Let it out (a TGWDLM fanfiction) Chapter 4 What do you want Paul?
“Paul?” Emma slowly pushed the door open and walked into the room, ready to fight or bolt out of the room in case Paul was to attack her. She noticed him almost right away, he was laying on the floor, somewhat leaning against the wall, eyes closed, not moving. Seeing him like this worried her and she instantly rushed to his side. She was still alert and ready to flee if necessary, though not as much as when she had entered the room. “Paul?” she repeated, shaking his shoulder gently.
Paul began to stir awake and Emma let out a relieved sigh as he opened his eyes. The look in his eyes, he had snapped out of it again, after three whole days she finally had the real Paul back. “Oh thank god!” she exclaimed before Paul could even say anything, she wrapped her arms around him, completely letting her guard down after seeing that it was really him.
Paul felt confused, he had woken up after what felt like a restless sleep only to be met by Emma who was hugging him even though they had decided that physical contact should remain limited because of his infection. His throat hurt, it felt extremely sore and his muscles ached. He had tuned out halfway through all the dancing and singing and now he felt like he had just woken up from a nap, yet at the same time he was more tired than ever.
“How long was I out for?” he finally asked, gently pushing Emma away. The look on Emma’s face made him feel like he wouldn’t like the answer much. “Three days,” it felt like the world stopped for a moment as these words left Emma’s mouth, Paul could only stare at her, mouth slightly agape. “Emma...why didn’t you shoot me? I thought we’d decided that you would shoot me if it seemed like the infection had won.”
Emma didn’t respond right away. She didn’t want to, it was not a nice thing to think about, it wasn’t nice to talk about either. “I didn’t shoot you because then I wouldn’t have had anything left,” she spoke softly, looking down as she said it “it’s selfish, I know, but all my loved ones are dead or infected... though I guess if they’re infected they’re also dead so... I suppose you could just say that all my friends and family are fucking dead.”
Paul gently embraced Emma. Sure, he didn’t want to touch her too much, afraid that he would end up spreading the infection, but he knew that she really needed this right now, and maybe he did too. He had thought about this, about the fact that all their loved ones, their family, their friends and their co-workers were all dead. At this point they only really had each other. “I would rather join you than shoot you,” Emma whispered against his chest, Paul looked down, furrowing his brows. “You won’t be you anymore” he replied softly, he felt Emma shrug “I might not be myself anymore, but at least I won’t be alone.”
He wanted to get mad at her, he wanted to tell her that it was a terrible decision, but who was he to judge? What if there was some sort of future for them even if they did both become fully infected? Charlotte and Sam had no longer been themselves, but they had seemed happy. It wasn’t genuine, he knew that, Charlotte should’ve gotten out of that mess of a relationship ages ago and Sam clearly had no interest in staying with Charlotte, yet in their infected state they had seemingly grown towards each other again. But their love was not real, was it?
Don’t think about it just yet, he told himself, who knew, maybe the human race would stop the infection, maybe Emma would find a cure for him, maybe things didn’t have to end this way. Only time would tell.
Thank you all so much for your support on the fanfiction, I don’t want to make it go on for too long but as long as I have ideas to continue building upon this story I’ll keep going.