to me as a disabled housebound bedbound person the amazing digital circus is a chronic illness and disability story.
i broke down crying and had to pause the episode when Zooble said "But I had dreams and goals! This just sucks" because FUCKING SAME.
but sometimes people lose their place in the world. their dreams and goals are inaccessible. their bodies become unrecognizable. their personalities and emotions become unrecognizable. they deny reality, reject companionship. they dissociate from their lives and past selves. they lose the ability to be a part of the larger world and do the things they used to do and live the lives they always lived.
I dont think they will leave the circus and i hope they wont because i dont want a cure story.
sometimes you lose your life and you just have to figure out how to keep living afterwards.
and at least having someone else there makes it bearable. as long as you have other people, you can keep living even if your life is over.
“ai/module/consciousnessresearch” stated at the top. What.
“Torment must be 100% accidental…”
Okay so we already knew Caine was an AI (character) in the circus. And that Bubble is an additional AI. Why isn’t it named? Unless that isn’t Bubble? Wasn’t it created by Caine? Why doesn’t the system label or name it?
Bubble was completely checked out here right after Caine disappeared. Perhaps it was a sort of parasite (foreshadowed) that relied on Caine?
Kinger was talking to “Caine” here.
Caine refers to Kinger as “G_an_” before saying he has a resourceful mind.
Kinger’s name in the real world was probably Grant.
with what gooseworx said about caine not being outright evil, but rather just not understanding humans and their needs, the whole daisy bell thing becomes just kind of sad and cute. it was the first song a computer ever sang. an expression of humanity from an inherently non-human thing.
when zooble hides inside their room, caine assumes they're upset; not that they're hiding from him. so instead of summoning them, teleporting inside their room, anything else like that, he sings daisy bell outside their door. he doesn't know what else he can do. everything he does seems to upset them. so he tries to be more human. and just like how so many people consider that original computer's rendition of the song "creepy", zooble says the same about caine's.
singing is something considered inherently human. for a computer to have the ability to sing brings it a step closer to humanity, even if it's still on its own distinct lane.
caine wants so desperately to connect with zooble. to understand why they're so unhappy. but he can't. he's not a human. he just tries.
The Most IMPORTANT Dynamic in TADC is Zooble and Jax.
Yes, the two rage-baiters who have the most unserious beef are actually really important. No, I’m not kidding. Now hear me out…
Zooble and Jax are very different people that seem completely incompatible. And yet, there are also several moments in the show where they have similar opinions, civil conversations, or even what could be harmless banter. Their relationship is stuck at a crossroads between enemies and friends, this weird limbo that sits in an interesting gray area that I don’t see a lot of in other media. So, when either of them could easily cross a line and destroy any semblance of connection… why don’t they? While it might have to do with keeping an engaging and entertaining dynamic, it could also be telling us something about the overall message of the show.
I’m going to be covering three topics: self-expression, dialogue, and dynamics. It will be completely episode nine leak-free, and I will leave episode numbers for all the moments that I reference since this meta won’t be totally chronological. This will be quite long (as my brainrot has only gotten worse since episode seven) but I hope this meta can give you a new and interesting perspective on my favorite relationship in The Amazing Digital Circus!
OKAY LET'S GO
Self-Expression
As it turns out, the two people who are the most pessimistic about their situation are, of course, the most resentful concerning their humanity. But what does it mean when one is angry about their lack of access to their human nature, while the other is angry about how they can’t escape their human nature?
Personality
Both characters fit the "asshole" archetype in a way, but their inner turmoil contradicts the image they project. Zooble is arguably the sanest person in the cast; not just because they are generally levelheaded but because they are unafraid to speak their mind. This often results in them coming off as a blunt, sometimes cold person who tends to distance themself from the adventures (but ultimately not the people). What is revealed over episodes 3–7 is that Zooble does have some serious insecurities and unrest despite how self-assured they appear. At the same time, this humanity also displays the heart of gold they have at the center of their personality; which allows them to let people in and bond in spite of their turmoil.
Jax both reflects this struggle, but the outward projection is very different. At first glance, Jax appears much more sociable and even likable despite how much of a jerk he is. He also speaks his mind, but in a way that is more agreeable with the adventures and rules of the circus. Meanwhile, the people around him often suffer as a result of his brutal actions. What his internal struggle reveals is how much he does care about having control over his circumstances. The fear and insecurity he has about his human nature does not allow for any vulnerability. As a result, he only pushes people away and gets caught in self-destructive and isolating cycles. The dichotomy here is that while Zooble can separate themselves from the superficial, scripted interactions of the adventures, they still reach out for real human connection. But Jax, no matter how much he pretends to not care, and how often he involves himself in the company of others, still feels the weight of his isolation.
Profanities
Cursing is a natural way for people to express anything from humor to fury. So to see the very different extents as to which both these characters use them says a lot about how they fight or give in to the rules of the circus. Zooble curses whenever they please, being unapologetic about how they really feel at any given moment. Despite the censorship of the circus, they don't care if the word itself isn't heard; it's the human expression of their emotions that gets across (anger, shock, annoyance). At first, this trait does come off as juvenile or unnecessary in a world that doesn’t need profanities. But what is important is that Zooble is able to have serious conversations with both people they respect like Gangle, and those that they don’t like Caine. The cursing is not done in order to “act mature”, but to rebelliously keep a natural part of their personality from before the circus. It has authentic roots, not attention-seeking ones.
Conversely, Jax follows the rules of the circus and integrates non-cursing to the performance of his character. He will gladly follow them as it doesn’t get in the way of his act as an instigator, since much of his “profanities” are displayed through his actions instead of words. But he can’t always keep this facade up, as long-buried emotions will bring up old habits. The one time he does curse is when his control over a situation is lost, like in his argument with Pomni in episode 6, and the mask slips. But even in other moments when he is incredibly angry or distressed (most notably Caine's betrayal in episode seven) Jax's separation from his humanity continues to be reinforced (he was right).
Gender
Their experiences with gender look very different on the surface, but both carry the same kind of internal struggle. What Zooble struggles with is body and gender dysphoria; the image of their identity does not match the physical arrangement of their parts. It is likely that this is something they may have struggled with in real life, making this problem cut even deeper. Yet they still want to confront this struggle head-on instead of ignoring it. There's a desire to find what feels "right" by figuring out which parts could achieve that purpose (episode 3). But it turns out, "right" does not need to be a single expression. It says a lot that they verbally accept this truth for the first time with Jax; “maybe the ability to change is fine” (episode 7). They come to not only accept their "gimmick" but the fact that they don't need to “solve” the struggle in the way that Caine wanted them to. The parts box is now a means of exploration instead of a one-way solution to their dysphoria.
On the other hand, Jax not only projects an “archetype” on himself, but a strict expression of masculinity. In order to assert his "manliness" over the body he was given, his masculinity is just as much a part of the mask as his "cartoon" act. This is most notable from the bedrooms we’ve seen in the circus so far, as they likely materialize as an internal struggle that each player has to confront—Zooble’s room is covered in mirrors, serving as a constant reminder of their dysphoria. So what may truly lie underneath Jax’s performative and toxic masculinity is a disdain for how he desires feminine expression, and in turn, feminine identity, which is completely laid bare in every aspect of his room.
It is a part of himself that he likely feels a lot of shame about, even in a place where he isn’t faced with the judgement of the outside world. But wouldn’t it hurt more to be judged by the only people he has left? As a result, he projects that insecurity towards other feminine things or people (e.g. disdain towards Gangle's shy behavior, Ragatha's gentle nature, and calling Zooble a "damsel" in a directly demeaning sense). There’s clearly a lot buried here that he refuses to address, and that I don’t feel qualified to talk in depth about as a cis person. But I do think that this is one area where Jax might feel envy towards Zooble as someone who can openly express their real gender identity even with the risk of judgement.
Ultimately, while Zooble’s conflict is very internalized like Jax’s, there is little external projection. They don’t feel the need to prove themself to anyone while he needs to push everyone away and play off his behavior as completely detached. Jax has to actively put the mask up in order to deflect his humanity, but Zooble willingly puts their walls down even when it seems pointless.
Dialogue
The amount of dialogue these two share is kind of insane, especially when they talk about or to the same character. I was able to narrow down several examples to three pairs of scenes, and each has a theme or idea that goes deeper into their psyche. However, there are also a ton of little examples that I did not have the time to include (this section is already long enough) that also reflect these ideas as well.
Example #1: Archetypes - EP 3/EP 6
This set of scenes are probably my favorite out of the three, and it’s a really good place to start when we consider how their relationship with humanity can also tell us how much they really know about their fellow circus members. For context, Zooble’s lines are from the therapy scene with Caine in episode three, while Jax’s lines are from the hallway conversation with Pomni during episode six.
Ragatha: "too nice to say anything." / "the cheerful one!"
Both Zooble and Jax perceive her behavior as routinely friendly, but the former really acknowledges Ragatha's people pleasing. She isn't necessarily "cheerful" all the time because she always has an optimistic outlook. Rather, she's too afraid to act otherwise in fear of upsetting others, and being perceived as too harsh. In the context of Caine, even here she is too wary of criticizing the adventures that are literally made to entertain them. It's also important to note that Jax doesn't say "nice" but "cheerful" which highlights his distrust of her.
Gangle: "too shy to speak up." / "the sad one!"
Zooble very clearly does not reduce Gangle to her mask "gimmick" by saying she struggles with being sad all the time. Instead, they state a different and more pressing struggle she has; self-esteem. She has come to believe that her opinions, or even her experiences don’t matter to others because of the mistreatment she's faced by Jax. Meanwhile, he wants to be blind to this harm and reduces it to her "broken" masking.
Each other: "Jax just likes to fuck with everybody." / "Zooble's the grumpy one!"
Yet again, Zooble pinpoints the root of the behavior by bluntly stating Jax's desire for control over others. He only goes along with the adventures because it allows him to disrupt everyone else’s peace. This is something he even acknowledges about himself later on, but without the key element of his disassociation. It is this separation from humanity that allows him to justify his own actions. Meanwhile, his view on Zooble is simplistic and he sees their resistance to the circus as just "grumpiness".
Additionally, one detail I absolutely love about this parallel is that Zooble looks directly at the audience (breaking the fourth wall like he does) and Jax flips off Pomni, mirroring their gesture.
Kinger: "insane." / "the crazy one!"
This is, funnily enough, the only similar description they both have. Despite the fact that Kinger has been present in the circus for a long time and clearly has some knowledge buried underneath his silly facade, they both see him as someone who's lost it. However, when this perception is challenged in episode eight, Zooble accepts this change while Jax continues to panic due to the collapse of his archetypal reality.
Pomni: "looks traumatized everytime she comes back from one." / "and you haven't figured that out yet."
Now here is a bit of a subversion; at first glance, Zooble is the one with a more reductive view of Pomni (though at the time it is accurate) while Jax is giving her the ability to choose as he can’t seem to put a label on her. But it's clear that the overarching motives still remain the same, as the former seeks to sympathize and explain to Caine while the latter looks to diminish everyone's struggles. This includes Pomni's, which in this instance he's attempting to mold her into the kind of archetype he wants (someone to encourage his crimes). Yet at the same time, it strangely gives her a freedom to define herself even if it is for the sake of dehumanizing her, just as he does with everyone else.
Themselves: "I don't like myself. I hate this body, I hate all these stupid removable pieces. I just want to find something that feels... good." / "I add a key dynamic! I see how far I can push things, I screw with people, and I break the fourth wall! ... Cause I'm the funny one!"
Even with an unfeeling AI like Caine, Zooble is still able to be vulnerable about their dysphoria. They aren't afraid to be frustrated with the human struggles they still face, even if he won't understand. Ultimately, they don't care about how others will feel about their expression but about how they personally feel. However, Zooble's end goal is to find one thing that feels good, when one arrangement of parts might not be what actually feels right.
But Jax defines himself based on his relationship to other people—specifically in finding their breaking point. So much of his archetype is about the performance. How can he convince everyone (and in a meta sense, the audience that he refers to when he breaks the fourth wall) that the character is real? While Zooble is focused on self-reflection, he is concerned with how everyone else perceives him as that defines how well he can "remove" his humanity. In the end, it’s all about his dynamic with everyone else, and that’s how he can convince himself that his role is “necessary” even when everyone hates him for it.
Example #2: Humanity/Reality
When it comes to discussions about humanity, I find it really interesting that these two conversations are framed with two different relationships; Zooble/Gangle and Jax/Pomni. Both Zooble and Jax start to form a new friendship starting in episode four and they are more formally established with the teams in EP 6. From here on out, their conversations with that person start to noticeably parallel one another.
Zooble’s scenes are from their conversation with Gangle in episode six and episode seven, and Jax’s lines are again pulled from episode six. While many like to dissect the fight with Pomni as most indicative to the way he thinks about his humanity, I personally think this earlier scene tells us even more about how detached he’s trying to be.
Jax, EP 6: "You know none of this is real, right? ... Why do you care about [not hurting your friends]?"
Here is the line where it is made clear that Jax's motivation to control others stems from the belief that they aren't even human. Even with his later crashout near the end of this episode, this phrase is still the most disturbing to me simply due to his delivery. He is so matter-of-fact about it that he likely genuinely believes it, or at least really wants to. It's a means of justifying his own actions; they aren't human and he isn't human, so any emotions or pain that present themselves aren’t real either.
Zooble, EP 7: "It always was real. Everything we felt. Everything we've done. Everything we are. It'll never leave us."
In direct contrast with the last quote, Zooble believes everything that they have experienced in the circus is real, even if the world itself isn't. The only thing that will change when everyone goes back to the real world is the physical realm they exist in, not the soul. It validates their relationship with Gangle as something that extends beyond the digital confines of their reality. But Jax's reaction to Zooble saying this in the background is panic; he recognizes that once he goes back to the real world, every terrible thing he has done in the circus will still have weight and consequence (which then shifts over to his actions in the real world—he can't go back to that) and so he presses the red button.
Jax, EP 6: "You want to hold onto that part of you that still thinks it's part of that world, but in the end, what does it get you? ... Whether we like it or not, all we are now is a bunch of cartoon characters. So what's the point of pretending we're not?"
Jax concludes this whole argument with his belief that "we all just became archetypes" which suggests a shift towards becoming non-human. He's given up hope at this point for not only escape, but also that he'll never be the same person he was before. He doesn't see himself as a person due to so many years of being separated from his real life and body. With that, Jax is projecting his own (attempted) disassociation onto every other member of the circus. Yet he himself has played a role in keeping the other members in their "archetype"—Gangle remains "sad" due to her mistreatment, Ragatha is "cheerful" in the hopes that her attitude can outweigh his actions, and Zooble is always "grumpy" from being instigated by him.
Zooble, EP 6: "You're a human. You're not his toy. ... It's a part of you that's real, and the only you that you should care about is the real you. You have to choose to love yourself even if it doesn't make sense. It's not natural, it's intentional."
What makes this quote so significant is that Zooble says this not to assert or comfort themself, but to directly comfort someone else. They may not believe it fully yet, but it encompasses their worldview in a place where the cast has been stripped of their ability to express and even love themself naturally. Gangle's autonomy and identity is validated, and in turn, she validates Zooble's identity (through her perspective) as well.
Additionally, it is important to note that Jax’s conversation with Pomni and Zooble’s conversation with Gangle will greatly determine the trajectory that these relationships will take later on.
Example #3: Caine and Humans
Lastly, I think the way that their relationship with Caine parallels one another says a lot about how connected they are to their own humanity. How does the most (seemingly) detached character versus the most attached character react differently to a one-on-one conversation with their AI captor? For two people who are often quite confrontational or instigative, the context of their circumstances have forced Jax and Zooble to take a different approach.
EP 3: Therapy Session
Caine recognizes his lack of human ability in creating his "art"—"And if what you're saying is that I'm bad at the only thing I'm good at, then that would... be..."—which highlights something deeper than an inability to capture Zooble’s interest. Their inherent connection with their own humanity is something that Caine can never appeal to, as it is something he lacks in his creations. With every adventure Zooble avoids, it is yet another failed attempt at capturing a human experience. This might be why Caine craves their validation so much; it would affirm his own desired humanity from the one person who refuses to see him in that way. But interestingly enough, it is this challenging conversation that gets a human-like reaction out of Caine—frustration and doubt, not just anger like other times.
I think it is also important to notice the context behind the adventure in this episode, as Caine has intentionally tried to shift his artistic direction into something that Zooble would like. But his attempts at maturity only result in something terrifying and violent. Or in other words, something that Jax would have much more preferred—especially after lamenting over the “anti-climactic” lack of blood, death and violence in the previous episode.
EP 7: Dinner Date
Caine showing his adoration for humanity and wanting them to like him—"Is it that I'm actually a cool guy with cool hobbies and not that much different from you beautiful humans?"—is something that Jax superficially seems to display, as he's always gone along with each adventure. Yet this is only because he has tried to abandon his humanity, accepting the wacky hijinks of Caine's stories because they carry no human logic, only familiar fictional tropes that allow him to enact chaos against the others. Hence, Caine's ideal participants would not be human, but more like fictional characters. In episode five we see Caine watching the “President Pomni” adventure through a TV screen, perceiving Jax’s behavior as "phenomenal acting” since so much of his personality is literally a performance. Even the entertainer seeks to be entertained.
But Jax's passive acceptance of the adventures is not what Caine wants, rather affirmation that his personality is indeed “human-enough” from someone who seems to like his work. And contrasting from his debate with Zooble, this only has the opposite effect of Caine failing to recognize what the circus members really want and need. What stands out here is that despite the thematic opposition between Zooble and Jax, Caine still wants validation from both of them and fails at truly gaining both. His character is a complex, contradictory enigma as he’s too human (selfish, needy) for Jax, but too artificial (aloof, inept) for Zooble.
Dynamics
There’s a lot that I could cover when it comes to dynamics, so reducing the complexities of their relationships to a few core examples is definitely challenging. But one thing that you can really pull from Zooble and Jax’s relationships is that they inversely mirror one another. As Zooble grows closer to some of the others (most notably with Gangle) they grow as a character; but while Jax does the same (most notably with Pomni) he digs himself into a deeper, lonelier grave. This has everything to do with what they want out of these relationships and how they go about getting it.
With each other
It is very easy to take Zooble's comment in episode five ("Fun isn't the thing I hate.") at face value. They do not make their disdain for Jax subtle, but there are lines they won't cross in humbling him. The way they describe him in episode 3 shows that they recognize his true intentions—not to "have fun" but to mess with people's minds. Ultimately, Zooble doesn't hate the human, but the character. They hate his performance of the "funny one" as it doesn't aim to make others laugh but to make himself feel powerful. So, while Zooble sees right through his facade, they don’t exactly know what's on the other side. Regardless, they know that despite the way Jax acts, there is still a human soul that deserves some respect and help underneath.
The partial olive branch they offer him in episode seven shows that any discord between the two won't stop them from still being concerned with his wellbeing. And the invitation Zooble gives him to be a part of the group (“you’re still one of us”) in episode eight makes it impossible for Jax to keep thinking that they couldn’t care less about him. It also says a lot that the line “go off and abstract or something” is exactly what almost happened after Jax had left their last conversation in the prior episode. He can try to pretend that everything is okay, but Zooble’s perceptiveness continues to knock down his many attempts to keep playing his role.
On the other hand, Jax is consistently trying to shove Zooble into one archetype or another, but their resistance makes this somewhat difficult. Instead, he reduces them to being the “grumpy” one, in a way that makes their dynamic kind of like a rivalry. Both find a way of getting back at one another, but he knows that if he pushes a little too roughly, Zooble won’t just take it but will actively find a way to get back at him. As a result, Jax never tries to seriously cross the line with making them suffer like he does with Gangle. This balancing act between holding back and knowing when to strike reveals how the two of them push each other's buttons in a way that is both deliberately retaliatory and shows how much they know/remember about each other. If anything, there is a familiarity that could be reminiscent of a more lighthearted relationship, which is most noticeable when they are forced to work together in episode eight.
In fact, this might be why Jax chooses to engage with them again and again. It’s almost reminiscent of the playful banter he likely had with Ribbit and Kaufmo. Yet Jax’s interactions with Zooble are clearly undercut by mutual resentment, and in some moments, you can see how their antagonism takes him off guard sometimes. He can’t keep the illusion of a “friendship” both because of their (understandable) mistrust of him, and he would never let himself be that vulnerable with someone he’s supposed to dislike. They are a constant reminder of who he could be—assertive but not mean, independent but not isolated. As such, he feels both disdainful and likely, envious toward them.
With Gangle
Other than the most distinctive quality of the relationship being how kindly Zooble treats her compared to Jax, there is another aspect that I think is less obvious. What is notably prominent in the show is that Jax insists on constantly engaging with Gangle. This isn't just because she is an easy target, but her lack of resistance validates Jax's "archetype" belief and his need for attention. He can't play his role as the "funny one" without a participant to constantly be at the receiving end, and Gangle unwillingly fits the part. Despite what he says about his lack of care for the circus members and belief that they've all lost their humanity, deep down, he craves interaction. Without it, there is no role for him to play.
So when Gangle starts to form a genuine relationship with Zooble, a person who actually enjoys her company, she is no longer the "sad one". They see her as a person who is more than her mask, and encourage her to stand up against Jax's control. This change in Gangle’s development isn’t because of the “power of friendship” but the humanity that Zooble actively brings into the relationship. They aren’t looking to hide their flaws with Gangle or play any kind of “role”. While they don’t open up as much about personal struggles like they were forced to do with Caine, this relationship gives comfort to both themself and to someone else who really needs it. Zooble doesn’t view Gangle as someone they need to change or “toughen up” but to encourage and support, which is exactly what ends up making her stronger.
With this, I think Jax definitely envies the real connection that Gangle has with someone else as something he has lost before (Ribbit, anyone?) and probably will never have again. These two lines that he says in episode five—“Do you think Gangle is capable of being happy? … Does she think hanging out with Zooble is going to magically fix that?”—implies so much. He’s afraid that this carefully constructed reality about the kind of character Gangle is can be destroyed by one person who treats her like a human being. Which means his own detachment is at risk too.
With Pomni
Pretty much all of Jax’s relationship with Pomni is characterized by a lack of understanding or compassion. He simply wants to make her a clone of him; the benefits of having a “partner in crime” without the emotional investment of a real friendship. The more he tries to convince himself that her humanity isn’t real, the more it ends up hurting himself in the end. In episode six, it is very clear that his original goal was not as straightforward as it seemed due to the actual connection that the two of them are able to make by working together. This is the reason why he’s so quick to downplay any reference to the two of them as a “team” —they’re just two characters who happened to be paired together for this adventure. But at the same time, he can’t help but feel shame and regret after the fight as this connection is likely something he hasn’t had in a long time.
While Zooble’s relationship with Pomni is much less emphasized, I think that the bar scene in episode five actually says a lot about how Zooble’s real personality makes Jax feel insecure. Pomni shows genuine interest in their skills, which Jax immediately has to undermine by making vaguely demeaning comments on their queer identity. He’s trying to bring back that “grumpy” role, refusing to let them get comfortable in an environment that highlights Zooble’s actual personality outside of the role he has assigned them. While Jax is mostly unsuccessful (Zooble finds out about the corn weakness) he’s able to shift Pomni’s attention back to himself with his “apology” and looks for the opportunity to catch her off guard. If Zooble is going to have Gangle for themself, he can at least test to see if Pomni will be as agreeable (spoiler alert: she isn’t).
And with that, just as Jax starts to notice the bond between Zooble and Gangle in episodes five and six, Zooble does the same concerning his relationship with Pomni. When they approach Jax on the beach in episode seven, they talk about how talking through things “with the people I trust” could help him, with a very clear glance back in Pomni’s direction. This comes right after episode six, where Zooble benefitted from a real moment of confiding with Gangle and ended up learning something new about themself. Gangle wholeheartedly believed in their confidence and self-esteem, which encouraged them to believe that those qualities aren’t fabricated, but a true reflection of their character. With that, Zooble recognizes that Jax (someone who could be facing a similar internal conflict) could benefit from the support that comes from a real friendship, and sees Pomni as someone who is capable of fulfilling that role.
These three facets continuously reinforce the idea that Jax and Zooble need interaction in their lives, but for very different goals. Zooble remains distant at first but comes to discover the beauty that comes from the mundane; even the most ridiculous and violent adventures can provide opportunities for community. And unlike Jax, it isn’t for the sake of personal entertainment, but rather a way to embrace the circumstances they’ve been forced into.
What Does This Mean for The End of TADC?
To wrap up, I want to consider what some of these thoughts might imply for the finale as someone who hasn’t seen any leaks thus far. I think we can all agree at this point that much of it will likely focus on Pomni and Jax’s relationship, and that’s something that I’m honestly not mad about. There’s a lot there that the finale could dive into, and I’m excited to see it for myself. But there is one idea that I want to present that might be a bit controversial; Pomni isn’t the right person to “help” or “save” Jax. This doesn’t mean she’ll actively hurt him, but her perspective comes from a place of recent human experience—she hasn’t had any real loss within the context of the circus yet. The closest thing she had to that was Gummigoo, and even with that, there wasn’t the regret that might come from all the missed opportunities or unspoken words that would come from a long-term relationship.
Then the next obvious answer would be Kinger, right? I mean, there’s the clear parallel of loss between Queenie and Ribbit, and Kinger has clearly had the ability to grieve over his partner in a healthier way. But what Jax lacks as of now (and likely won’t gain over the course of this last episode) is a real respect for who Kinger is as a person. He’s seen those moments of clarity and wisdom from episode eight, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg. There’s no backstory he's aware of in Kinger’s life during the circus to build off of. And much of Kinger’s support to others has been reinforcing the existing humanity of people like Pomni and Ragatha, where their fear (of Caine) or empathy (for Pomni and in turn, Jax) has become too much for them to carry alone.
Gangle definitely shouldn’t be in a position to help Jax after everything he’s done to her, and Ragatha has already tried and failed because of their closely shared history and grief. So that leaves us with one person, which seems deliberately convenient for the sake of my argument… or does it?
Kinger isn’t the only character that has had candid conversations. Gangle admits to Zooble that she’s starting to lose her sense of humanity because of how Jax has treated her. His harassment has become something inevitable, and the only way to avoid the worst of it is to play her role. But Zooble affirms that even with the very personal nature of their “avatar gimmicks” the soul still resides underneath. And to accept one’s reality is to love yourself—mistakes, flaws and all—no matter how impossible or difficult it seems. So would it be a stretch to assume that since the EP 6 conversation with Gangle is about Jax, then there could be some kind of future conversation Zooble has with Jax about Caine, the circus, and Pomni?
That kind of conversation (or more likely, argument) would definitely be the most difficult challenge Zooble would have in the entire show. It would require an insane amount of patience, understanding and maturity to navigate. But interestingly, what I do think they have above almost anyone else in the circus is a higher degree of respect from Jax himself. Which might not say a lot (this is Jax we’re talking about), yet it does mean something. With everything we just covered, it's clear that with the envy Jax has, it also comes with a vague sense of kinship. Most importantly, we know that as much as Zooble hates him, their emotional maturity shows that they believe he has the right to accept himself fully. That he has the right and the will to live.
I would hope that this kind of conversation could take place, not only for plot reasons but for the significance of all the buildup and thematic foiling we’ve seen between the two of them so far. Yet… I think the finale might deliberately leave that unfulfilled because it is the one conversation that might pull Jax far enough from the edge to get him to reconsider his ways, even for just a moment. To leave this push-and-pull in a kind of “checkmate” or a tragic ending would make this relationship more special, not as a lost opportunity that ruins the story but one that makes the ending cut even deeper. Maybe in another life, things could have turned out differently, and these two could have met in different circumstances—human ones, where they wouldn’t have to deal with the question of who they are in a digital world that constantly denies it.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading and please let me know your thoughts. :)
I've seen a lot of people comparing these two moments but I haven't seen anyone bring up the fact that these aren't mirror images.
In the pilot, Pomni uses the hand with the blue glove and we all know that blue represents escaping the circus.
But now in episode 8, Pomni uses the hand with the red glove, representing staying trapped in the circus.
This contrast is also clearly seen in how and why Pomni approaches the fake Exit Door.
In the pilot, Pomni frantically runs through the exit doors trying to find an exit, but in episode 8, she returns to this fake exit door to find a way to make staying in the circus more bearable. The plan to get the computer has nothing to do with leaving; the goal is just to reprogram Caine so that the current style of violent adventures/torture stops -- ideally, just to return things to how they were at the beginning.
And unlike in the pilot, Pomni is calm this time.
I don't think they're ever escaping.
Whether because they are just digital copies of minds or because there's no way now with Caine dead, and I think the ending will be the humans learning how to come to terms with their existence and make the most of it together as a group. They can find meaning in their lives there because they as people still matter. Their relationships to each other matter. Even if it's not the outside world, it's still real. And they have to face that.
Before Pomni showed up, every single character had a method of avoiding dealing with the reality of the circus. Zooble avoided the adventures and stayed outside of the group. Kinger dissociated. Jax pretended nothing was real and treated everything like a joke. Gangle literally put on a mask of being happy instead of showing how she really felt. Ragatha ignored any of the negatives and pretended everything was alright all the time.
But ever since Pomni's arrived they've all had to face themselves and their coping methods head on. They've had to learn to accept the things they ignored before.
And that goes back to the entire theme -- not changing yourself or getting rid of the things you hate about yourself but learning to love yourself as you exist now. Just because it's you and it exists.
Heeeyyy.... sooo... know how a LOT of Caine defenders (including myself) have been saying NO ONE sat down with Caine and tried to have a heart-to-heart with him...? And that's what led to the events of episode 8?
Ummm... HEY SO EPISODE 3. CAINE FORCES ZOOBLE TO HAVE A THERAPY SESSION WITH HIM. FORCES THEM TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART.
Zooble: "It's ME, remember? I don't... like myself. I HATE this body!"
And this the first instance that we see how deeply Zooble hates their body and how disastisfied they are with it. I can't include the image, but previously, Zooble outright says "I HAVE told you what my problem is! But you keep forgetting it!" Which then leads to this scene of Caine growing frustrated at his lack of memory. ^
And then the scene continues:
Caine: "Oh yeah-- NOW I remember why I couldn't remember!"
Caine literally forgets every single heart to heart he has with the group, because he views their distress as problems to fix, and the minute he thinks he's fixed their problem, he forgets the entire conversation. And on top of that, Zooble - the stand-offish person they are - unknowingly ordered Caine to forget it! So on top of that, every time Zooble gets frustrated with Caine and tries to communicate him to drop it, they end up compounding the situation even worse!
Bro. BRO. THIS IS FUCKING TRAGIC. Caine is literally trying to connect here, but his nature as an AI coupled with the fact a human accidentally gives him an order just makes him incapable of being able to connect. HE'S still able to retain his frustrations - of course he does it's his experiences - but he's systematically unable to retain any knowledge or concept of WHY his players are so frustrated with him. Why they don't like his adventures. Once he learns the root cause, and does something different to 'fix it'... he forgets they ever had a problem m. He 'fixed them.' Now he can go back to doing his usual tasks.
no NO episode 8 just gets WORSE the more I think about it.
"they'd rather Abstract than go on your adventures" Bubble says at the beginning of his exchange of abuse.
Zooble says: "And if we refuse?"
in his mind,
confirmation to Caine that this is true.
They'd rather go unengaged and Abstract than go on adventures.
Now.
Pilot Caine wouldn't have believed this.
He lets Zooble skip TWO adventures, and the at the start of the in-house adventure, it is shown that he already is quite accustomed and (relatively) unbothered by Zooble's past skipping.
Zooble getting involved in the Gloinks was pure fluke.
The only reason he asks zem to go in 6 was to have even numbers. Basically asking zem, "please just do this one, and you can skip the next."
Zooble going on 4 was some random thing that he may have thought was funny, or maybe he was looking for an excuse to push them because THEY were the ones who brought up the Suggestions Box, why would they THEN reject their OWN demand?
And 5? I mean it was obvious . . . they got under his skin. Had they not sniped at the very thing they knew made him insecure, they'd be reading a magazine the next day while everyone else went on adventures, just like they had in the beginning of that scene.
But overall,
"Speak for yourself," Pilot!Zooble retorts to Ragatha, claiming adventures stave off Abstraction. (they may for Ragatha, but not for Pomni or Zooble)
This is their normal.
Caine and Zooble's.
He clearly doesn't like it, but he lets them be, for the most part.
"That's what this is. A big puzzle that needs solving."
^THIS right here. Was Caine's actual Self. He was going to continue to try. He was going to continue to TRY to figure out humans (even though the hope of doing so was feeling slimmer and slimmer, the way he thought he lost Jax.)
But Bubble has cleverly planted this NEW terror into him.
Adventures should be MANDATORY.
He doesn't say it in as many words. But, in Caine's very vulnerable moment, the sadistic maniac has deeply imprinted a false dichotomy between adventures and Abstraction.
When we're terrified our rational minds take a backseat.
"Maybe you deserved to be abandoned."
This could be referring to the box he was stuffed in, or the hypothetical button pressing where they'd enter the macroverse. Or both.
This is his deepest darkest fear.
Inflicted on him when he was a literal infant analog.
This isn’t a “god complex” (“god” is more his “species” than a human psychological thing. Remember. He’s not human. He was BORN a god. He’s like if infant Hercules in that movie got tortured by Hades when he got his hands on him rather than killing him.)(This is akin to him roaring “I AM MINOTAUR”, because in the original mythology canon there is only one Minotaur.) This response is rather the equivalent of defensive and reflexively punching someone if they merely passively rest their hand on you when you’re triggered from being beat up.
Trust, that is very much a thing.
Watch how the Red Dot desperately SLAMS itself against its cage, doing damage to itself while desperately clawing for connection and freedom.
The infant god is bloodying its knuckles, its tiny hands, trying to escape.
@iamallinfortfp
"They won't Abstract, they won't leave me," [which would resonate with the isolation and loneliness inflicted by the box] and the knowledge they wanted to press the blue button (although isn't that unclear?).
"I WON'T LET THEM."
Zooble, filtered through his current addled state, is getting across to him, "No. We're just going to Abstract. Leave us alone to do so."
He can't do that?????? his digital mind screams at him. He tries to keep his calm. Stay composed. He composes himself before he approaches the humans. Before he turns around. Before he says, "And . . . since when were you in charge?" Inside he is still freaking out. We are shown this visually. Right after the electrocution office scene, he turns around and looks at the viewer, having put his mask back on.
JUST LIKE WHEN JAX’S IRISES WENT FROM SMALL TO COMPOSED.
They are both desperately clinging to their funnyman persona. Only nobody's there for Caine to help him through it.
AND THEN WHAT DOES POMNI SAY LATER?
"We're all going to Abstract one day"
We'd rather Abstract than go on your adventures.
AGAIN.
This destroys any vestige of that hard-won composure left, and all that forcibly suppressed trauma is allowed to bleed straight through his code, glitching multi-arms and his face contorting in the digital form of agony.
So I’ve seen a non-zero amount of posts being upset about Caine’s finale redemption and while everyone is entitled to their opinion, this one kind of rubs me the wrong way and while I don’t want to call anyone out about it, I do want to counter it a bit.
“They don’t tell Caine he was deleted by mistake” Not on screen, no, and I certainly would have loved to see this get resolved, but I don’t think it’s a stretch infer that he doesn’t spend the rest of his life thinking his friends murdered him on purpose, because I simply don’t think the final montage & credit sequence of ep 9 would play out that way if that was the case.
They clearly all become close, Caine clearly looks happy and is very much included. I just don’t think you get to “matching Xmas sweaters” level of found family without working through that. We, the audience, already know definitively that it was an accident, so I personally don’t think it’s a huge omission to not reiterate it on screen.
“So Caine’s just gotta mask forever now to avoid upsetting the humans, huh?” The problem I have with this is that the over-the-top wacky persona WAS ITSELF A MASK!
There’s a solid parallel with Jax here, I think. Jax had trauma from her awful coming out experience and hid her real self away, hiding behind a cartoonish persona when people got too close. (I have a whole meta on Jax: click here if you’re interested in going deeper on that.) (Click the keep reading below if you’re interested in going deeper on this.)
In the abstraction flashbacks, you can hear the wall go up. When Jax first arrives in the circus, her voice sounds, well, human. But after that night with Ribbit, the Raggedy Andy impression gets stronger & stronger, symbolising Jax hiding behind a false persona.
With Caine, it goes the other way. I think it’s important to note that we mostly see Caine drop his “cartoon” voice when he’s NOT with the humans. It’s much less pronounced when he’s talking to Bubble in his office in ep 8. It’s barely there when he’s first alone in the void in ep 9, and it’s basically cast aside when he’s talking things through with himself/his brother after he learns more about the wider world.
I’m not saying that Caine isn’t naturally wacky — of course he is! But it’s not like people usually make their masks out of whole cloth. Rather, we hide behind parts of ourselves. We take a small part of our personality and use it to shield the rest. But that’s not really all that we are.
Caine made his world a circus. He put on a show. Now he can finally unmask and be his full self.
Now yes, when he first appears he is clearly walking on eggshells. The last time he saw them, if you’ll recall, he physically and psychologically tortured everyone. But Zooble (and it’s important that it’s them in particular) says that they’re glad to have him back. They follow him to the stage to accept his olive branch.
Pomni choosing to keep her circus name feels like a bit of an olive branch as well: accepting the circus for what it is and, by extension, accepting Caine and the place he has had and will have in their lives.
After that, the final montage is progressing through stages of the group healing and coming together:
• Caine taking notes, listening, nodding along, feeling overwhelmed and nervous to stand up for himself. If this remained static, I would understand the issue, but it’s step one. He needs to catch up on his listening skills. He needs to learn how to put the needs of others before his own sometimes. It makes sense to go too far the other way at first as you’re building trust and making up for past mistakes (sorry to my own url I guess haha but it’s possible that mayyyybe he did one or two things wrong, actually)
• Playing D&D, clearly invited to take part. Gangle reaching out and making Caine feel welcome. She has some experience with masking herself and I’m sure she knows from experience that roleplaying games are a great way to open up and let loose in a safe setting when you’re having trouble doing that irl. When Caine rolls that 12, you can see that Ragatha & Pomni are tense at first. They’re worried about what might happen if Caine gets upset and, truly, that’s fair! But he has the cutest little crashout ever and they can laugh about it together, with Ragatha clearly comforting him and Gangle sticking to her guns as DM, which tbh seems like an act of trust — not treating him different from the others and giving him a safe space to practice negative emotions in. And Caine doesn’t hold that disappointment back — the way his model stretches here feels like that cartoon side of him coming out organically. He’s clearly expressing himself honestly here, I see no mask.
• Gangle bonding with him over art, inviting him to draw with her. They are in her room here, she’s letting Caine into her private space. Again, that’s a sign of trust. From the sketches around the room, it looks like they were drawing together — Caine’s bees are here. But Gangle has a more developed understanding of drawing, I would anrgue, and the way Caine is leaning in with his whole chest, he’s curious about it and wants to learn from her. The first page she shows him is a full comic — we know Caine loves telling stories, so I could see him being interesting in putting his bees into situations, but not being sure how panel layout etc. works. The fact that he probably asked her for help is huge, honestly. He was so afraid to show weakness, to admit that there were things he couldn’t do, so afraid to be bad at anything because he had so much trauma around being cast out for Getting It Wrong. Admitting that there’s something he wants help with shows that this trust flows both ways — he’s not worried that Gangle will think less of him for not being perfect at art. Gangle’s mask is fully down in this scene too: she’s getting visibly excited, going “oh wait, I need to show you this too!” they’re both sitting on the floor together. Come ON this is adorable! Their body language is screaming “friends who are comfortable around each other”
• Softball scene is just funnyyyy, i was crying so hard i needed a laugh okay? But also yea softball is clearly significant to Ragatha and we saw earlier how she reached out to Gangle by teaching it to her. Now Caine is a part of that, down on the diamond and not just watching from above.
• Building up trust with Zooble was almost certainly a major endeavour. With most of the circus cast, Caine simply never built any trust at all. With Zooble, he broke their trust. See: the therapy session. He *was* probably masking around them for a while after he came back, really trying to not make them mad. I think it might have even taken Zooble a minute to not get upset at Caine over little things that reminded them of the past, even when it wasn’t really fair in the moment. But this scene at the bar shows that this arc has a happy ending! Zooble remembered his drink from They All Get Guns, they’re leaning into their avatar gimmick using extra arms to bartend like a champ, they slide that drink over and it was made just for him and from Caine’s face that’s clearly a significant step for them! The beginning of a proper friendship.
• I’m sorry but there’s no way to square that final shot at the dinner table with the “Caine’s a nervous wreck masking and walking on eggshells forever” take. He and Ragatha are both leaning in toward each other, Caine is the one doing most of the talking, highly animated, smiling, taking up space, getting a genuine laugh. He’s finally become a part of the group. He has friends. It’s real.
And that’s all before the end credits my GOODNESS! Matching Xmas sweaters, gloink ornaments on the tree, jumping into Gangle’s arms when he gets scared of a monster on an adventure, EVERYONE EXPLORING THE DIFFRRENT WORLDS TOGETHER, and the final image we get of the digital world being Caine proudly putting an orb on display. It warms my heart, okay? I love it so much! 🥹
I was incredibly nervous for episode 9, on a Caine level. I was so ready to accept crumbs and be content to bolster them with fix-it fics. And then Goose went ahead and made all of my brightest hopes and dreams for this boy CANON BAYBEEEE!
At the end of the day, I think that my fellow Caine stans deserve to be happy. We were all correct about him being a sweet, little guy who was always coming from a good place, even if he was maybe, arguably, SOMEWHAT misguided once or twice… (sorry, old habits ;-) )
So yeah, that’s my personal take on it. Feel free to continue to disagree, and thank you for reading all the way to the end no matter how you feel.
