumour, drove him to abstract.

As I said before, I'm also pretty sure we're getting Jax' backstory in Episode 9, first the Ribbit connection and then spiralling into his former life.

If we're very lucky, the background might involve a glimpse of their human forms and some more information there.

I think it's interesting that not one of them talked about 'having someone waiting outside'. Zooble throws that in Jax' face when he jokes about it, but they didn't name anyone either. None of them did. The closest we got was Ragatha mentioning her mother but...that's not a good relationship. And Kinger remembering Queenie, but that was already in the Circus and she's gone. So what if they talk about it again? And about how they got their headsets? I think that would be interesting.

That's all I have for now!

[sticks-stones-and-bittybones]

Oh man, guys, Cult of the Lamb has got me in a chokehold right now. I haven't even started the next chapter yet...oh man. I just defeated The One Who Waits, but apparently there's more story after that!?

Also it looks like the One Shot that won in the poll was the saving a bitty from a neglectful household, so I'll be putting that on my roster of crapolla I need to do.

[outof--theshadows]

Had an idea, so I turn to the masses.

Should Cinderpelt have Wobbly Cat Syndrome?

Yes

No

Maybe ?

Voting ended onOct 11, 2023

Some things! I'm not sure if I'll keep her getting hit by a car. That plot point is important to the story, but it could hypothetically be replaced by something else. I might, might not. Depending on the results, I might do another poll. I might keep her as a med cat if I give her WCS. She spends much of her kithood in the medicine den to help correct the issues it causes her, and a lot of her apprenticeship as well. In addition, I'm writing in a mandatory three moon period for all apprentices to study medicine. This would allow her to gain actual interest in medicine and healing prior to the car accident and make that shift less sudden.

[hawkeyes-chicklet]

Lately, I read something about creating a fantasy journal. I don't want to create a fantasy world, I would do a fake journal for my OC? I could work out how she feels. Maybe add photos or sketches.

I'm juggling this in my head. But it would require handwriting to do it right in my opinion. A fine journal.

It's tempting. Any of you ever kept a fantasy journal?

[fanfixes]

Going down the Rabbit Hole & Why being a Fan Girl is sorta a Saving Grace

How it all began:

I’ve been on Tumblr for years. It started in high school, about 7 years ago and I’ve opened and deactivated multiple accounts across this period of time. There’s some sorta pattern that flows with my sudden resurgence each phase and a licensed therapist would declare it a coping mechanism - and I’d agree.

But it is what it is, isn’t it - an escape. If I could trace FURTHER back, to when I watched my first movie and “escaped” I probably understand why writing fan-fict, deconstructing characters, spending hours reading about other works of the same lengthened that space to ignore the outside world and its mischiefs.

And funnily enough, Tumblr has always provided this safe space. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook doesn’t cut it for me. The kind of security I receive from this platform is different - I feel heard yet not exposed and I can’t put my finger on it but its just... it’s special. 

It’s a place for creatives, the lonely girls, the hyperactive ones who need to let that energy out onto a page and interact with people who could appreciate their fanaticism. It’s a shared experience, yet also somewhat, incredibly personal.

Coming home:

About a year ago, I lost someone very important to me. This was during a time where there was already so much loss. Grief settled in the air and as I felt my consolations unworthy of attention seeing that everyone had someone they lost, I kept it in, “soldiered through”. My friends checked on me, and they created this list of stuff for me to watch BUT while I sifted through the recommendations, there was a sort of anticipatory anxiety attached to the idea of starting new shows / movies, so I didn’t.

My biggest mistake was pouring myself into my work which felt natural since most of my nights were spent finalising assignments and my days were spent answering my employers. That fragment of curiosity, imagination and fantasy that lived in me dwindle off and can I just say, it was probably one of the dullest times of my life. It was a disappointing time to be alive. 

Work was definitely an excuse, because the first time I tried relaxing, it was chaotic. And I felt awkward trying to be something I wasn’t and allowing myself to be someone I was. 

The Viscount who Loved Me:

It started with Bridgerton, and knowing a little about the show, as I mentioned before in my previous posts, I could somewhat tame that anxiety I had in starting anything new. And GOD did it pay off. 

I loved what they did with Bridgerton. I identified with Kate, I could understand Anthony’s loss and as a struggling artist myself, I got what Benedict was going through. I connected with the show in ways I didn’t think I could. 

There was so much character complexities to drown yourself into and as someone figuring herself out, being able to watch parts of yourself interact with parts of yourself started conversations I wouldn’t have had, if I didn’t first see it. 

That’s sorta how writing fan-fict came about. I couldn’t get Benedict out of my head, so I put him on paper. I devoured the Bridgerton series and well, tweaked the fict to fit my idea of what I’d love to see play out. 

CAST INTERVIEWS & Thank you Luke Thompson:

Cast interviews were somewhat instructive, not just about the characters they played or the dynamic but, being able to just tap into what made the characters their own felt therapeutic. 

Luke Thompson has this interview on the YouTube Channel “An Actor Despairs” and it is my favourite interview of the year. It was inspiring to hear him talk about his journey and that raw dedication to his work renewed my mind on what it was I wanted from my life. How I wanted to build it. How to allow myself to just go with the flow and live.

So it was clear that falling in love with a show came with the territory of falling in love with the actors, especially when they are so passionate about their work. 

That to me, is what differentiates their job from being just entertainment to becoming a vocation. 

You do learn a lot about life and personalities when you are working on these projects. Just diving into An Offer from a Gentlemen for the sake of the fict I wrote, brought me into seasons of understanding Benedict beyond what was written.

Coupled with my deeper dive of Luke Thompson’s process allowed me to get where he was coming from and provided a clearer vision on what Benedict meant to the Bridgerton storyline.

Robert Aramayo nerd-ing out:

Robert Aramayo, is the second actor this year who’s looped me into his vortex. He just fell in love with the legendarium (as he often says) and poured himself into becoming Young Elrond, so much so, that they now feel like two separate individuals. Rob Aramayo disappeared into the world Rings of Power created and as I go through Tolkien’s works now, I can understand why he was so engrossed with it in the first place.

Both these actors made me appreciate acting for more than just the shallow concept I used to have of it - reading lines and conveying those conversations in a convincing enough manner to not look fake. I didn’t appreciate the art enough to get it many years before, but now that I do, it’s such a beautiful form of expression and self-identification.

I can’t help but be engrossed in these new worlds, in my private space and love it for what it makes me feel. I am thankful for all the creations and different forms of entertainment they bring and the heartfelt discussions on the characters which remind us of some people we meet or are. Bridgerton and Rings of Power aren’t the only shows I’ve watched the whole year, I have to add - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING about this universe of ART, FANTASY & MOVIES/SERIALS are what make people feel alive, are what made me feel alive.

As John Keating said in Dead Poet’s Society:

“WE READ AND WRITE POETRY BECAUSE WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE. AND THE HUMAN RACE IS FILLED WITH PASSION. AND MEDICINE, LAW, BUSINESS, ENGINEERING, THESE ARE NOBLE PURSUITS AND NECESSARY TO SUSTAIN LIFE. BUT POETRY, BEAUTY, ROMANCE, LOVE, THESE ARE WHAT WE STAY ALIVE FOR.”

We dive into these worlds of imagination because of its relationship with our minds, these are what gives life a meaning. The mechanics of making money, succeeding in the financial and lucrative sense is monotonous and dry - there’s nothing much to it but stacks of papers and detachable figures. There is nothing more exciting than finding something to be excited about and as the days passed, I realised I wanted to be more in touched with a part of me that I felt needed to be suppressed after surpassing a certain age. That inner child shouldn’t have to vacate the premise simply because I’m 25. After all, I was probably the closest to being my truest self back then than I am today. And I wouldn’t have known it... if not for this saving grace.

[cvntyblogger]

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨; 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘺, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘗𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨.

- Sadie by Courtney Summers