I feel like an angel lost its wings. Or like those stories, like in Peter Pan, I haven't grown up, but my friend did. There's something wonderful about being in a place where you can't be your real self, but knowing that you can be your real self in the future. In a: eventually way. In a: I'll keep holding out. But I know who I will be, I see the semblance, the mode and vague shape of what kind of person I will be, though not all the details are clear. I found out a few weeks ago that my friend's sibling stopped drawing. I was really devastated finding that out. She worked so hard on her art. She was into video games and had her own OC and I loved that character's design and backstory. I tried searching her user up here on Tumblr, as I remember it vividly, but I just couldn't find her account. I'm finally feeling happy, motivated, and like I have direction. I don't know where exactly I'll end up but I know that there's something pushing me to go 'move' in a certain way. Like a compass. And now that I'm slowly gettting control over my life, I wanted to reach out and connect. I haven't seen this friend since 2021 or 2022. But she was seriously someone I looked up to, wanted to be like, and she made such amazing memories for me. Me, my little brother, her, and her siblings would play games like FNAF and friday night funkin, all taking turns on her one computer that was connected to the TV. I'd talk to her about my favorite artists. And now, I've survived my family and I'm almost out of here but its like I'm alive, but the person I knew... isn't. We're in two seperate worlds and I'm just so sad because of the news I've been told. Why did she stop drawing? I wouldn't even mind actually finding the reason but it just sucks that there was a reason in the first place. It makes me feel really sad for her and I do hope she'll return to drawing again; one day but again I'm really sad.